Because its kind of fun to take a peak into the brain of someone who lives, breathes, eats, and sleeps dating and relationships every now and then; isn't it?
1. Ladies, if you are going to post a group photo on your online dating profile, please at least be the cute one!
2. Some men need to value the role of wives and mothers more. I was watching VH1's Family Therapy last night and was horrified when I heard Michael Lohan say ( in regard to his ex, Dina): "What has she done? She produced kids." I was so disturbed that I posted my response on Twitter and Instagram. Note: Michael Lohan has since tweeted me blaming that statement on the producer's editing.
3. Speaking of sex: Gay dating is basically the same as straight dating--with some very important differences including a (perhaps) more urgent need to focus on discovering if there is sexual compatibility. I have recently been doing some matchmaking with gay clients and even training an entrepreneur on how to start up a gay matchmaking business through Matchmaking Institute. So, yes, I have been consulting my gay friends and learning lots! One thing is for sure: The "rules" of dating aren't as clear with same sex couples, so they are all learning together.
4. So many women above fifty who come to matchmakers are completely unrealistic about who wants to date them. If you are fifty-two, your age range should not be forty to fifty, it should be fifty-two to sixty-seven. Older men who hire matchmakers want to date younger. Preferably ten to fifteen years younger.
5. Single middle-aged and single older women need to help single middle-aged and older women meet men. There are only so many to go around, and women should help other women meet them. So, if you have a brother, best friend, dentist or accountant who is a single, quality guy.....hook a sister up!
6. Dark chocolate-and wine-can make any date better. (And heart-shaped chocolate with ice-breaking questions on them like these that were assembled for a mixer that I am co-hosting tonight are still my favorite!)
7. Sometimes, post-breakup, you start noticing random strangers and thinking they are your ex. They aren't your ex. You aren't crazy.
8. Actually, no woman is ever really crazy....until she meets the man who makes her crazy.
9. As for the random strangers, if they are attracted to you because of your perfume that "smells really good" and feel the need to tell you, well, you are probably wearing too much perfume. (But perfume is a good substitute for hairspray in a pinch!)
10. All those law-of-attraction experts are on to something. You should probably start being the person you want to attract. Right. About. Now.
Want to share your random thoughts on dating and relationships? Shoot me an email at Rachel@RachelRusso.com or write in the comments below.
Once upon a time, I was dating a guy who was really a great catch--minus a few unforgiving "flaws" which have resulted in me no longer dating him.
Although he did well planning dates in the beginning of our relationship, it wasn't long before he started slacking, as many men do once they get comfortable with a woman.
I nicely told him several times that I would appreciate if he could go back to planning in advance, as my schedule is tight and my desire to look forward to our date nights is high. I also shared that advanced planning makes me feel more respected and valued. After these "talks" he'd apologize and go back to asking me out ahead of time for a week or two, but then he would revert back to his non-committal ways.
How could this be? Had I gotten involved with the "stunad" that I wrote about in How To Get Over Your Ex: A Step By Step Guide To Mend A Broken Heart Italian American Style ?
Oh, hell no.
If my honest straightforward approach of telling him what I wanted wasn't working, I would have to pull out the big guns. Because actions do speak louder than words.....
I'd have to start being unavailable. While I never accepted his last minute plans, I always offered another day to get together--but no more! I was not going to be around to see him as much. He would learn that if he wanted to see me he would have to make plans ahead of time. After all, I wasn't just dating to date. I wasn't doing research like I did with my ninety-two-dates-in-one-year-reality-date-a-thon either. I was dating because I wanted a serious, committed relationship that could work out for the long term.
I was doing this on purpose. Because I was dating with a purpose.
Now, I am sharing my insight on how to be a purposeful dater with others. If you are in or near NYC, I invite you to come on over and join in on the fun!
Next week, on Tuesday, March 29th, I will be joining three other awesome experts on Dating Panel II, hosted by The Date Meister, discussing all kinds of issues that people face in their love lives today.
Check out the details here .
And while you are at it, why don't you tell me what you did on purpose in the comments below or via email at Rachel@RachelRusso.com?
Is this guy ****ing kidding me?
That's the question that went through my mind when I first saw the photo of my client's potential match.
I was helping her manage her online dating account and getting ready to draft a personalized message of introduction-as I have done so many times before-when I came across the latest Internet dating horror.
The guy put up a photo of him and his ex and decided to "X" out his ex's face with a heart.
Not. Feeling. That. One. Bit.
Like.....learn to crop a photo, dude.
So, yeah, the heart doesn't make this cute. And this guy isn't getting lucky in love.
And neither are the other guys who are doing this. Apparently this is a thing, because I have seen it recently on Bumble before too....
But who is getting lucky these days?
This St. Patrick's Day, as I worked from home while recovering from an upper respiratory infection that has left me a bit MIA- so sorry I been slacking with my writing here- I contemplated what it takes for people to get lucky in love.
I decided that there is a common denominator: Those who are lucky in love are authentic. They tell the truth about who they are and what they want out of dating and relationships. They share their innermost drum roll, please feelings with their (potential) significant other.
What I am saying is: You want your pot of gold? Well you have to show 'em how you really feel.
Unless, of course, you feel like putting a heart over your ex's face on Match.com, in which case you should just step away from the online dating site!
If you don't want to waste your precious time, money, and emotions on people who don't feel the same way that you do, you need to get vulnerable and get vulnerable fast.
I know it can be uncomfortable. Trust me--relationship expert status aside-I wasn't always so good at sharing feelings with the men I dated. That goes for both positive and negative feelings.
And now? They text me something that doesn't jive with me - like "K" or "Alright" after i just vented/poured my heart out-you better believe I will have nooo problem letting them hear it!
But let's play nice.....
No doubt, it can be even more scary to share the positive, warm, and mushy feelings. It can make you feel nauseous--especially if you are in love with someone and suspect it is unrequited. In fact, this is exactly when you need to share your truth--like your life depended on it. Because, maybe it does.
How do you do it?
You tell him them you miss them after the breakup.
You say "I love you" even when you are scared they might not say it back.
You make a grand gesture with a gift or a trip or a Times Square billboard that reads "Will you marry me?"
Okay, let's hold off on the billboard.......
For now, just realize that telling the truth will put you down a lucky path in love. It may not work right away. You may remain single for years. Or your partner might not want to hear it. There will be bumps along the way, but telling the truth is still worth it!
Because, remember, there is nothing lucky about living in a fantasy world that will all come crashing down and result in an image of your face blacked out in someone's online profile, photo album, or mind.
So, tell the truth. Today.