Yeah, I know what you are thinking: I would have liked to have a breakup bonfire!
It seems sooo California though. Do people actually do this on the NYC beaches? (By the way, sorry to be so New York-centric, I know NYC isn’t always the center of The Universe for everyone!)
Confession: I never heard of a breakup bonfire until a sassy, blonde-haired writer by the name of Amy-Rose Lane contacted me with an article she wrote, titled “ 5 Fierce Ways To Get Over A Breakup”.
Being a fierce female who has done her share of coaching people through breakups-more so since I published my second book, How To Get Over Your Ex: A Step By Step Guide To Mend A Broken Heart Italian American Style- I had to check out her breakup advice.
Much to my delight, Lane’s advice is on point and in line with some of the things I’d suggest to anyone suffering from a broken heart. And breakup bonfires as a means of “complete extermination” from your ex? Brilliant!
Seriously, read her article now. If she doesn’t have you at breakup bonfire, she’ll definitely have you at “prime pillow real estate”.
So, about that prime pillow real estate….............
If you had a recent breakup and are looking to get back into the dating game to, umm, fill your vacancy, the struggle is real.
As I know from my professional experience working with singles for the last ten years in the dating & matchmaking industry, as well as from my own post-split- reality-date-a-thon as Ms New York of 3six5dates.com, moving forward usually isn't easy.
With that in mind, I am doing a live Q & A webinar on Monday, July 27th, at 9PM EST on the topic “ What To Expect When You Start Dating Again” for members of Exaholics.com.
Want to join us? Just visit the site and sign up. Unless of course you have a bonfire to get ready for!
Did you get back into the dating game after a breakup? What did you find most challenging about it? Leave your comments below.
It was Alexander Graham Bell who first said: "When one door closes, another opens."
I'm sure you know someone who truly believes in that theory, but do you believe it?
When it comes to love lives, I never fully believed it.......until it happened to me. After all, I had closed the door on my ex and even wrote a book about it, but I didn't see any doors opening for me.
Not for what seemed like a long time.
Not until I was fully ready to move on and let a new love in.
And, then, as if God and The Universe teamed up to play a trick on me, my ex came back. Again. And Again. And Again.
Even though I didn't get back together with him or really even see him, in my heart, I hadn'tfully let go.
I thought I was doing all the right things. Blocking him on social media. Refusing to go to the bars he frequents. Making attempts to "put myself out there" and meet new men.
Why wasn't a new door opening?
It seemed very unfair at the time, but, in retrospect, I figured out the reason.
You see, for a long time, no new door was opening for me, because even though I closed that old door with my ex, it was still open--just a crack. And, fyi, it sometimes wasn't even just one ex. It was several exes. Not to brag, but it seems like they all come crawling back at times!
With each ex, there was still a bit of light left. It was that glimmer of hope that maybe this time he changed, and things would be different.
But he didn't change. Because, people don't change. (Unless, they really want to change. And, for the most part, you should let the past go to voicemail when it calls, because it really has nothing new to say.)
Trust me, when you hold on to the notion that you may be able to rekindle a past relationship, you do not attract a new relationship.
But soon after you really let it go, you attract more than you ever imagined.
We are talking five-dates-with-five-new-guys-in-six-days-and-I-need-a-spreadsheet-to-keep-track-of-them-level-of- attraction!
If only you, too, realized the secret to attracting abundance was to let go of the people who no longer you serve you, you'd be as happy as I was when I realized a new door finally opened.
Need help letting go of the past and opening a new door? Contact me today at Rachel@RachelRusso.com about a new private coaching program I am creating for singles who are truly ready to transform their love lives.
Want to know one of the biggest, most frequently told lies?
This one has nothing to do with pharmaceutical companies, politicians, or sugar-loaded, processed foods trying to pass for “natural”. It has everything to do with two simple words that are frequently uttered by women (and in all fairness, men) of all ages, races, and ethnic backgrounds. Perhaps, you’ve heard them. They go something like this:
“But, really, I am totally okay with the fact that he’s cheated on me fifteen times in the last six months. No marriage is perfect. We love each other and are working on our relationship.”
When what you really mean is:
“I’m settling for a relationship that I don’t deserve, but I will put up with this mistreatment and the false hope that my husband will change so I don’t have to go through the pain and inconvenience of divorce.”
Keeping up appearances is not all fun and games. Just ask Ben Affleck & Jennifer Garner!
The part that’s really the pits: When you start to believe your own lies.
Now is the point in which I ask you to get honest. Is the story of your life that you are currently writing a work of fiction? Or are you keeping it real?
It’s 2015, and in case you are living under a rock, there’s no need to “fake it til ya make it” when it comes to your love life, because now even gay people can get married in every state! (And, don’t read me wrong, I am very happy that our country has come to their senses about that, but I digress…)
There’s (arguably) no need to…
Pretend you like girls when you like boys.
Smile when he makes you want to cry.
Stay married just for the kids……And the list goes on and on.
It’s almost the 4th of July, and that is always a good time to talk about freedom. Freedom is something you can exercise in your love life. Whether the freedom to say goodbye to your ex or to say just what’s on your mind. The freedom to listen to your gut and to follow your heart.
Because when it comes to love, nothing is better than the real thing.