This July 3rd, in honor of the upcoming Independence Day..................
I have three words for you: “Let freedom ring!”
Not only should we never forget all of the brave men and women who gave their lives for our freedom, we should regard the holiday as an opportunity to ponder what being free really means to us.
What would true freedom look like to you? How can you be more free? Mentally? Physically? Financially? Spiritually? And of course, in your love life? Think about it.
To spark more than just illegal fireworks this weekend, take a good look at the people you know who have love lives that you admire. Who do you know that is totally content being single? Who are the couples that have a relationship you would want for yourself? What do they do differently than you or most people you know?
Fingers crossed that you know some people who are actually happy with their love lives. (Trust me, they are out there—though far and few between.) If you are racking your brain and coming up empty, you are in luck. I am about to give you the Cliff Notes on the psyches and relationship dynamics that these peeps share.
You see, throughout my career in the dating industry for the past nine years in a place as diverse as NYC, I
have personally known all kinds of people. I’ve been like a sponge—absorbing all the good, bad, and ugly parts of love lives. I’ve been able to extract the truths that follow.
Allow me to introduce you to the four types of people who have something about them that is really free. (Hint: It is not that “free cruise” to the Bahamas everyone “wins”!)
The Person Who Is Not Super Attached To Any One Outcome: In other words, the opposite of a control freak. Want to be a slave forever? Just try to control everything—from the first date, to how quickly he/she texts you back, to when you’ll get married, to the moment you’ll have baby-making sex. Then, get terribly upset/angry/volatile when your partner doesn’t do and say exactly what you want. Repeat every time things don’t go as according to planned. Sure, because doesn’t everyone want to be in a relationship with that person? The person who is open to
different possibilities is the person who is free.
The Person Who Is Not Stuck In Narrow Definitions: To subscribe to alternate possibilities, you have to challenge the status quo in your dating and relationships. In case you did not realize it, most things in life don’t have any meaning until we give them meaning. And the people who have a narrow vision of who they should date, what dating should look like, and how their relationships should unfold are some of the unhappiest. Relationships are not a science. They are an art. You have full creative freedom if you just stop listening to everyone else and/or get out of your own way.
The Person Who Lets Go Of The Past: The person who is centered in the present is an extremely alluring
person. Perhaps, their beauty lies in the rarity of their existence. Most people are chained to their past. Caught
up in the ways their failed relationships affect them in their current relationships. Focused on making their ex jealous with the new photos they post on Facebook. This is no way to live. No one wants to be in a relationship with
someone who can’t be in the here and now. If you are constantly comparing your current partner to your last, you might as well start wearing orange jumpsuits, because you my friend, are in prison. You need freedom of the ex.
Get on that path with a copy of my book, How To Get Over Your Ex: A Step By Step Guide To Mend A Broken Heart Italian American Style, here http://www.amazon.com/How-Get-Over-Your-Heart-Italian/dp/1626469628
The Person Who Sees The Glass As Half Full: No one likes to be around a Negative Nelly. A relationship with such a pessimist is the ultimate buzz kill. When people expect the worst, they get the worst. It wasn’t just once that
I heard of a man with a girlfriend accusing him to the point of cheating that he figured he might as well cheat since she thinks he is anyway! On the other hand, those who let go, let God/The Universe and just hope for the best, often times get the best. Optimism = More freedom. Every time.
Do you know any other type of person who is really and truly free? Describe that person in the comments section of my blog below.
Here’s to a Happy 4th of July!