"Relationships are supposed to be easy--especially in the beginning," they say.
Clearly, they haven't read this awesome the gem of a book pictured above that I couldn't put down. It paints an extremely accurate picture of so much that I know to be true about the landscape of modern day dating, but I digress...
When you have heard that good relationships shouldn't be complicated so many times before, it is no surprise that you do anything from trying your best not to be difficult to avoiding confrontation like women try to avoid running into their ex on a bad hair day!
Even the word "difficult" brings up a lot of unpleasant images.
Like one of that friend who always has an issue with her order at the restaurant but has no problemo launching into a cringe-worthy speech for any server within earshot of the table.
But in romantic relationships "difficult" could look even more uncomfortable.
Like when you are dating someone who loves you and you aren't sure if you feel the same.
Or when you do love the person you are in a relationship with but the circumstances are very complicated. Well, here's to the difficult ones!
I don't know about you, but I'd rather toast to that any day. Because I think there is a "right" kind of difficult when it comes to love. It is the kind of difficult that can work for your love life if you can learn to embrace it.
And the kind of difficult that stands for something so it doesn't fall for anything.
The kind of difficult that is you being true to you at your core.
It is the kind of difficult that makes your partner appreciate who you are and value what the two of you share.
I'll take that kind of difficult any day.
We all make mistakes. Yes, some people make them more than others. But, you know, no one is perfect, and sometimes we do get second chances.
I'll be honest though: I see a lot of people failing to get second chances in their love life. Singles who make the worst impression on first dates. Or people who cross the line in their relationship-- to the point that there is no going back.
It is not only painful for them, but difficult for me to watch. My job as a matchmaker & dating/relationship coach is to do everything possible to make sure that my clients don't self-sabotage. I hold their hands and spoon feed them everything, but sometimes they still don't "get" it.
In all fairness, sometimes, they do get it, but there are factors beyond their control when it comes to matters of the heart. Like whether or not there is chemistry, for instance. That's something that I can not control when I set people up either. I can only use my knowledge, intuition, and the criteria a client is telling me to try to make those sparks fly between two people. Long term compatibility is a whole different story, because people change....
Yet, I have been setting people up since 2005 and have a pretty good track record--if you want me to take a stab at helping you find love, just shoot me an email at Rachel@RachelRusso.com. Tell me what you are looking for.
And that's where that #1 thing you should not mess up comes in. You need to know what YOU are looking for in every dating experience or relationship--and anything else in life for that matter. YOU. As in what you-and not your mom, not your best friend, and not your dog-wants.
Speaking of moms, check out my cute one pictured above! She might be biased, but when she read the first draft of this blog she said: "As your mom, I can honestly say you practice what you preach! You relate so well to all the ladies and gentleman who are searching for their prince. The dating scene is so much more difficult today than it was forty-five years ago. "
Ummm, ain't that the truth!
Despite the challenging context of today's dating scene that is already set, we all have the opportunity to write our own love story. Its dating and relationships in 2018. No doubt, this is a challenging time to find and keep love. The landscape is constantly changing. If you want my take on the latest trends, have a listen to my recent interview on Guy's Guy Radio, Episode, # 278 .
But its a tale as old as time: People get caught up in what other people want for their love life. Maybe they get married because of peer/societal pressure. To someone who others think is good for them. You know the drill.
You also know what you want. Exactly what you want. So you should stop negotiating with yourself, and start doing something to make your vision become reality. Today.
If you'd like to book a complimentary Matchmaking & Dating/Relationship Coaching Consultation, you can do so on my online scheduler at this time.