Dates are a dime a dozen these days. Do you really need to waste another hour of your life having drinks with someone you’ll never want to see again?
Someone who lied. About height. Weight. Age. Marital Status. Or some other gross misrepresentation.
Do you have it in you to get excited about the prospect of a relationship with someone who just swiped “yes” on Tinder because they wanted to pass some time before going shopping for cleaning products at Walmart?
Someone who didn’t get her hair blown out. Someone who will show up for your date in the same black pants he wore to the office for the past three days.
Someone who would meet you and then immediately contact their best friend with the obligatory post-date-“On to the next- text before you even made it back to your doorstep.
Can we please stop the madness?!
Stop going on all these silly dates that will never lead to relationships, and start figuring out a better way to get into the relationship you want.
You can begin by getting the online dating thing down. Because as much as you hate it, it is still one of the best, most efficient ways for you to meet qualified prospects. IF you know what you are doing. And with all due respect, nine out of ten of you don’t have a clue as to what you are doing online.
In an effort to help singles like you and those you know properly market themselves, screen candidates, and exponentially increase the chances of finding a match online, I am participating in a Summer Auction for Mental Fitness, Inc.
If you want to treat yourself to a priceless Online Dating Consultation + some Ghostwritten Glory while supporting a good cause, place your bid here. The auction closes Sunday, so get on this. Like bees to honey.
Secondly, for the love of God, quit your gig as a serial dater! Instead, invest the time you would have spent on boring dates into relationship resources that you can listen to, watch, and read.
Resources that will hit you with the cold, hard truth as to why you are really single, as well as provide you with the insight to change your patterns and attract an amazing relationship.
This week, I have two totally free, fantastic relationship resources for you.
Exhibit A: My recent video interview from the Love Out Loud Summit. It is filled with helpful advice on how you can fight back against the horrible dating scene and take a stand to get the love you want—Italian American Style. Watch it here anytime.
Exhibit B: My upcoming interview on Celestial Space Talk Radio Show with Marleny Cruz, this Saturday from 12-1PM EST. I will be in the studio with Marleny giving up all the secrets to singles and couples who want healthy, happy, relationships. Call in at 973 925 4559. See the flyer for more details or visit http://www.healthandwellnessddv.com/.
So, yeah. Hope you’ll check me out on video and radio this week. The experience just might be more fun than your last date….
Do you agree that any old date is the last thing you need? Tell me what you’d rather have in the comments below.
A serial dater, as per Urban Dictionary, is commonly defined as “one who engages in the process of systematically dating an obscene amount of people in a short span of time”.
Chances are you know a serial dater or two-- especially if you live in a big city. Perhaps, thanks to dating apps like Tinder and online dating sites like Match.com, you are even a serial dater. If so, reading this blog post might even feel a bit like looking in the mirror. If you are wondering if you are dating a serial dater, don’t worry there will be plenty of clues—typically in texts like this:
As you can imagine, being a Dating & Relationship Coach as well as a Matchmaker in NYC for almost a decade, I’ve encountered plenty of serial daters. There was even a time that some might’ve considered me a serial dater; but I really wasn’t. Sure I went on ninety-two dates and blogged about them as Ms. New York of 3six5dates.com, but in reality I was just acting as an investigative journalist doing a social research experiment. And ya know, just being a girl looking for a boy to love her. So now that we’ve got that cleared up, allow me to share three truths I’ve observed about people who date a lot.
Disclaimer: These truths don’t necessarily apply to all serial daters. However, from my experience, they apply to most. So don’t kill the messenger, I’m just relaying the messages I’ve observed.
Serial daters have got issues. We’ve all got issues, and serial daters are no exception. Most serial daters are trying to fill a void. Whether they feel empty because they haven’t found anyone to replace an ex, are terribly lonely, or are just bored at work, they date to distract themselves from their pain. And if they don’t feel any emptiness? Well, they are usually either commitment phoebes, people who are unrealistic about the dating process, or perfectionists chasing after a relationship or person that doesn’t exist. Of course, many serial daters are in denial about all of these issues—which is in itself a whole other issue.
Serial daters don’t take any one person seriously. The culture of modern day dating provides singles with more date options than they could ever really need. Serial daters are overwhelmed by those options and often won’t make plans until the last minute for fear that something better may come along if they do. Serial daters think having all these options is good and normal. I don’t really blame them, because these days it seems like nearly everyone has the potential to become a serial dater. Even Andy Cohen is on Tinder! And then there was that “more is better” commercial we all have ingrained in our psyche…
Nugget of Truth: People who go on a half a dozen or more dates per week are usually more caught up in dating for sport than dating to find real love. Serial daters are consuming so much quantity that they fail to see the quality right in from of them. This is why they want to meet you after exchanging three text messages. This is why they text you instead of calling you in the first place. This is why they have “exit strategies” for their first dates—i.e. the drinks, dinners, and brunches which hardly ever lead to seconds.
Serial daters aren’t so nice when they don’t want to see you anymore. Not only does the average serial dater lack the time to respond to all the messages in his or her dating site inbox, he or she doesn’t even have the energy to stick out a date that they aren’t feeling. That’s right, the serial dater is the person who will think nothing of cutting a date short. They aren’t dating to make friends, so don’t be surprised if they don’t want to stick around when they aren’t feeling romantic chemistry. They don’t feel like they owe you any explanation afterward either. So you can forget about that post-date-thank-you-text. They certainly won’t tell you why they won’t be going out with you out again. They’ve dated so many people who have never told them and this often makes them bitter and jaded. (Dating Rule #989: The more you date, the more jerks and crazies you encounter.) So serial daters wonder why should they should be nice to you if they don’t want anything to do with you. After all, to the serial dater, whatever you shared was just another meaningless date. Cue to the fade away…..
And, well, on to the next one.
Have you found these observations about serial daters to be true? Are you a serial dater yourself? How did you become one? Should serial daters reform their ways to find real love? Please share your comments here.