Make time for love… but don’t force it

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about timing—especially when it comes to love. A friend in NYC used to say, “If you don’t make time for love, love won’t make time for you.”   He’s now happily married, with three kids, living in a beautifully renovated house in the suburbs. And honestly? He’s not wrong.   Love does require space. It requires intention. You do have to show up for it in some way.  

But -being in the matchmaking industry-I also see plenty of people who have taken that idea and ran a little too far with it.   Swipe culture has turned it into pressure. Into urgency with matches expiring if you don’t reply. Into this feeling that if we are not constantly doing something about our love lives, we’re somehow falling behind.   What if that’s not true?

What if your only mission-should you choose to accept it-is to make space for love-whether now or in the future… without dating like its your job?   To stay open, but not obsessed. To put yourself out there, but not overextend.   And also to do the thing that I personally learned the hard way: To stop over-functioning in relationships that should have ended a long time ago.  

Because here’s something I’ve seen over and over again—in my work, and in my own life:   Timing matters more than people want to admit.   Sometimes, it’s just not your time yet. Not because something is wrong with you.   Because your life took a different path.  

Which brings me to something personal I have shared with friends.  

After at least fifteen years of TV production companies and reality producers reaching out to me…

After countless interviews (yes—Skype, Google Hangouts, Zoom), sending photos, recording videos, even filming with colleagues and friends…  

After reading contracts and deciding not to sign my life away…  

After being told I was “chosen” for pilots that never happened…  

After long stretches of not hearing back…  

After, honestly, reaching a point where I truly didn’t care about being involved in TV at all…  

Something unexpected happened.   I was contacted again—and this time, it felt different. And now I recently started consulting for a dating documentary. It is a lot of fun and I will likely be on it too, and, that’s all I can say about that. (Because.. NDA’s!)  

But to bring my point home:   People always say, “Don’t give up on your dreams.” I don’t fully agree.   I think you’re allowed to let things go. To shift. To outgrow what once felt important. Because I did.   And yet—what was meant for me still found me. At the right time. In a way that actually feels aligned, fun, and easy. And I think the same thing will happen for me finding lasting love—which I also couldn’t care less about personally at the moment. (Because…solo mom life: Priorities. Transformation. Content!)  
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​But if you are desiring a relationship, yes—make time for love. But don’t force it. Don’t chase it.   Enjoy the season you’re in and know that when it is your time: It is your time!