Have you shaken your head at your screen while trying to figure out what the heck your password is, simultaneously cursing yourself for being completely incapable of storing all your login info in WorkFlowy or at least on a good, old-fashioned piece of paper?
Checked your phone compulsively wondering why *He* or *She* is taking so long to text you back?
Exhaustedly tucked yourself in bed after a hard day's work only to realize that you have to use the bathroom? Like. Right. Now.
Yeah. So that happened.
The three aforementioned scenarios are simply annoying things that we've all encountered.That's life, right? We expect such frustrations, accept such frustrations, get frustrated, and move on.
But what about those things that are even more distressing? The things that everyone goes through eventually that are harder to accept and be done with. The agonizing things that people don't always talk about but totally go through.
Well here's a few that have to do with, you guessed it, love lives. (And what you could do about them if they
Being anxious about interacting with someone desirable in-person
People fear being rejected. Even when they are comfortable approaching strangers, there will always be someone at some point that makes them anxious in some way. Of course it is even harder for introverts!
I recently met with Justin, The Dating & Lifestyle Consultant behind Natural Attraction NYC. He works with a lot of introverted men on successfully approaching women and shared his top tips.
To begin with, he says it is all about relaxation--being comfortable in your environment and approaching different ladies consistently. As for how to get the courage to approach strangers, he says: Start small! Just say hello to five women a day--if even for thirty seconds. He cautions guys who go overboard in approaching women and is in favor of doing something more sustainable, as well as being genuine. In other words, he says you can't act like an extrovert when you are an introvert. But you can take a deep breath and push yourself to approach a pretty lady and just be...you.
Struggling to make a difficult decision about a relationship
The head-heart debate is one of the most challenging things people face. It is ultimately a question of: Do you listen to the part of your brain that is full of reasons to end a relationship or the part that triggers your pleasure center and gives you the warm and fuzzy feelings of romantic love?
People wonder: Should they stay or should they go? How long should they stay? How long is too long of a chance to give someone to make you happy? Should people even get second and third chances to begin with?
As for the fix? There is no easy solution. I personally struggle with this one, so I truly know how hard it is. I advise people to make decisions on a case-by-case basis, because relationships are not always black and white. But one thing that is: In order for a relationship to really work, you need to be all in or all out! I say that a decision must be made, sooner rather than later. So give yourself a timeline for it and stick to it!
Being judged by others
Friends, family, strangers, and everyone in between judge others on not only who they are in relationship with but how they act in a relationship with them.
Did I mention people are also judged on how they act when a relationship ends?
Hint: People think you should just be able to get over it already. That the post-breakup script goes something like this: Cry. Eat ice-cream and fail to shower for weeks. Move on. Oh, and maybe try online dating. Naturally, this leaves the broken-hearted feeling both traumatized from the breakup but like there is something wrong with them for not being able to mend their broken heart like badda bing, badda boom.
My advice? Adopt a new mantra. Like....
ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME.