So you had some fun this summer. You worked a lot or a little. You visited some new places or sat home with your air conditioner. You met some interesting singles or the typical townies. You drank plenty of frozen margaritas on the beach or barely got tan lines.
You knew you were ready for a great relationship on Memorial Day Weekend and you know it even more as we approach Labor Day Weekend. Nevertheless, you are still single.
Don’t worry, there are a lot of singles out there in the same boat as you. The good news is the timing is right on. Now, more than ever, singles are looking to meet other singles just like you!
As the days get shorter and the nights get colder, people start realizing they’d rather curl up with someone else than sleep alone. They don’t want to be single for the holidays, and they know they need to start looking now. Because it’s kind of crazy to go on two dates and invite someone to meet the parents at Christmas Eve dinner, ya know?
When fall approaches, my dating coaching and matchmaking business starts booming. More and more singles approach me asking to set them up on dates. As we get into September, online dating subscriptions jump from ten to twenty percent. Strangers start emailing and asking me to make over their profiles. Immediately after Labor Day passes, the casual vibe of hooking up and dating in the summer disappears. Singles know it is time to say “peace out” to the flings and get down to the business of finding and keeping love.
If you are getting the idea that singles get a little more, umm, desperate for a relationship as summer ends, I won’t disagree with you! What I want you to know this Labor Day Weekend is this: Now is the best time and also the most difficult time to meet someone for a serious relationship. Right now, the supply and the demand are there. But your match options will soon dwindle if you don’t’ act fast.
Put yourself out there this weekend. Concerts, music festivals, arts fairs, pool parties, bbqs, brunches, historic parades, and the last days at the beach are all great ways to meet relationship-minded singles.
If you aren’t going away or don’t have many plans at home, get on some online dating sites. Create an online dating profile, start searching profiles of singles you’d like to meet, draft emails, and get ready to send them right after the holiday weekend. If online dating hasn't worked for you, there is a good chance you just aren't doing it well enough. It is worth a second or third try. Seriously.
Timing is everything when it comes to starting new relationships. And, you know what they say, there is no time like the present!
When do you think is the best time to find love? Leave your comments in the space below.
In the spirit of a happy and productive Labor Day, I am running a Labor Day Sale for singles on one of my dating coaching packages, Online Dating + Ghostwritten Glory. If you or someone you know is interested in receiving a ten percent discount on this potentially life-changing package, please email Rachel@RachelRusso.com with “Labor Day Sale” in the subject or text “Labor Day Sale” to 973 223 6406.
Thanks to the new TV show, Married at First Sight, I’ve been thinking a lot about arranged marriages lately.
Mostly, I think the average American single would be terrified by the notion of spending the rest of his or her life with a complete stranger.
Singles have so many decisions to make today as a result of all the options technology and modern day life presents. I'm confident many would enjoy being relieved of all the pressure in deciding how to select a life partner. The paradox of choice is, in part, a reason why a growing number of singles are outsourcing their love lives to matchmakers/coaches like yours truly. But, still, most singles want to be somewhat involved in the process of finding who they will spend the rest of their life with. They don’t want to meet their spouse on their wedding day and literally be married at first sight. Or do they?!
Surely, there are some out there who believe a strong and successful partnership could be the result of a marriage between two strangers. It is possible. For the record, I actually know a few non-American born couples who have been in an arranged marriage for decades. PS: They don’t appear to hate each other!
Considering all I know about relationships and marriage, I started wondering what type of person is most or least likely to be happy in an arranged marriage. Since I am a systemic thinker-largely because of the training in my Marriage & Family Therapy graduate program-my instinct was to look at this question through the lens of gender.
I pondered: Would men or women be worse off in an arranged marriage at first sight? Hmmmmm....
My vote: Sorry boys; it's the men who would be worse off.
How did I come to this conclusion?
I first considered the impact of physical attraction on marital happiness—which could never be guaranteed with an arranged marriage. Physical attraction isn’t as important for a woman, but it is crucial for a man's satisfaction in a relationship. A guy can grow on a woman--like a fungus, at times. Why hello there, ex-boyfriend. If he treats her right, she can grow to love his flaws. Even if a woman isn't initially attracted to the man she married at first sight, she can come to find him more attractive as the relationship progresses. A man's personality can make him sexy to a woman in a way that a woman’s personality can’t for a man. No matter how nice/smart/sweet/funny a woman is, if her husband is not sexually attracted to her, their relationship is over. They can stay married, but he will never be in love with her the way he would be if he chose to marry the woman he found super attractive. Of course, some couples could get lucky in terms of having that instant spark. Cortney and Jason on Married at First Sight, perhaps? With an arranged marriage at first sight, a guy is really just rolling the dice.
Next, I considered the dynamic that I believe is crucial to a relationship’s success: A man pursuing a woman who is a challenge. Call me a “Rules Girl” all you’d like, I shall wear that badge proudly. I wholeheartedly believe relationships are better when they are based on that old-fashioned courtship in which a man experiences the challenge of winning over a woman’s heart. Because men like that shit.
With an arranged marriage, a man does not have the chance to spot the woman he wants, muster up the courage to ask her out, work to win her over throughout the courtship process, and plan how he'll propose. Since I believe men value what they work for the most, I wonder if an arranged marriage makes a woman too “easy” in a guy’s mind. Is it just me or do happily married men beam when they talk about all the times their wife turned them down in the early stages of dating? No, I am not crazy: Men fall in love with women who initially don't give them the time of day. And they stay in love too. But if a man didn't have to work for a woman's affection, can he value the relationship in the same way as a man who did? He can come to value it, of course, if the couple are truly very compatible. If not, he may stay married, but he won't be in love. He'll just be....married.
That being said, most men probably shouldn't go around marrying strangers at first sight if they want a sustainable love. But for those up to the challenge: Mazel Tov! There will always be the man who is the exception to the rule.
What are your thoughts on arranged marriages? Do you think men or women would be worse off marrying at first sight? Leave your comments below.
Going through a breakup is kind of like getting off of a stopped train and moving on to a new one, unsure of how it'll get you where you want to go.
You can't look back to the train you are walking away from and second-guess yourself, thinking it might have actually moved you forward. You just have to keep going toward the new train.
A lot of times, people struggle with moving on--whether it was a choice they made or something life chose for them. They don't have strong, positive attitudes when they are sad, angry, emotional messes. If they want to heal their heart, they have to choose to be happy. The choice to be happy means taking action to get over the ex. The problem is most people have no idea how to really do so.
Since I know how difficult getting over an ex is from both personal and professional experiences, I decided to write a book that would give the newly-single a strategy for successfully handling the pain of a broken relationship. And I gave it a little Italian American flavor, since that's what I know best! As you may know, my second book, How To Get Over Your Ex A Step By Step Guide To Mend A Broken Heart Italian American Style,was published in March and is available on Amazon, Barnesandnoble.com, Booklocker.com, iTunes, and Kobo in both eBook and paperback. I am thrilled to announce that it was just confirmed that my book will also be sold at The BookMark Shoppe in my new neighborhood, Bay Ridge, NY.
To celebrate the book's launch plus my upcoming birthday, I am hosting a Book Signing/Birthday Soiree on Saturday, October 18th for anyone who has an ex, might have an ex, is Italian American, wishes they were Italian American, or can care less about being Italian American and just likes good books, booze, and birthday celebrations!
Publishing this book has meant a lot to me, and I would I truly appreciate if you can support me by attending this special occasion. Of course, you can also share this blog post with anyone who would like to attend. It is my mission to help people get over their past relationships and find a healthier, happier, love in the future. I look forward to promoting this book to the masses and creating personalized coaching programs for the special few who'd like to work with me during their life transition.
Speaking of life: It is just too short to be brokenhearted. Please come out and enjoy yours on Saturday, October 18th, from 6-10PM in Bay Ridge, NY.
The book signing party will take place from 6-7PM at The BookMark Shoppe and will start with a fifteen minute presentation that will include my reading of an excerpt from the book. The after-party will be held directly after the signing at the sexy and comfy Delia's Lounge & Restaurant, which is a short walk from The BookMark Shoppe. Delia's is located at 9224 3rd Ave, Brooklyn, NY 11209 on the corner of 93rd Street. There will be a cash bar at Delia's with complimentary hors d'oeuvres. The full menu will also be available. Please RSVP to Rachel@RachelRusso.com by September 18, 2014.
Cheers to La Dolce Vita!
Hey, New York! I might be a shiksah, but I can show you how to snag the heart of a Hebrew hottie!
Whether you are the girl looking for the good husband who’d make your grandmother proud or the guy who wants his wife material to be down for Shabbat Dinner with the fam, I've got you covered.
After nine years of working in the matchmaking/dating coaching industry in NYC, Jew know I can teach you a thing or
two about how to find and keep love with a nice Jewish boy or girl!
If you are single and looking for someone who shares your culture and faith, come on out to
meet me after work this Thursday, August 14th at Midtown 1015. I am ready to spill all my secret tips on how to navigate the Jewish singles scene and tell you what my Jewish clients are really looking for in a match!
Yes, I was recently asked to be a special guest at this upcoming Jewish Singles Event, also known as A Midsummer Night's Party, which is hosted by HurryDate, Jdate, and my friend, David Shapiro.
Cliff Notes: The event is for Jewish singles in their 20's, 30's, and 40's and takes place from 7pm-11pm. I will be there mixing and mingling with guests. Feel free to ask me any questions about dating and relationships. I am also available to facilitate introductions. And, if you want
me to be your wing girl, just, ya know….Challah!
(Sorry, I couldn’t resist!)
For more details and to purchase your ticket at a discounted rate online,
please check out http://davidshapiro.net/events/midsummerparty2014#.U-lYovfD8hk.
If you can’t make the event but would like to chat about how I can help you find love as your modern day Yenta and female Hitch, please send me an email at Rachel@RachelRusso.com
One thing I know to be true: Off-Broadway shows, like sushi and online dating profiles, are not all created equal.
While my own acting career ended after high school, I have since honed my talent for recognizing which shows get a thumbs up and which shows one should not get out of bed for.
50! Shades The Musical, which I saw yesterday at The Elektra Theater at Times Square Arts Center with my (cool) mom, gets my stamp of approval. I recommend this “original parody of the Greatest Novel Ever Written” to just about anyone. (Note: Reading the book is not a pre-requisite for enjoying the musical, but the musical may fill you with a strong desire to see the soon-to-premiere-movie!) I think the play is especially great for: Bachelorette parties, Girls Nights Out, Date Night for open-minded couples, Date Night for couples who need to open their minds, and, of course, all men and women with a penchant for raunch!
Wondering if you should go see it? I'd say give it a whirl if:
You like a ROFL-good time. It’d be hard not to enjoy this show with the witty song lyrics, clever script, and heavy dose of double entendres. And who doesn’t like to be rolling on the floor laughing until their stomach hurts? Even if you don’t find the show as hilarious as yesterday’s audience did, you are sure to appreciate the music. The actors have amazingly powerful voices and some of the scantily-clad dancers are bonafide eye candy! In the lobby, they sell alcohol and sex toys. ‘Nuff said.
You are down to (re) discover your own unique level of prude or kink. Yes, boys and girls, this show is ripe with opportunity for learning more about your own sexuality. With actors that simulate sex right in front of your face and language that would make a Sex-ed teacher blush, there are scenes that will either make you raise an eyebrow or want to try something new at home. As the female protagonist, Anastasia, sings “We’re just like any other couple,” while tied up, you’ll be forced to confront your own views on dominance and submissiveness in sexual relationships. Warning: The feminist in you may find some of this hard to stomach, but it's really not that bad to watch. The fact that it will show you more about what you like and dislike in the bedroom is a good thing
You like to see the underdog on top. Maybe even literally. Pun intended! All jokes aside, the male protagonist, Christian Grey, gets the girl. In the book and movie, he may not seem like the underdog, because he is actually a billionaire; but he’s the underdog in the sense that he comes from an abusive past. In the musical parody, he’s the average-looking, slightly effeminate, awkward, sweaty dude with a protruding belly. In other words, he looks more like the guy who’d be friend-zoned than the alpha male who’d dominate a sweet, innocent, relationship-oriented beauty. Yet, she falls in love with him. If you root for the underdog, you’ll fall in love with Christian too! Even if you are totally against anything BDSM, watching him perform “I Don’t Make Love, I F**k,” will probably make you want to buy him a beer.
Have you seen 50! Shades The Musical? What are you own top three reasons to see the show? Share your comments about this blog post below.
To check out 50 SHADES THE MUSICAL, The Original Parody of Fifty Shades of Grey, use my discounted code "LSP49"
ONLINE:Click here https://web.ovationtix.com/trs/pr/930808/prm/LSP49 and use code LSP49
BY PHONE: call 866-811-4111, and mention code LSP49
IN PERSON: Go to the The Elektra Theatre at The Times Square Arts Center, 300 W. 43rd St and mention code LSP49