If you spent a day in the life of my matchmaker shoes, one of the first things you would notice is this: A lot of people have a lot of irrational thoughts that are most definitely having a negative impact on their dating and relationships.
Just about everyone has these cognitive distortions at one time or another,but some people are extreme and at risk of self-sabotage. Read on for: 4 Irrational Thoughts That Lead To Self-Sabotage In Relationships:
1. Overgeneralization: This is when you make broad interpretations from limited experience. Don't define yourself as awkward just because you had one painfully awkward date.
2. Catastrophizing: Some think their love life requires everyone to go into a national state of emergency! They truly believe they are the only one who has it this bad. If you are one of those people, I have a pep talk for you.
3. Jumping to conclusions: With this flavor of cognitive distortion, people interpret the meaning of an event with hardly any evidence. For instance, I tell my client that the woman I hoped to introduce him to has declined the invitation to meet. He automatically assumes it is because he's too old, and she prefers to date younger. But the truth is, it has nothing to do with that! Be honest with yourself. Do you do this?
4. Disqualifying the positive: You are seriously getting into dangerous territory if you do this in your relationships. When you focus on the negative about your partner-and conveniently forget all the positive-you have a recipe for bitterness and disaster.
Are you guilty as charged? Work on changing your thoughts to improve your love life, and if you don't know how, shoot me an email at Rachel@RachelRusso.com.