By now, on Christmas Eve Day and the last day of Hanukkah, you or some people you know have surely experienced the stresses of the holiday season--especially if recently single. Or single for a long time and feeling bad about it!
Well, congratulations! Ya'll made it through the anxiety of having to find a halfway decent date for the office party. (And if your anxieties have been running even deeper, you should probably check out this great resource from my friend, Dr. Chloe Carmichael.) You've wrapped (or are now wrapping) the gifts. And if you are a NYC Jew heading to The Matzo Ball, you've probably even chosen your outfit! Awesome! Surviving the holidays single-Italian American Style- is all about living the good life. Its a strategy for everyone--not just the paesanos!
Whether you are getting ready for a night on the town with friends or The Feast of The Seven Fishes at home with the fam, you are exactly where you should be after a recent breakup or years of singledom--and that is with people who care about you, of course.
When it comes to surviving the holidays as a single, a strong support system is key. If you want to do it (or anything) Italian American Style, you aren't going at it alone--which leads me to.......
Survival Tip #1: Surround yourself with good peeps and good food.
No one really wants to be alone during the holidays, but being single at this time isn't a reason to creep into an ex's bedroom at 3am or settle for the random hookup at the bar. Instead, it is an opportunity to reconnect with friends, family, and all those people you ignored when you were with your ex. "Cheers to La Dolce Vita" is a lot easier to toast to when you've got delicious foods, festive drinks, and special people by your side. Oh and if you need some inspiration with the food and drinks, be sure to check out my Instagram page, where I'll naturally be sharing some of my Italian American holiday faves.
Survival Tip #2: Sta 'zitto: In other words, shut up about being single, already!
It isn't the worst thing in the world to have no one to kiss underneath the mistletoe. Really. The more you complain about your single status, the more negativity you attract to your love life and the less fun everyone has at the holiday party. Also, in regard to your ex, keep your mouth shut! The past is the past. Your friends and family will be supportive, to a point. But lengthy conversations about the ex could wear out your welcome, especially at a bright and jolly time like Christmastime.
Survival Tip # 3: Stay strong and don't give in to temptation to be in an unhealthy relationship or revisit an old one now.
Sure, you and your ex are both home for the holidays, but it doesn't mean you need to get in touch or, God forbid, send gifts to the family's home. Rather, if you read my book, How To Get Over Your Ex: A Step By Step Guide To Mend A Broken Heart Italian American Style, you'll see that I insist on a strict-no-contact-policy with exes until you have both gotten over the romantic relationship. This goes for people you've been kinda-sorta-dating who are no longer serving you at this exact moment either. If you aren't shining as brightly as the Christmas lights on the tree when you are with them, well.....................
Don't give in to someone you shouldn't be with, get caught up in being lonely, or miss out on the food, friends, and family of the season because you are single and don't want to be. Italian Americans are a strong people, and if you want to survive and thrive through at this time, you should be too.
Good Luck & Happy Holidays, Singles!
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Rachel Russo Relationships, LLC
28 Valley Road Suite 1
Montclair, New Jersey