An Ode to The Worst Thing You Can Do For Your Love Life

Welcome to the new year!

It is a time in which we all need to move forward in life instead of talking about the same things over and over.  But, sometimes, it is helpful to take a brief glimpse into the past--to revisit that thing that has come up over and over. Because, as they say, the lesson repeats until you learn it....

The dead horse of the discourse on why people are generally single is that they are just too picky. Singles are criticized for having "laundry lists". They are encouraged by their family members, friends, therapists, matchmakers, coaches, and strangers on the train to be more open, to give people chances, etc. 

In most instances, I find this to be pretty good advice. Most people are too narrow-minded when it comes to who they will date and aren't too skilled at predicting their compatibility with another. Even when they are very self-aware and have done a lot of therapy or coaching, people have blind spots. They have strong ideas about dating and relationships, as well as what is good for them and what isn't. Sometimes, they are wrong.

I'll be honest: I have my share of ideas that I cling to with a pretty tenacious grip as well. 
For instance, I confess that I think it is *generally* better for women to date older men! But, hey if you are an extraordinary, mature guy who has a thing for an older woman, you can totally make it work---if you avoid all the mistakes younger men make that is. If this is of interest to you-or you are just curious- check out this article I was quoted in & learn what I think is the #1 mistake of these young cubs today....

Anyway, being picky might seem like one of the worst things for love. It is pretty bad when you are single, because it keeps you single for longer than you'd like. And if you manage to actually get into a relationship and start picking apart your partner, its pretty toxic too. After all, no one likes to be with someone who is critical.....

In my humble opinion, the worst thing anyone can ever do for their love life is be impatient and demanding in regard to love. Because, even in our instant gratification culture:  You still can't hurry love.

If you try to force someone to be with you-or demand that he or she treat you a certain way when they keep showing they don't want to-you are settling for way less than you deserve. 
And settling for less than you deserve is it--that is the absolute worst thing you can do for your love life--no matter who you are and what your relationship status is.

So in 2017, just don't do that, k? It'll all be alright!