Is a Lack of Community Keeping People Single?

Are you or someone you know feeling stuck in the world of dating today? Do you believe all of this swiping, messaging, and attending events today typically results in…nothing to write home about? You wouldn’t be alone there.

The truth is, dating in 2025 looks very different from how it did in the past—and not just because of technology. While we’ve seen huge advances in matchmaking tools, social apps, and online platforms, there's one key element that many singles are missing in today’s world: community.

In the past, singles found potential matches through naturally occurring opportunities—whether through family, friends, or events in their local neighborhoods. It was simple: you were exposed to a variety of people, and dating was a natural extension of those relationships. If you liked someone, you had the chance to see them repeatedly, get to know them, and develop a deeper connection over time.

But today, many of us are living in a very different reality. We’re isolated. We're working remotely. We’re far from our families and friends. We're caught up in our busy, individual lives. The result? Fewer opportunities to meet new people in organic ways. And, unfortunately, those one-off chance encounters that used to spark new connections are becoming rarer and rarer.

Here’s the thing: dating shouldn’t be about waiting for a magical, serendipitous moment. No one’s life is the set of a romantic comedy! Dating successfully is about building a community—one where you can repeatedly meet, interact with, and connect with like-minded people. That’s how relationships grow: from repeated exposure and shared experiences.

This past weekend, I took my daughter to her first book signing! We came out to support my fellow matchmaking colleague, author, mama, and Jersey Girl, Maria Avgitidis, on the publication of her first book, Ask A Matchmaker!  After hearing Maria read an excerpt  at Barnes & Noble in Bridgewater, I can confidently say this book is not just another “find your person” pep talk filled with recycled advice.


This one hits different — in the best way. And one of the reasons it does? Because it incorporates this very idea of singles needing to build a community to find their match! I was glad to read the book and see that Maria emphasizes the importance of cultivating an environment where connections can be made over time—whether that’s through local groups, hobbies, clubs, or even by joining a sports league. I truly believe the key is to step outside of your own bubble and engage with people consistently. 

Community doesn’t have to mean huge social gatherings or constant events, either. Whew. That'd be exhausting! It can be as simple as finding a group that shares your interests, whether that’s through an online forum like the Facebook group “East Coast Solo Moms Looking For High Caliber Men" -that I created last year- or a regular in-person gathering. The goal is to get out of your individual routine and into spaces where new people—and potential matches—are part of the landscape.

So, how can you start building community today to match yourself or help match singles you know? The possibilities are endless, but here are a few ideas to get you started:

Explore local interest groups: Whether it’s a hiking group, a book club, or a cooking class, joining a group that aligns with your passions can help you meet people naturally.

Attend social events more frequently: Even if you’re not in the mood, say yes to parties, meetups, and networking events. You never know when the next great connection will happen, so your motto should be: You get invited, you go! (I think one of my matchmaker friends’ happily-married grandmas lived by that too!)

Volunteer in your community: Not only will you be giving back, but you’ll also meet people who share your values.

Embrace technology differently: Instead of swiping endlessly, focus on joining online communities and virtual events that allow you to engage with people over time.

Dating in 2025 doesn’t need to feel frustrating or like a never-ending cycle of swiping. By building and nurturing a supportive, diverse community around you, you’ll naturally increase your chances of meeting someone who’s a great match for you. And if you don’t? Well, I might know a fab matchmaker and dating coach who could help introduce you to singles from her community!Or help you build your own! Yes, that’s me, and if you are not in the NYC tri-state area that I serve, I can refer you to an esteemed colleague who is.

Remember: The more people you meet, the more likely you are to find the one who clicks.  It’s all about the power of consistent exposure and connection. And who knows? Your next great love story might just begin in a place you least expect.

So go out, get involved, and build your community. If you’d like help, just reach out here. Your love life will thank you for it.