Oftentimes, we are scared to ask questions.
Whether they are the silly questions like the ones that guy always asked in your college class, the ones I am asked when I do media interviews, or the tough questions you ask yourself before you go to bed at night: Asking makes us feel vulnerable.
Other times, we ask for advice when we already have the answers. In hearing the opinions of others, we learn that we should really just listen to ourself. Because, deep down, we have the answers.
Sometimes, when a relationship ends, we realize this. We see that the red flags were there all along. We just didn't want to listen to that voice inside our head. While we must listen to our head in love and life-or watch it all turn into a nightmare-we must also listen to our heart.
Because, when you don't listen to your heart.....well that's when you really miss out!
Want something else to listen to?! Last week, I appeared as a guest on The Two Minutes For Instigating Podcast with the guys pictured above at Gotham Studios in NYC. You can have a listen to my episodes: #34 "Lookin For Love" and #35 "Ride or Die"--live on all platforms, including YouTube, Spotify, Soundcloud, GooglePlay, iTunes, and ApplePodcasts. Disclaimer: Silly "Guy Humor" ahead....
Falling In Love
If you're contemplating how to be more productive in the last three months of the year, I highly recommend falling in love. Trust me: You want love. Sometimes, you even need love, because there are going to be days or weeks where everything feels challenging and icky. With the weight of the world on your shoulders, you really appreciate being with someone you love who truly cares for you.
When it comes to falling in love, there are some things that are beyond your control. That's why they call it "falling"! And, no, there isn't a fool-proof method for making anyone fall in love with you. Yet, there is so much that you can do to stack the cards in your favor. Check out the following suggestions, and learn three ways that you can fall in love this fall.
Make self-care your top priority. You attract a happy and healthy relationship when you are in a positive state. If you make finding love your sole focus in life-and you struggle to find it-you are unfulfilled. Not to mention a boring date! Taking care of your health and well-being starts with the physical, but it shouldn't stop there. Surround yourself with the people and things that make your heart smile. When you follow your bliss, you are much more attractive to potential suitors.
Express gratitude daily. Developing a true sense of gratitude for what you have in your life makes you feel better--both physically and mentally. It also boosts relationship satisfaction! As Dr. John Gottman's research shows, married couples who have more positive interactions are less likely to divorce. You don't have to be married to see how gratitude is beneficial to your love life. Whether you are a few dates in or have been seeing your partner for months, focusing on the things you like about him or her-as opposed to those that annoy you- can go a long way.
Show vulnerability.You won't fall into real love unless you be the real you! Put all your cards on the table. It can be scary to share who you really are and express all of your emotions with someone you are really interested in. Rejection is always a possibility. But, you must take that risk to get the reward. Your partner will appreciate your authenticity and take it as an invitation to show their own authentic self.
Go to the spa.
Stay in when you are tired.
Start that gratitude journal.
Even, ugly cry.
Fall in love this fall!