My grandmother turned eighty-nine yesterday. As my cousin said, she is "eighty-nine and looking fine"!
On the way to her surprise birthday dinner, she asked my aunt where all the time went. As the saying goes, time does seem to fly by.
Unless, of course, you are wasting it. Because when you are wasting it in, say, the wrong job, the wrong relationship, or the wrong mindset, it really is a long life.
A lot of people wonder if they are wasting their time or not when it comes to dating and relationships.
The million dollar questions:
Should you stick it out or throw in the towel? Does slow and steady win the race, or are you going to find yourself alone and back on a dating app next year?
Is patience a virtue? Or do you need to give that man an ultimatum?!
Does love really come along when you least expect it, or do you have to be proactive to find it?
A few suggestions:
If you’re wondering whether or not you are wasting your time with someone you are dating, it is quite possible that you may be.
You need to pay attention to your partner's words-and even more importantly, their actions- to find out. Sometimes you need a trusted friend or coach to help you see the truth, because you are not always going to be objective when it comes to your own love life.
If you are single and want to be in a relationship, but are not doing anything to get yourself on dates or make yourself more dateable, you are, in fact, wasting your time. Yup, I am sure about that one....
Unfortunately, I see a lot of great relationship-oriented people falling into one of these categories. They deeply desire to be in lasting love, but they are always sabotaging their chances of it. To put it simply, they are either wasting too much time with Mr./Ms. Wrong or failing to make the effort that is often necessary to find a great relationship.
This is something that really upsets me when I see it happening to clients, friends, and other people that I care about. I can see it so clearly, why can't they? Its like they are blind to reality. It can happen to the best of us; we are in own way.
Look, time is of the essence. Lately, I've been using mine to figure out a way to better serve the people I know who would like to stop wasting theirs and be happy in love already, darn it!
I've developed an exciting new coaching program, and over the next few weeks I want to talk to everyone I know -whether single or in an unsatisfying relationship-who is sick and tired of wasting time in their love life.
If you've made it this far and couldn't help but admit that you are wasting your time and want to do something about it, I'd love to talk to you! If you read this and thought it sounded like something your best friend, sister, brother, mother, father, relative, or colleague needs to hear, don't hesitate to pass this on.
Sometimes, all it takes is for one conversation to give you the momentum that can change your life forever.
If you are interested to learn more about how I can help you stop wasting your time and create the love you deserve, schedule a complimentary Matchmaking/Dating +Relationship Consultation in my online scheduler at RachelRusso.com today.
Come on now: It's GO TIME!
Hope you had a happy first day of summer & National Selfie Day!
Summer is a time for love--whether you are coupled up or just loving your "self".
Of course, we aren't formally taught how to love ourselves. A lot of people think self-love is as icky as this whole selfie craze that I just posted about on The Gram. But self- love isn't self-absorbed. Quite the contrary, self- love helps us be more present and loving to those in our life.
If we aren't lucky enough to be "loved up" at any given time, we can always love ourselves. In fact, we should have a lifelong love affair with our self --no matter what our status. Just because we deserve it!
Here are five fun ways to love this summer and long after:
1. Don't settle for less than what you want in your love life---whether it is dating someone who isn't a true fit for you or accepting treatment from a partner that is a lot less than ideal.
2. Communicate what you want to others--instead of hoping people will read your mind. Watch your chances of actually getting it increase exponentially!
3. Make choices that support your goals and true desires. Don't waste your time doing things that are not in line with the vision that you have for your life and/or relationship.
4. Give up judgment. Of yourself or of your partner. Just accept things as they are if you can. No one and no circumstance will always be perfect.
5. Ask for help when you need it. Didn't I just say that you don't have to be Super(Wo)Man?
Cheers to Love & Life!
Since we are talking money, let me first say that I am not getting paid to send out this message.
And there is a slight catch involved....
I like to tell it straight. No chaser.
There IS a monetary investment on your part, but, it is one that you will definitely very soon get back if you decide to move forward.
REAL TALK: f you have been following me for a while you may know that reality TV producers have been chasing me for the better part of the past decade about all kinds of matchmaking and dating coaching show concepts.
Aside from participating in some pilots and doing (many) recorded Skype interviews with producers, the only TV I have done is news show media interviews and several appearances being a panelist and guest on Brooklyn Savvy, a long-running public access talk show.
This is largely because I haven't been willing to sell out to make it to the big screen for a reality TV show of my own. Yet, I always said that if it doesn't compromise my values, I'd do it!
If life gives you a chance take it, if it changes your life let it.....
Well if you have ever wanted the chance to work with me-or to be set up by a matchmaker AND be on reality TV- keep reading.
Yes, I'm in talks of doing a show with a major network; they want me to take on a new client (male or female in the NYC tri-state area) to appear in a docu-series with me. There's a fee to become my client, but there is also compensation from the network. So, basically, the money will balance out.
If you can make the investment, want love & have the desire to be on TV, this might be perfect for you! Please get in touch at Rachel@RachelRusso.com asap. If I think you'd be a fit, I am happy to get you enrolled as a client and introduce you to the casting producer who can answer any questions about the show that you may have.
So don't be shy!
Oh, and if you want to become my client-sans the TV appearance-you can get in touch too.
As always, feel free to pass this on to friends, family, colleagues, and randos who have that I'm-the-next-big-reality-TV-star-glow. Good luck to all!
I'm looking for a special young woman who is looking for someone special.
She is truly OPEN to finding love, and she is not closed off to how she will find it.
She has her preferences and must-haves but does not cling to a rigid idea of who her future husband is-- how he looks, where he lives, what he does for work, how old he is, or what he must say, do, and be on the first date and in ever interaction after.
She might have some deal-breakers, but she's OPEN for the right guy--to dating someone who is an inch shorter than she prefers, is potentially outside her race, or is a tad bit older than her last boyfriend.
She lives in the NYC tri-state area or wouldn't mind relocating there for the love of her life.
She is beautiful-inside and out-in shape, smart, and has a warm and pleasant personality.
She is willing to open her mind, open her heart, and take a chance on finding love, and would therefore be open to potentially meeting an eligible bachelor.
This bachelor is a forty-six year old client of mine who is living in Northern, NJ. He is a well-educated professional who has never been married and is looking for his future wife. Born in NYC & raised (in part) in NJ, he is of Indian descent. He is spiritual, strong, masculine, and super-kind-hearted person looking for his other half for happily-ever-after.
There's a second bachelor too. This one is forty years old. A successful entrepreneur who is well-educated. A world traveller who calls NYC home. He's of Chinese descent. Has one young child and would love to marry and have a few more babies.
Do you know who is future wife is? Maybe you are his future wife?
If you'd like to be considered-at no cost to you-or refer one of your friends or family members-and be compensated generously- please shoot me an email at Rachel@RachelRusso.com with photos and info. Feel free to pass this blog post on to your friends.
Take a chance for love, today.
"Relationships are supposed to be easy--especially in the beginning," they say.
Clearly, they haven't read this awesome the gem of a book pictured above that I couldn't put down. It paints an extremely accurate picture of so much that I know to be true about the landscape of modern day dating, but I digress...
When you have heard that good relationships shouldn't be complicated so many times before, it is no surprise that you do anything from trying your best not to be difficult to avoiding confrontation like women try to avoid running into their ex on a bad hair day!
Even the word "difficult" brings up a lot of unpleasant images.
Like one of that friend who always has an issue with her order at the restaurant but has no problemo launching into a cringe-worthy speech for any server within earshot of the table.
But in romantic relationships "difficult" could look even more uncomfortable.
Like when you are dating someone who loves you and you aren't sure if you feel the same.
Or when you do love the person you are in a relationship with but the circumstances are very complicated. Well, here's to the difficult ones!
I don't know about you, but I'd rather toast to that any day. Because I think there is a "right" kind of difficult when it comes to love. It is the kind of difficult that can work for your love life if you can learn to embrace it.
And the kind of difficult that stands for something so it doesn't fall for anything.
The kind of difficult that is you being true to you at your core.
It is the kind of difficult that makes your partner appreciate who you are and value what the two of you share.
I'll take that kind of difficult any day.
We all make mistakes. Yes, some people make them more than others. But, you know, no one is perfect, and sometimes we do get second chances.
I'll be honest though: I see a lot of people failing to get second chances in their love life. Singles who make the worst impression on first dates. Or people who cross the line in their relationship-- to the point that there is no going back.
It is not only painful for them, but difficult for me to watch. My job as a matchmaker & dating/relationship coach is to do everything possible to make sure that my clients don't self-sabotage. I hold their hands and spoon feed them everything, but sometimes they still don't "get" it.
In all fairness, sometimes, they do get it, but there are factors beyond their control when it comes to matters of the heart. Like whether or not there is chemistry, for instance. That's something that I can not control when I set people up either. I can only use my knowledge, intuition, and the criteria a client is telling me to try to make those sparks fly between two people. Long term compatibility is a whole different story, because people change....
Yet, I have been setting people up since 2005 and have a pretty good track record--if you want me to take a stab at helping you find love, just shoot me an email at Rachel@RachelRusso.com. Tell me what you are looking for.
And that's where that #1 thing you should not mess up comes in. You need to know what YOU are looking for in every dating experience or relationship--and anything else in life for that matter. YOU. As in what you-and not your mom, not your best friend, and not your dog-wants.
Speaking of moms, check out my cute one pictured above! She might be biased, but when she read the first draft of this blog she said: "As your mom, I can honestly say you practice what you preach! You relate so well to all the ladies and gentleman who are searching for their prince. The dating scene is so much more difficult today than it was forty-five years ago. "
Ummm, ain't that the truth!
Despite the challenging context of today's dating scene that is already set, we all have the opportunity to write our own love story. Its dating and relationships in 2018. No doubt, this is a challenging time to find and keep love. The landscape is constantly changing. If you want my take on the latest trends, have a listen to my recent interview on Guy's Guy Radio, Episode, # 278 .
But its a tale as old as time: People get caught up in what other people want for their love life. Maybe they get married because of peer/societal pressure. To someone who others think is good for them. You know the drill.
You also know what you want. Exactly what you want. So you should stop negotiating with yourself, and start doing something to make your vision become reality. Today.
If you'd like to book a complimentary Matchmaking & Dating/Relationship Coaching Consultation, you can do so on my online scheduler at this time.
Everybody is unique, and everybody includes you. And, do you know what the beauty of that is? That you are your own person-- free to be yourself.
Whenever you can be your true self, you can attract people to you. When they stay attracted to you over the long term, you can rest assured that they like you for you. Because you have been yourself in a world where now, more than ever, people are pretending.
You don’t need be the woman who turns every head or the most handsome guy in the room to attract love. You don’t need to have a six pack. And you definitely don’t have to make your Instagram look like Kim Kardashian's to find someone who cares about you.
Although I often preach about the importance of looking as polished and attractive as possible if you want to ignite a spark and keep the flame burning-like here on Instagram nonetheless- authenticity is the best aphropdisiac on the market. Its a product that is within all of our reach.
Don't be afraid to put your true self out there on display. Your authenticity shouldn't be sitting in the stock room, and it has no shelf life. So this week make a conscious effort, to, ya know.....
Have a very blessed Easter, a happy Passover, or just a wonderful holiday weekend! Just wanted to say happy holidays from Rachel Russo Relationships!
I will be doing business as usual on Saturday with some matchmaking interviews via Facetime. I am looking for lovely ladies-ages 25-45-in the NYC tri-state area to be set up with some of my most eligible bachelors--both Catholic and Jewish-as well as some men who are more spiritual than religious.
A complimentary membership to my boutique matchmaking agency, Rachel Russo Relationships, is being offered to all women who qualify. Ladies can be introduced to great, relationship-oriented gentleman at no cost to them. If you are interested in being considered, please shoot me an email at Rachel@RachelRusso.com. If you have a friend, family member, or colleague who I can match up with one of my clients, please send her my way. If she goes out on a date, I will send you a generous commission for making the referral.
It's a tough dating world out there-for men and women alike, with or without a matchmaker-so I am always glad to compensate those who can help me match my clients. In fact, I am even hiring some recruiters as my business expands in New Jersey and New York. If you are in love with love, are well connected/or have the desire to expand your network, you might be my next great recruiter! Please get in touch today.
In the meantime, be well, and enjoy some time this weekend with the special people in your life.
I have a prediction.
It is about the irresistible desire to be desired irresistibly. Yes, you want to love and be loved.
You want to make things right.Fast.
Without further ado, I'd like to introduce my three dirty little hacks. Okay, they aren't so dirty. If you didn't get the memo: I am a *good* girl! Still with me? Just pick your relationship status below. Rinse & Repeat.
Single & still trying to meet someone who'll make the thoughts of your ex vanish:
Brace yourself. It is now Mercury Retrograde. Exes come back during this period, but you want to move forward. Let me hold your hand and help you navigate the challenges of dating in 2018. If you want some insight into how I can use my dating coaching skills & matchmaking magic to help you get over your ex and move forward into love, check out an interview I recently did this week on the Unbreak My Heart podcast.
Dating online & on dating apps--uuuggghh:
Three words: Video Chat, first. You simply have to make sure the person is who they say they are before you meet with them. Not only because its no fun to be on a date with someone who looks twenty years older than their photos, but because there are so many scammers out there who are doing horrifying things. Protect yourself. This goes for both women and men.
Married or in a relationship that makes you feel like you are married: Take a look at these words of wisdom that I found on a card in Chelsea market last week. GAME CHANGER!
Soooooo, its time to move in together, and you know what that means?
Yup, you and your partner need to sit down for some real talk. If you are thinking of "shacking up", first know that you are in good company. Whether it makes sense financially or it is just becoming the norm as relationships today progress, cohabitation is on the rise. This means that many of us need to figure out how to navigate the challenges of combining spaces for the first time. And, trust me, the struggle -from handling different taste in decor to different styles managing money-is real. Here are a few tips to help you throughout the transition from living solo to living, well, you know,.....in sin.
Deciding on decor when your tastes don't match up:
Sometimes, realizing that your tastes are very different doesn't happen until you are actually out shopping and picking out decor pieces. (After all, trips to furniture stores aren't typically a part of modern day dating!) If you want to test the waters before you hit the mall, set aside some time to look through home decor magazines together or start a joint Pinterest account. (Note: If you are dating a straight male, you may just have to take the lead with Pinterest!) You should both decide which pieces are most important to you individually. Then come together and talk about them. If your tastes are different, find the compromise. This can seem impossible, but it may be easier than you think if you find the right resources.
You can totally Google your way to finding a combined style. If the going is tough, try to find an interior designer who has experience working with say, Scandinavian and Industrial style combinations. Anything is possible. Another option would be to use apps like Design Home that would allow you to experiment pairing traditional sectionals from Arhaus with textured coffee tables from Serena and Lilly, among other brands as well. Utilizing these tools can help you envision your space before bringing the furniture in and having fun with your partner while doing it!
Moving in together is not always glamorous and having to talk about money with the person you love isn't always the most comfortable discussion. But there are very practical and necessary talks that you must have from the very beginning of your journey into cohabitation. You need to be on the same page here on many simple things. For example: If neither of your mattresses are desirable for the new place, do you invest in a new one? Maybe you think it is fine to just get one from Craigslist, but your partner doesn't want to sleep on one that a stranger has used. (Something about bad energy!) Many of these items can be expensive. Like kitchen tables. Your partner may think that purchasing one for your future family is a good investment, while you may be worrying about what would happen if you broke up. Its a very practical question: Who would take the table? Yet, it is one that most people don't want to discuss; because who wants to think about breaking up when you are just moving in?
As much of a drag that it may be to have these conversations when you are excited about living together for the first time, it is best to get in the habit of it, as there will be lots of talk about bill paying and finances in the near future. Not to mention endless little decisions to be made as a result of sharing a space. If you keep the lines of communication open, all of this unpleasant dialogue may bring you closer together and turn out to be the most beautiful shared experience as a couple yet!
Having difficulty communicating with your significant other about cohabitation, money, commitment, or anything else under the sun? Join the club! I do couples coaching-and can accommodate couples around the world thanks to video chat technology. Shoot me an email at Rachel@RachelRusso.com if you want to learn more about how I may be able to help you and your partner navigate the challenges.