For many of us, it has now been more than forty days of quarantine, and, well, its getting real! As the Covid 19 pandemic is changing the world as we know it, the stay-at-home orders are making a mark on our love life in the collective. As I continue to provide virtual dating and relationship coaching-as well as tele-therapy- for singles and couples, I’m learning a lot about the dating and relationship climate during these unprecedented times.
Here are some of the trends that I have seen:
1.The desire for love and connection really is here to stay, but the ways in which it is being expressed is definitely changing. Yes, people are still swiping away and figuring out how to form romantic connections with video chats, phone calls, text messages, surprise deliveries, socially distant walks, drive-by celebrations, and even drones. Since you can’t chase someone down and make-out in the airport right now-like you would if you were the star of a romantic comedy, of course- it is time to get creative. Masks: Required!
2. Common sense still applies. Single ladies: If he’s just not that into you, he’s just not that into you—and, you will be able to tell. Even if you aren’t quarantined together. If you want a reminder for your refrigerator, these are the things a relationship-oriented man with genuine interest in you should be doing during the early stages of dating.
3. People are seeing the good in their situation—no matter what their status. Some singles are using the time to develop themselves, and be glad they aren’t quarantined with their ex! Others are realizing the benefits of dating from home. No commute. No bill. No pants with zippers. No awkward kiss goodnight. Some couples are realizing that they haven’t killed each other yet; to their amazement, they actually kind of like the bond that develops from being “safe at home” 24/7!
4. That being said, some people are getting really, really, frustrated with their partner. The longer they are home together, the more those annoying habits become more and more annoying! Balancing the “we” time with the “me” time can be extra challenging when one day looks the same as the next, and the weeks kind of just blur together. Fundamental differences are highlighted; emotions are strong. Tension, high.
5. Communication is getting awkward for everyone. For those doing virtual dating, it is more challenging than ever not to turn their video dates into job interviews! Once people do manage to start chatting regularly with someone they may like, it can be hard to keep the conversation going with new romantic prospect. Some who are living simply feel here’s only so many times you can ask what one made for dinner or watched on Netflix. Again, creativity is king here—as is having a personality. No one can rely on just looks anymore; some are discovering they really don’t know how to have meaningful conversations with strangers. Sadly, others are finding out that they have nothing to talk about with the person who has been sleeping next to them for the past two decades. Still others say it is hard to tell the new partner sitting right next to them that they just want them to……go away.
All of this is pretty darn normal during quarantine life, but for some, the impact on their dating or relationship is more problematic than for others. Yes, this too shall pass, but in the meantime……
If you need help coping, there’s good news: I am offering complimentary consultations for all new potential dating and relationship coaching clients and discounted sessions for everyone during the pandemic and into the near future. Book your strategy session here.