Happy Spring, Ya'll! There's no better time to make over your image and love life like the present.
Looking + feeling fab and being on your "A" game when dating or interacting with your current partner or potential spring fling are crucial to your happiness in the love department.
The good news is: Beauty comes in all shapes, sizes, and brands. Some things are, of course, considered universally attractive. Being eco-friendly should be one of them. PS: Check out the blog post I wrote in honor of Earth Day for 7 Reasons Eco-Friendly Singles Are More Attractive.
Who would've thought recycling could be so sexy?
In the spirit of making the world a sexier place, I am teaming up with Julie Zuckerman, a licensed and certified Physician Associate at Schweiger Dermatology/Clear Clinic, for Single Ladies Night Out on May 15th, 2014.
At this fun and free event, Julie and I will help the single ladies of NYC look and feel great about navigating the challenges of the modern day dating scene. I'll be giving a talk filled with insider dating tips that you won't want to miss!
We will provide discounts for all Clear Clinic Procedures and my Dating & Relationship Coaching, as well as Image Consulting sessions.
We will have giveaways and a raffle for high end products. Wine and appetizers will be served.
In addition, all single ladies will be considered for a complimentary matchmaking membership with Model Quality Introductions--an upscale, national company where I do some matchmaking in the NYC office.
The event takes place on Thursday, May 15th, at 7:30PM. It will be held at Clear Clinic, 21 West 19th Street.
RSVP:Rachel@RachelRusso.com by May 10th.
If you are single lady, come join us. Everyone else: Pass this on to a single lady you know.
In the spirit of Earth Day, let’s celebrate those who live their lives in an eco-friendly fashion. After reading this blog post, you may want to re-evaluate your daily routines, the products in your bathroom, or, umm, the person you are currently dating.
The truth is: Eco-friendly singles aren’t just doing good for Mother Earth, they are increasing their chances for a happy and successful love life by making themselves more attractive.While anyone’s level of attractiveness is, of course, subjective, I wholeheartedly believer eco-friendly singles are more attractive and here is why:
They eat healthier and therefore look better. Your mom was right: You are what you eat. Eco- friendly singles eat fresher more nutritious foods. They regularly visit Farmer’s Markets. They buy local. Years of mindful eating keeps their skin glowing, their hair healthy, and their appearance youthful.
They get more exercise and enjoy the physical and psychological benefits. People who are really dedicated to not harming the Earth do more than just carpool. They walk whenever they can. They take public transportation. Maybe even bike. They look and feel better when they aren’t living such a sedentary lifestyle.
They don’t put crap on their skin. True eco-friendly singles don’t just eat healthy foods, but feed their skin as well with products that are organic and made of quality ingredients. (I mentioned Young Living in a recent blog post, and they are really worth checking out. If you want more info or to purchase, let me know.) Point is: No matter who makes your face creams and body washes, non-toxic is the way to go if you want to look your best. And, by now, we all know an attractive appearance is essential to attracting other singles.
They are responsible. While others are too lazy to think about how they use resources like energy and water, eco-friendly singles are responsible enough to make habits that make a difference. They know it isn’t so difficult to carry a reusable water bottle (instead of a plastic bottle) to the gym. Or a canvas bag when grocery shopping. (They get the reusable salad bowl at Just Salad too!) Dating someone who lives in a responsible way is much more appealing than dating someone careless and lazy.
They care about something greater than themselves. In general, singles with a passion and genuine do-gooder-spirit are attractive. If someone shows that they care about the environment, it is clear that they have some depth or at least care about more than just their own petty bullshit. If they can care about an important issue, like, say, erosion, they can care about you.
If you want to learn about how you can spread the word to help reverse erosion or donate to funding research and technology, check out the Outer Banks Campaign here http://savethebanks.org/cause-view/save-the-banks/
If you want to know what to recycle, check with your local recycle center. In the meantime, let me give you a hint. It is NOT your ex.
If you need help learning not to recycle your past relationships, check out my new book How To Get Over Your Ex: A Step By Step Guide To Mend A Broken Heart Italian American Style http://booklocker.com/books/7340.html
In other words, the people in your life must understand that you are not open twenty-four hours to meet their needs.
If you wanted to provide the Rx to make everyone and their mother feel better, you would be a pharmacy. Not a
friend. Family Member. Boyfriend. Girlfriend. Husband Or
It isn't cute when the people in your life are thirsty for your attention. And it's not a good look when you are
overly needy either.
The key to having a successful relationship with anyone is boundaries. You have to set them, communicate them, and maintain them.
Whether you are newly dating or married for decades, there will come a time when you or your partner will try to walk all over those boundaries. Don't do it. Don't let them do it. Don't cross that line in the sand. Or push that slow texter over the edge. (Because you are anxious about their lack of response.) I mean no one likes slow texters, but it isn't the end of the world, really.
Whoever you are and wherever you go, just remember: You don't need anyone's constant attention to survive. And certainly not to thrive.
You got this.
How can you start to use or continue to use boundaries as a way to maintain successful relationships? Please share your comments below.
There are things in life that are just plain complicated.
Coming up with one clear path to career success. Beating a Candy Crush addiction. Reasoning with a drunk person. And, of course, getting over your ex.
In the days and weeks following a breakup, common sense is
not so common for many of us. When we are in such a vulnerable state, we can lose sight of what we need to do to bounce back after the loss of a significant relationship.
Instead of moving forward, we move backward by stalking our ex everywhere from Instagram to the local diner. Or maybe we move away from our ex and dive head first into a relationship with someone else-- who is basically just our ex in different packaging. Ah, the rebound.
While I’d never claim that finding, keeping, or ending a relationship is easy, there are ways to make all of these processes a whole lot simpler. When it comes to mending a broken heart, you’ve really got to do the following:
You must accept that your relationship is over, and there is no turning back. A breakup is like a death. In my recently-published book, How To Get Over Your Ex: A Step By Step Guide To Mend A Broken Heart Italian American Style, I suggest that you treat it as such. It is crucial that you let yourself go through the stages of grieving without getting in touch with your ex. You may think that a quick phone call or a-just-checking-in-text is innocent enough. Forgettaboutit! If you want to move on, you need to adhere to a strict no contact policy—at least for a considerable amount of time.
If you are tempted to reach out to your ex, you should sit down and make a list of all the reasons why your relationship is broken and why your ex, is, umm, a stunad. Read it and reread it until you believe it! The truth is: You will never have a new future if you keep such a tenacious grip on your past. Perhaps, the single most important thing you must do to get over your ex is to accept the fact that the relationship is over. Like Badda Bing, Badda Boom!
You have to embrace your new identity as a single person, and create opportunities to meet new people.
Contrary to popular belief, time does not heal all--unless you are doing something productive with your time. By productive, I do not mean sitting at home and watching Real Housewives reruns. I mean taking action that will have a positive impact on your ability to transition into a happy life as a single. You are single, so go out and act like it! Post-breakup is an ideal time to throw yourself into your work and pursue the hobbies you never got around to when you were in a relationship. Making new friends-you know, people that don’t remind you of your ex-can be a tremendous help. This is easier than you think during the summer.
If you are in the tri-state area, I wholeheartedly recommend you get in touch with my friend, David Shapiro. He has a social and professional networking company that runs summer shares everywhere from The Hamptons & Fire Island to Club Getaway & Atlantic City! Trust me: I’ve recently participated in David’s shares and events. They are a lot of fun! If you can broaden your horizons and expand your social network, it won’t be too long before you meet that person who reminds you exactly why it never worked out with your ex.
Want help getting over your ex? Get your copy of How To Get Over Your Ex Italian American Style at Amazon, Barnesandnoble.com or Booklocker today. http://booklocker.com/books/7340.html
For more information on how David Shapiro is redefining the summer share in 2014, please visit http://davidshapiro.net. Or call David directly at 212-579-4844. He will welcome you into his social network
and you'll be thinking "what was the name of that ex" in no time!
A serial dater, as per Urban Dictionary, is commonly defined as “one who engages in the process of systematically dating an obscene amount of people in a short span of time”.
Chances are you know a serial dater or two-- especially if you live in a big city. Perhaps, thanks to dating apps like Tinder and online dating sites like Match.com, you are even a serial dater. If so, reading this blog post might even feel a bit like looking in the mirror. If you are wondering if you are dating a serial dater, don’t worry there will be plenty of clues—typically in texts like this:
As you can imagine, being a Dating & Relationship Coach as well as a Matchmaker in NYC for almost a decade, I’ve encountered plenty of serial daters. There was even a time that some might’ve considered me a serial dater; but I really wasn’t. Sure I went on ninety-two dates and blogged about them as Ms. New York of 3six5dates.com, but in reality I was just acting as an investigative journalist doing a social research experiment. And ya know, just being a girl looking for a boy to love her. So now that we’ve got that cleared up, allow me to share three truths I’ve observed about people who date a lot.
Disclaimer: These truths don’t necessarily apply to all serial daters. However, from my experience, they apply to most. So don’t kill the messenger, I’m just relaying the messages I’ve observed.
Serial daters have got issues. We’ve all got issues, and serial daters are no exception. Most serial daters are trying to fill a void. Whether they feel empty because they haven’t found anyone to replace an ex, are terribly lonely, or are just bored at work, they date to distract themselves from their pain. And if they don’t feel any emptiness? Well, they are usually either commitment phoebes, people who are unrealistic about the dating process, or perfectionists chasing after a relationship or person that doesn’t exist. Of course, many serial daters are in denial about all of these issues—which is in itself a whole other issue.
Serial daters don’t take any one person seriously. The culture of modern day dating provides singles with more date options than they could ever really need. Serial daters are overwhelmed by those options and often won’t make plans until the last minute for fear that something better may come along if they do. Serial daters think having all these options is good and normal. I don’t really blame them, because these days it seems like nearly everyone has the potential to become a serial dater. Even Andy Cohen is on Tinder! And then there was that “more is better” commercial we all have ingrained in our psyche…
Nugget of Truth: People who go on a half a dozen or more dates per week are usually more caught up in dating for sport than dating to find real love. Serial daters are consuming so much quantity that they fail to see the quality right in from of them. This is why they want to meet you after exchanging three text messages. This is why they text you instead of calling you in the first place. This is why they have “exit strategies” for their first dates—i.e. the drinks, dinners, and brunches which hardly ever lead to seconds.
Serial daters aren’t so nice when they don’t want to see you anymore. Not only does the average serial dater lack the time to respond to all the messages in his or her dating site inbox, he or she doesn’t even have the energy to stick out a date that they aren’t feeling. That’s right, the serial dater is the person who will think nothing of cutting a date short. They aren’t dating to make friends, so don’t be surprised if they don’t want to stick around when they aren’t feeling romantic chemistry. They don’t feel like they owe you any explanation afterward either. So you can forget about that post-date-thank-you-text. They certainly won’t tell you why they won’t be going out with you out again. They’ve dated so many people who have never told them and this often makes them bitter and jaded. (Dating Rule #989: The more you date, the more jerks and crazies you encounter.) So serial daters wonder why should they should be nice to you if they don’t want anything to do with you. After all, to the serial dater, whatever you shared was just another meaningless date. Cue to the fade away…..
And, well, on to the next one.
Have you found these observations about serial daters to be true? Are you a serial dater yourself? How did you become one? Should serial daters reform their ways to find real love? Please share your comments here.
Raise your hand if you've ever been guilty of slacking off in the health & wellness department. You know:
Doing more magazine-reading than calorie-burning on the treadmill. Having pizza and French fries for dinner. Letting that inflammatory email from #WorstClientEver ruin your entire day.
Yeah, me too.
In the spirit of World Health Day, which is coming up on April 7th, I wanted to share my belief in the notion that living a healthy lifestyle is a prerequisite for having a satisfying love life.
Studies + common sense show that both men and women are biologically driven to be attracted to the healthiest in the dating pool. You don’t have to get all Darwinian to realize that those who are in shape, eat well, and minimize stress are the most fun to be in a relationship with!
If you want THEM to want YOU, it is time to get your healthy on, because like attracts like, my friend. After all, you can’t really ask for a six pack when the only six pack you’ve ever had is a six pack of beer.
Once you break your bad habits and commit to a routine, being healthy is easier than you think. Jumpstart a healthy life and love with the following:
Exercise that You Don’t Hate
If you don’t hate your workout, you might actually start to enjoy it. The key to maintaining your fitness is to find exercise that is fun and to mix things up every now and then so that you don’t get bored. Personally, my love affair with yoga has waxed and waned.
But one thing I’ll always heart: Dancing to great, uplifting music. Zumba does it for me. In fact, I’ll be trying a new Zumba Sentao class with Alyson Campbell this weekend. And since trying The Vixen Workout, well, I think I could get addicted!
I mean: What’s not to love about that Beyonce-inspired-booty-shaking-positive-mantra-twerking-goodness?
Whole Foods & Products that Aren’t Made Of Crap
When you continuously eat all those antioxidant-rich fruits and veggies, healthy fats, whole grains, and lean protein dishes, you are making yourself beautiful inside and out. And we all love to be with someone who is easy on the eyes. A healthy diet will make your skin glow more than any bronzer a Sephora gift card can buy. While we are on the subject, all skin care products are not created equal! If you are not going to eat food with preservatives and additives, why on earth would you put all that crap on your skin?
Healthy Stress Levels
If you are wondering about the golden rule of health and well being, it probably has something to do with managing your stress levels. You can be doing everything else right in terms of diet, exercise, and products, but if you have really high cortisol (stress) levels, you are never going to be at your most attractive. In fact, in a recent study at University of Turku, men rated women with the lowest cortisol levels as the most physically desirable!
Trust me, it is no picnic to be dating someone who is constantly stressed out with work, finances, or life in general. Not that it’s any fun to be the stressed out person who is always checking the phone either! When I’m stressed, I like to be sure I’m getting enough of my beauty sleep. In order to have an amazing night’s rest, I use things like Chamomile tea, journaling before bed, and Young Living Lavender Essential Oil on the soles of my feet. You might want to try these things or otherwise: Just Breathe.
So are you healthy enough to make THEM want YOU? If not, what can you do differently?
Leave a comment on the blog if you have ideas for a healthier life & love.