Human beings are often creatures of habit.
We sit in the same spot in the auditorium every time there is a conference, follow the same "order" when completing everyday tasks like taking a shower, and go to the same cafe for our daily cup of Joe. Really?! Who am I? Did I just say daily cup of Joe?!
Without a doubt-and even though it can sometimes bore us-we like routine. We are comfortable with the familiar. We like being in relationships with those whom we have established a comfortable dynamic--even if it is sometimes uncomfortable.
Let's face it: Romantic relationships can get uncomfortable! They often include: Two people with two different sets of expectations. Two different personalities. Two different ways of communicating. Two different ways of fighting. Two different ways of loving.
You never know what kind of ride you are really in for until you start the journey. Even those who seem predictable in the beginning can turn out to say and do things you would have never imagined. The "nice" ones can turn into jerks. The calm, cool, and collected ones can get "crazy" when the magic combination of buttons are pressed.
You never know who or what could interfere with your relationship. Or what weird things could happen during sex! You really just never know how the story will end....
What you could do is be an active participant in creating and maintaining your relationship. It starts with doing what I suggested last week: Getting over your past, not hardening your heart, and choosing love.
How would your life be different if you could put love on autopilot? What if it was as natural as you following your daily routine? What if you were so programmed to love that you could respond differently to your date or your partner when he/she did something that would normally trigger a negative response and annoy the hell out of you?
I think things could be different and relationships could be better if you set your intention to love--no matter what.
Okay, maybe there are some times that you can't love. I am not saying that you put up with abuse, neglect, or anything that's super-unhealthy for you. I am just saying: How could would it be if your mind, body, and spirit could automatically drift to love.
Give it a try, and let me know how it goes, and have a happy Memorial Day while you are at it!