Act as a fly on the wall among the average group of singles today, and you'll surely hear someone say that dating sucks.
Confession: Even I have said it! Without a doubt, there are a lot of things about the dating scene that are less than ideal, but perhaps the most annoying three are as follows:
Dating ADD: Anyone who has ever used a dating app can tell you that singles-especially those in the big city- don't have the longest attention spans. It seems that many people are swiping right and starting conversations that end after just a few exchanges--for no good reason other than someone simply losing interest. It is becoming widely accepted that singles go MIA in these chats on apps like Bumble and Tinder as well as on online dating sites. Even worse, people are "ghosting" those that they have had actual dates and relationships with!
The games: Scan a few online dating profiles, and you'll see lots of singles writing that they don't want drama and games. Yet start dating those very singles and you'll find yourself smack in the middle of that dance of intimacy. Pursuing. Pulling away. Pursuing again. Distancing again. Unfortunately, this is the way the dating game works for many--no matter how many people slap up a #AintNobodyGotTimeForThat on their social media. This frustrating dynamic even happens when people are married. Modern day technology only makes it worse. Because who hasn't gotten mad about that text message that was read and never answered? And, no he isn't laying in a hospital bed....
Lack of Commitment: Earlier this week, I was live-tweeting the show that I am not-so-secretly-obsessed-with, Married At First Sight, and paused to compose this gem of a tweet:
"I'm not going to give up on this marriage without one heck of a fight." Yup, that's my theory on relationships, and I'm always saddened and perplexed when people just give up on someone they care about.
Apparently, there are a lot of people who don't think twice about throwing in the towel with someone they are dating--whether its been two weeks, two months, or even two years. These days people are breaking up via text and posting pics with their "new love" on Instagram the very next day. In other words, they aren't even trying.
Despite all of this undeniable negativity that is a part of dating in the twenty-first century, it can get better. A lot better! People can focus in interacting with potential dates, they can stop pushing away their partners, and they can commit, goshdarnit. The question is....how?
What do you despise most about dating? Do you have any ideas as to how you can make dating more enjoyable for you and the people you date?
Do you want to date better in 2016? Please come see me live in NYC on February 2nd, as I take part in an engaging, co-ed panel discussion (suitable for singles of all ages) on Conscious Dating, moderated by Mary Reily . The event, taking place at DistrictCoWork, costs $30, includes wine, and will start at 7PM. Email Rachel@RachelRusso.com for more details.