When something bad happens in your love life, it is easy to get into a negative mindset.
You wonder why these things have to happen to you. You remember a similar past experience that felt equally as terrible. You decide that something is inherently wrong with you. You go out into the dating world-or into interaction with your partner-feeling shitty about yourself, expecting the worst, and guess what: The worst happens!
Do you know what this is?
Its a self-fulfilling prophecy, that's what. And it keeps you in that stuck place that is exactly where you don't want to be. If that's how you get it wrong in love, how do you get it RIGHT?
Well, first off, you don't stress about doing everything perfectly, because you never will.
And, yes, this is coming from someone who strives to get as close to perfection as she can--even when it means several attempts at taking the perfect selfie. In 90 degree weather. With crazy hair!
Yes, who I am and what I do does have some focus on right and wrong or perfect and imperfect. I do regularly talk to my clients about the Dos and Don'ts of dating and relationships. In fact, just last week, I did another episode of ThursDATE with a colleague at Lisa Clampitt Matchmaking, in which we shared specific things that people should not talk about on first dates.
As a matchmaker, I regularly share my insight into what makes someone the right match for someone else--like I did for this teen in my column at The Teen Mentor here. By the way, this one simple piece of advice I give to this teen will totally help anyone of any age determine if their relationship is on the right track, but I digress...
Despite all of the above, I know feeling so pressured to figure out what is "right" and "wrong" isn't very rewarding. I have learned that we sometimes don't realize the true meaning of any life circumstances or relationships until way after the fact. Every now and then, in retrospect, what seems so wrong turns out to be so right.
When it comes to love, I wholeheartedly believe it is best not to stress yourself out worrying about everything that could go wrong. It is much more empowering to think: We'll cross that bridge when we get to it! Our love lives can be a mystery. To put it simply, once we are okay with that, we are on the "right" track!
Happy Date Night Y'all!
Whether you are out with someone special or at home on the couch-with or without that special someone- it is my hope that you are enjoying yourself. Life is too short not to fill it with all of your favorite things!
And by "things" I also mean people, experiences, and feelings that your crave...
Speaking of favorites, have you ever noticed how people just love to talk about their favorite things? Sure, it is human nature to crave novelty, but we are also creatures of habit with a penchant for our good ol' faves.
We "favorite" lots of things these days--from tweets, to phone contacts, to songs. When it comes to dating, we do everything from wearing our favorite-i.e. "lucky"-outfits on first dates, to frequenting our favorite date spots-sitting at our favorite table, where we order our favorite foods-throughout our relationship.
Since I think indulging in our favorites is good for the soul, I figured I'd take it upon myself to share sore of my favorites--for love lives.
My Favorite Question To Ask A Love Interest: Want to know my FAVORITE question to ask on a first date and why I love it so much? Well, I just filmed another episode of ThursDATE with Matchmaker, Lisa Clampitt, in which I reveal this question I always ask and suggest people ask.
You can watch this video which also offers more insight on dating and how I help matchmakers recruit singles with my new recruiting course that I have created and am teaching at Matchmaking Institute here.
My Favorite Thing To Do On A Free Weekend: Last week at this time, I was living it up in South Florida. I hopped on a plane for an impromptu holiday weekend with one of my best friends & fave travel buddies! If you are a single girl like me, please know that your love life reaps the benefits when you take such spontaneous getaways, because it raises your vibration! Also, you discover cool and important things. Like Angel Shots. And rubber duckies at pool parties!
Of course, if you are coupled, well, there's nothing like a change of scenery to get those sparks flying.....Who couldn't benefit from being a little spontaneous every now and then?
My Favorite Feeling When Looking At A Phone: Our mobile devices inspire a full range of emotions. And they are not all pleasant. Ask any girl who has waited more than twenty-four hours for his text!
Personally, when this becomes a routine behavior of my favorite guy, I want to punch him in the face! But since I am a loving, non-violent person, I settle for sending him a text with either a fist emoji, middle finger emoji, or "Really?" meme" couples a long, brutally honest message that lets him know he is walking on thin, thin ice.
ANYWAY, to end on on a positive note, this last favorite of mine is plain and simple...Its that feeling you get when HIS or HER name pops up on your phone! The one that leaves you grinning ear to ear.
Its love! My favorite thing that makes the world go round......
We all deserve love. In large doses. (Yes, even the guy who doesn't promptly respond to our texts!)
If its been a long time since you were caught in public smiling at your phone like an idiot, and you are ready to do something about it, I would like to hear from you. Please.
If you are ready to stop settling for less than you deserve, write me an email at Rachel@RachelRusso.com and tell me why you want to transform your love life!
PS: Alternately, you can schedule a complimentary Matchmaking + Dating/Relationship Consultation here and tell me your story in real time.