Let’s cut to the chase: One of the biggest problems you may experience with online dating is that date prospects have no idea why they should pick you!
Because if you look the same as everyone else holding a martini glass, posing in front of some statue in Europe, and generally trying to make a good impression in two hundred fifty words or less, they have no way of knowing that you aren’t like everyone else they’ve ever dated.
Enter: Personal Branding Strategy For Your Love Life
In my nine years working in the dating industry, I've used some pretty creative marketing tactics to help my clients get a bevy of winks and messages on all of the popular online dating sites. The one strategy that works every time: Communicating a strong personal brand.
Of course, the average person doesn’t like to think of his or herself as a brand, as brands are something that we have to sell. While the idea of figuring out how to sell yourself on an online dating site might sound anywhere from sleazy to less than the ideal way to find your match, it is crucial to your success with online dating. You are a brand. You just have to figure out which one. For some ideas, check out this great article by my friend, dating coach, Polina Soda.
At this point you may be wondering. So wait, Rachel, tell me: Why do I have to think like a marketer to get a girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife?
The truth is online daters are lazy. Many of them have been sitting in front of a computer all day. The last thing they want to do is come home and read through dozens of boring, cliche profiles. When they engage in this mind-numbing activity, they aren’t really the brightest crayons in the box. Read: They don’t have the time or mental energy to figure out who you are if you don’t tell them. As they click their way through, they are looking for reasons to eliminate you. Don’t get me wrong; this is a good thing! There aren’t enough hours in the day to communicate with all the singles who come up in a search!
Consequently, your goal is to help the online daters who may be looking for someone exactly like you. In mere seconds, you want them to get a glimpse of your profile and decide that you are a fit! Not only are you a fit, you are the BEST fit! Like-call-your-best-friend-and-tell-her-you-met-The One-fit. You want to immediately capture their attention so that they will contact you instead of the dozens and dozens of other members.
Once you get this, online dating becomes very simple. Clearly, the only way to captivate the singles of your choice is to convey a strong personal brand. In this case, knowing who you are is just as important as knowing who you want.
Disclaimer: Online dating will never be simple if you aren’t over your ex. “Single stuck on the past” will never be a good personal brand. If you need help leaving the past in the past, check out my book How To Get Over Your Ex: A Step By Step Guide To Mend A Broken Heart Italian American Style.
True Story: I had a fabulous Book Signing Party + Birthday Soiree last weekend, and I’ve been riding the high ever since!
TV show appearances, media interviews, and, of course, blogs written about my event by my publicity-princess-cousin and the lovely blogger who referred to me as “a how-to rock star”.
Not a bad life, I tell you—all thanks to How To Get Over Your Ex A Step By Step Guide To Mend A Broken Heart Italian American Style.
I’ve been so grateful for all the friends, family, and fans who came out to my chosen venues-The BookMark Shoppe and Delia’s Lounge in Brooklyn, NY- to support me. I appreciate all of the compliments on the special talk I gave, The ABC’s of Getting Over Your Ex Italian American Style, as well as all the words of encouragement.
Speaking of words, my friend, Erin Sherwood, had some beautiful ones to share in response to the you- know-your-over-your-ex-question that was my Go Ex Free Italian American Style Challenge. She said:
“You know you're over your ex.........
When the little things that pop up are no longer emotional land mines immediately bringing you back to the past because only the ex could appreciate and laugh with you about it; immediately sending every muscle on patrol to resist reaching for the phone to email/txt the ex. When letting go of the fear of being alone subsides and all that's left in its place are all the same little things creating one beautiful journey to finding that one person to share the rest of life with. “
Cheers to that, huh?! If you were at my after-party at Delia’s I would raise the glass of my Ex-Tini. (Yes, I named an alcoholic beverage!)
If you couldn’t make it to the party, I am sorry I couldn’t save you an Ex-Tini or any of those delicious Nutella Brownies my friend and host of the Cooking With Nonna show, Rossella Rago, so kindly made for my guests. (Spoiler Alert: I included Rossella's recipe in my book!)
But I could invite you to live in an ex free zone with free shipping—just until the end of the week. That’s right, for this week only, Christine Freglette owner of The BookMark Shoppe has offered free shipping on How To Get Over Your Ex: A Step By Step Guide To Mend A Broken Heart Italian American Style for those who were invited to my Book Signing Party but missed the event.
Call them at (718) 833-5115 to order. Like Badda Bing, Badda Boom.
I am so excited to announce that we are just two days away from my Book Signing Party for How To Get Over Your Ex: A Step By Step Guide To Mend A Broken Heart Italian American Style.
In celebration of Italian American Heritage Month, I am presenting this unique self-help book at The BookMark Shoppe in Brooklyn this Saturday, October 18th, from 6-7PM.
Guests will be treated to a fun and informative talk in which I will reveal the ultimate recipe for success in getting over heartache and finding true love—the Italian American way. Speaking of recipes, my friend, Rossella Rago, host of Cooking with Nonna, also has a little something to share at the after-party at Delias Lounge. Beforehand, I’ll be autographing all books that are sold at The Book Mark Shoppe, so come get your copy at this special event in Bay Ridge.
Since I am presenting a truly new concept-the first time breakups have been viewed through an Italian American lens-I invite you to attend no matter what your relationship status. Whether you truly need to get over your ex, wish to explore the impact culture can have on getting us through life’s challenges, or are just looking for unique way to spend your Saturday evening, I encourage you to join us.
For more information about this event and the after-party which will follow, please check out http://www.prweb.com/releases/2014/09/prweb12187703.htm
Cheers to La Dolce Vita!
Sending out messages to potential dates on an online dating site is kind of like emailing your resume and cover letter to prospective employers.
Sometimes you pour your heart out, other times you give them a copy and paste job with a touch of personalization; most times, its feels like you sent something to outer space. In other words, you get minimal responses and can’t help but wonder if your messages even reach real, live, humans.
If you want to have a successful experience with online dating, the people you are most interested in getting to know have to be interested in getting to know you. No responses equals no dates; no dates equals no relationships; no relationships equals a bunch of people who don't have the first clue about online dating running around saying how much online dating sucks! Don’t listen to the haters. Online dating does work, and it can work for you. You can get responses-and plenty of them- if you follow my simple steps.
1. Register for an online dating site that has a reputation for having members that actually want relationships. All online dating sites are not created equal. Find a good one that has attractive, relationship-oriented singles. Hint: It is usually better if there are paid membership subscriptions.
2. Make sure you have the best profile you possibly can. The photos and text in your profile have to be able to “sell” you to the type of people you want to date. You should get a friend or a professional such as myself to give you objective feedback on your profile. If you can't write something that would make you want to date you, have a professional write it for you.
3. Only contact people if you truly fit what they specify they are looking for. If you are out of their age range or live two hundred miles away, you can not complain when you don’t get a response. There are enough people on the Internet who want to meet someone exactly like you. Spend your time finding them instead of hoping to beat the odds with singles who are "out of your league".
4. Make sure the singles you contact seem normal, real, and have been online within the last week. Messaging members who haven't been active in two weeks or more is a waste of time, as they may no longer be interested in dating anyone new. Check out my article, 6 Steps To Reading An Online Dating Profile Like An Expert, which was recently mentioned in The 22 Best Dating Articles We've Read This Month--Sept 2014 by WeLoveDates, for more advice on who to contact.
5. Use a subject heading that intrigues your potential date. Get creative and think of something that he or she will not be able to resist opening. The idea is to come up with something so intriguing that your message-as opposed to the dozens and dozens of other messages in their inbox-will be opened. Now.
6. Keep your message short and sweet. No one wants to read a novel from someone they don’t know. If the message is too long, it will get overlooked or deleted. (That s**t is overwhelming. This isn't twenty questions, people!) If the message is arrogant or insulting, it will not get a reply either. If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.
7. Make it clear that you have actually read their profile. You can do this by asking a question about one of their interests and pointing out an area of commonality. Nothing is worse than receiving a generic email that was sent to a bunch of other singles. An impersonal email is a huge turnoff—no matter how good looking you are in your photos. "I like your profile. Let's meet for a drink." This just doesn't cut it!
8. Communicate a genuine interest in the person. Look at the profile and identify what characteristics about the person have most piqued your interest. Make a unique, intelligent comment on them. Tell the person why you think the two of you are compatible or give them a great compliment.
Above all, if you give a reasonable person who is a potentially reasonable match for you a reason to respond to you, it is likely you will get a response back. Now, if it were only that simple in the workplace……
If you are serious about finding your match with online dating, check out my Online Dating + Ghostwritten Glory Dating Coaching Package, and contact me at Rachel@RachelRusso.com