There are things in life that are just plain complicated.
Coming up with one clear path to career success. Beating a Candy Crush addiction. Reasoning with a drunk person. And, of course, getting over your ex.
In the days and weeks following a breakup, common sense is
not so common for many of us. When we are in such a vulnerable state, we can lose sight of what we need to do to bounce back after the loss of a significant relationship.
Instead of moving forward, we move backward by stalking our ex everywhere from Instagram to the local diner. Or maybe we move away from our ex and dive head first into a relationship with someone else-- who is basically just our ex in different packaging. Ah, the rebound.
While I’d never claim that finding, keeping, or ending a relationship is easy, there are ways to make all of these processes a whole lot simpler. When it comes to mending a broken heart, you’ve really got to do the following:
You must accept that your relationship is over, and there is no turning back. A breakup is like a death. In my recently-published book, How To Get Over Your Ex: A Step By Step Guide To Mend A Broken Heart Italian American Style, I suggest that you treat it as such. It is crucial that you let yourself go through the stages of grieving without getting in touch with your ex. You may think that a quick phone call or a-just-checking-in-text is innocent enough. Forgettaboutit! If you want to move on, you need to adhere to a strict no contact policy—at least for a considerable amount of time.
If you are tempted to reach out to your ex, you should sit down and make a list of all the reasons why your relationship is broken and why your ex, is, umm, a stunad. Read it and reread it until you believe it! The truth is: You will never have a new future if you keep such a tenacious grip on your past. Perhaps, the single most important thing you must do to get over your ex is to accept the fact that the relationship is over. Like Badda Bing, Badda Boom!
You have to embrace your new identity as a single person, and create opportunities to meet new people.
Contrary to popular belief, time does not heal all--unless you are doing something productive with your time. By productive, I do not mean sitting at home and watching Real Housewives reruns. I mean taking action that will have a positive impact on your ability to transition into a happy life as a single. You are single, so go out and act like it! Post-breakup is an ideal time to throw yourself into your work and pursue the hobbies you never got around to when you were in a relationship. Making new friends-you know, people that don’t remind you of your ex-can be a tremendous help. This is easier than you think during the summer.
If you are in the tri-state area, I wholeheartedly recommend you get in touch with my friend, David Shapiro. He has a social and professional networking company that runs summer shares everywhere from The Hamptons & Fire Island to Club Getaway & Atlantic City! Trust me: I’ve recently participated in David’s shares and events. They are a lot of fun! If you can broaden your horizons and expand your social network, it won’t be too long before you meet that person who reminds you exactly why it never worked out with your ex.
Want help getting over your ex? Get your copy of How To Get Over Your Ex Italian American Style at Amazon, Barnesandnoble.com or Booklocker today. http://booklocker.com/books/7340.html
For more information on how David Shapiro is redefining the summer share in 2014, please visit http://davidshapiro.net. Or call David directly at 212-579-4844. He will welcome you into his social network
and you'll be thinking "what was the name of that ex" in no time!