As a woman dating and relating in this crazy modern day world of relationships-as well as a love industry expert- I am intimately acquainted with the notion that some men just need owner's manuals on how to understand and operate us ladies! If you ever scratched your head and thought-OMG! He just doesn't get me- you are not alone.
With 2017 quickly approaching, I have more and more female clients and friends telling me that they want to make this year their year. I want to tell them to join the club, as I know they are in good company!
I actually think every woman should write a letter to her future husband, because if there is one thing I know about men for sure, it is that they can not read our minds! In the spirit of inspiring women to be straightforward about what they want with men-and inviting my own future husband to figure me the hell out-I have written the following:
Dear Future Husband: 17 Fun Facts To Help You "Get" Me--For 2017
1. I am really not as intimidating as most men imagine me to be.
2. But.... I'm not for the faint of heart either!
3. I'm a bonafide girly girly and can really use a strong man to carry my bags, kill bugs, occasionally add a key to my keychain, and regularly open jars of tomato sauce.
4. Mhhm. I am Italian-American and make a mean eggplant lasagna!
5. Speaking of which, if you do me wrong you better watch out! You might just end up in my next book. Just kidding! Kind of.
6. Seriously though, I love to write! I kept journals since age 11. They may come in handy if anyone ever decides to produce my E!True Hollywood Story.
7. Becoming famous was never my life goal. I could see myself enjoying the perks, but I mostly just want to have marriage, babies, and some good champagne in my life.
8. I really like to travel too! My "vacation personality" is off the hook! But please note: I am weirdly obsessed with trying to prevent jet lag.
9. I do like my eight hours of sleep. I am proud to say that I transformed myself into a morning person thanks to Starbucks iced green tea and AM workouts at the gym.
10. Want to know what I will never say "no" to? Dark chocolate, red wine, and a day at the spa!
11. I mentioned booze twice, but I am not a big drinker. I am much too health-conscious and driven for that. So sometimes I might actually say "no" to red wine.
12. Not going to lie: People who break dance on the subway make me very nervous.
13. Yes, I take the subway. But after a date, I prefer you put me in an Uber or drive me home. If you ever want to see me again, you should probably wait until I get inside before driving away.
14. Most people who meet me say that I'm very sweet. They find me refreshingly down to earth. I am the type who can make friends with (almost) anyone.
15. I will always want to look hot for my man!
16. But I can't stand men who routinely objectify me. So. Stop. Asking. Me. For. Sexy. Pics. Every 2.5 Mins. If you do, I'll quickly lose respect for you.
17. I might get a little crazy. But only if I really love your @$$. So I hope you can really love me too!
Want to write a letter to your future husband? I'd love to read it. Send it over to me at Rachel@RachelRusso.com today!
When my male friends ask me to see Sci-Fi or Action movies, nine times out of ten, I say: NO THANK YOU!
While I totally support women who defy gender stereotypes and choose these type of films over my beloved chick flicks, they just don't do it for me.
In a lot of ways, I'm a girly girl. Like many other girly girls, I want a man who can take that masculine role and make me feel special. In fact, I believe that failing to make a woman feel special is one of the biggest mistakes that men make in their love life. For more on this, check out my insight in the recently published article, 27 Dating Experts Reveal The #1 Mistake That Men Make That Absolutely Kills Their Success With Women.
And. now, back to the movies......
When it comes to movies, drama, comedies-especially romantic comedies-and documentaries-particularly those involving psychological or social issues-are my jam! A male friend recently tried to convince me to go see Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them with him, and I simply could not find it in my heart of hearts to do it. Instead, I suggested that he go with others in our group of friends, and I'd meet them before for dinner. When he told me to expand my tastes because guys like these kind of movies and will want to take me, I laughed and replied that they could go with their guy friends. I sincerely meant that!
While I think that sharing common interests is important for a couple's long term happiness, I know that it is not necessary for romantic partners share all the same interests. Variety is the spice of life, and when you have different hobbies and passions, you have something unique to bring into the relationship. Conversation will be that much more interesting.
Surely a partner wanting to talk about or-God Forbid-take me to a sci-fi movie every now and then is not a deal breaker. But if he expects me to sit through something I dislike on the regular, I might have to say that I hope the door doesn't hit him on the way out. Yes, we make sacrifices for love, and I've fully appreciated all of my boyfriends past who suffered through chick flicks-including Fifty Shades of Grey-but I wouldn't regularly expect them to partake in such girly activities. I have girl friends for that. And I want my boyfriends to have guy friends to share all of those that I'd rather not do with them.
Ultimately, no one should make a habit of doing what they really don't want to do. Not only can this create resentment in a relationship, but it is bad for our soul. It is an energy drain. If we are single, we should do things that raise our frequency so that we attract someone at the same frequency. If we are coupled, we want to keep doing the activities that keep you in a positive energy.
What do you think?
The United States Of America is so divided right now.
Never before in my lifetime have I seen so many people who have been so pushy about their views on who would make the best president, as well as their negative perception of those voting for the opposite candidate.
My friends are losing dozens of Facebook friends by posting their educated opinions on their page. My family members are feuding. My colleagues are seriously depressed--though my office did brighten up a little with this pleasant surprise.
There are protesters throughout my city. People everywhere are still cranky from getting less than the coveted eight hours of sleep on election night. They have no tolerance for others expressing sadness about the results of this unprecedented election. They are telling others to move on and get over it.
But people aren't getting over it. They are screaming at police. Burning flags. Creating chaos....
As if that was the answer....
With all of the frustration, ignorance, hatred, and divide that came to a head this week, it seems that a lot of people around me could use a bit of love right about now. Yesterday was a sad day for many here in NYC--bare with me for a minute if you are still celebrating.
Today, New Yorkers, Americans, and citizens around the world are reluctantly coming to terms with the idea that this crude, highly unqualified, racist, sexist, unethical, orange-spray-tanned man known as Donald Trump is going to be the president of The United States of America. Though many of them also thought that Hillary Clinton was anything from a flawed human being to completely corrupt criminal, they didn't actually think he would win. Yeah, I'm with them.
Although the point of my message is not to rant on about my shock, disappointment, or fears about how backward this country may be going, I can't help express this sentiment.
Like. Donald. Really?!!!
To be clear, I am not just annoyed that we were thisclose to having a female president.
Though I would love to see a lady running the White House-as I've made clear in a recent Facebook status-I wouldn't vote for a woman just because she is a woman.
However, I can't help but notice that this is, in part-on the most basic level-just another story of a highly qualified woman losing a job to a highly unqualified male.
Mostly, I am concerned about the future of our nation. I *hope* I am proven wrong!
I admit that I didn't really want to accept this whole Donald thing that seems like one bad reality show after another. Just like I didn't want to accept the fact that I had to get over my ex. But you know what? I did. I even wrote a book about it and made some cash! And then I got over another ex.....
That's life. Sometimes, we must surrender to what we can't control. We can mourn and grieve--and very well should. But then, there comes to a point in which we have to put on our big girl/boy panties and move the hell on on.
Yup. That's exactly what this nation must do: Heal our hearts. Come together. And move forward. United and stronger than ever before.