This past Saturday night, as I was waiting for one of my girlfriends to pick me up for a holiday party, I started thinking deeply about the magic of the holiday season.
As I put on my red dress, red lipstick, and grabbed a bottle of red wine for the host, I thought about the feelings of hope that many of us experience in our love lives at this time. I pondered my own ideas of the miracles and magic that I currently-and historically- hope for at this time of year. And I switched on my iPhone camera with the strong desire to achieve the night's perfect selfie. Ya know, that ideal balance between "cool girl" and "All I want for Christmas is you".
No doubt there are a lot of expectations and "pressures" that come with the holiday season. No exceptions are made when it comes to dating, relationships, and marriage.
If we are single we think that maybe "the one who got away" will come back-friend us on Facebook- and, ya know, sweep us off our feet by the time the ball drops on the 31rst. Or maybe we will lock eyes with a special someone over that bowl of spiked eggnog. Instead of encountering a bunch of singles who are darting their eyes around the room as we are trying to make conversation with them.
If we are coupled, we think maybe this is the year we will be invited to come to dinner with the family, back to our partner's hometown etc. Or we think that maybe this is the time he will finally pop the question. Will there be a sparkly ring waiting for me under the Christmas tree?
If we are married, it doesn't end there. We wonder if our partner will help us cook, or clean, or not run out of the room and leave us alone when Aunt Sally is going off on another one of her painful tangents.....
The problem with all this wondering is that we are focused on what we are getting or not getting. We are failing to realize the true magic of the season: The joy of giving. Giving for the sake of giving without expecting anything in return.
When it comes to love, it can feel risky to give and give with no guarantee that it will come back to you. But that's where you have to take a leap of faith. That's where you have to be unsure of where you are going but decide to go anyway. The journey to a real long-lasting love does not come with GPS. But if you keep your eyes open, there are signs that can help you along the way.
If you are looking for a sign: This is it! In the spirit of giving, I have decided that I am going to to answer your most pressing love questions from now through Jan.1, 2017.
Just because I want to help you. And help you figure out what lights up your soul. I invite you to take the opportunity to send me an email at Rachel@RachelRusso.com and have your question answered before year's end. The only catch: Your email must be 250 words or less. 'Cause I might have some more holiday parties to attend!
In the meantime, I wish you faith, hope, love, and happiness during this most precious season. Be well and enjoy whatever it is that lights up your soul.