Is this guy ****ing kidding me?
That's the question that went through my mind when I first saw the photo of my client's potential match.
I was helping her manage her online dating account and getting ready to draft a personalized message of introduction-as I have done so many times before-when I came across the latest Internet dating horror.
The guy put up a photo of him and his ex and decided to "X" out his ex's face with a heart.
Not. Feeling. That. One. Bit.
Like.....learn to crop a photo, dude.
So, yeah, the heart doesn't make this cute. And this guy isn't getting lucky in love.
And neither are the other guys who are doing this. Apparently this is a thing, because I have seen it recently on Bumble before too....
But who is getting lucky these days?
This St. Patrick's Day, as I worked from home while recovering from an upper respiratory infection that has left me a bit MIA- so sorry I been slacking with my writing here- I contemplated what it takes for people to get lucky in love.
I decided that there is a common denominator: Those who are lucky in love are authentic. They tell the truth about who they are and what they want out of dating and relationships. They share their innermost drum roll, please feelings with their (potential) significant other.
What I am saying is: You want your pot of gold? Well you have to show 'em how you really feel.
Unless, of course, you feel like putting a heart over your ex's face on Match.com, in which case you should just step away from the online dating site!
If you don't want to waste your precious time, money, and emotions on people who don't feel the same way that you do, you need to get vulnerable and get vulnerable fast.
I know it can be uncomfortable. Trust me--relationship expert status aside-I wasn't always so good at sharing feelings with the men I dated. That goes for both positive and negative feelings.
And now? They text me something that doesn't jive with me - like "K" or "Alright" after i just vented/poured my heart out-you better believe I will have nooo problem letting them hear it!
But let's play nice.....
No doubt, it can be even more scary to share the positive, warm, and mushy feelings. It can make you feel nauseous--especially if you are in love with someone and suspect it is unrequited. In fact, this is exactly when you need to share your truth--like your life depended on it. Because, maybe it does.
How do you do it?
You tell him them you miss them after the breakup.
You say "I love you" even when you are scared they might not say it back.
You make a grand gesture with a gift or a trip or a Times Square billboard that reads "Will you marry me?"
Okay, let's hold off on the billboard.......
For now, just realize that telling the truth will put you down a lucky path in love. It may not work right away. You may remain single for years. Or your partner might not want to hear it. There will be bumps along the way, but telling the truth is still worth it!
Because, remember, there is nothing lucky about living in a fantasy world that will all come crashing down and result in an image of your face blacked out in someone's online profile, photo album, or mind.
So, tell the truth. Today.