One of the hardest and most beautiful things to define is: Love.
As you may have learned, love means different things to different people, and people express love in different ways. Sometimes, it is easier to define something by defining its' opposite.
When there is a lack of love, I KNOW it. I can see it in the relationships of friends, clients, and strangers. Can you?
Its funny how we can so clearly see something about someone else's relationship, yet fail to see that very same thing in our own.
As they say, love is blind. Yup. I've been there too.
I totally hate to see people stay stuck in relationships that seem likely to turn into an epic fail, because their partner just isn't invested or caring enough.
Don't you hate when they don't get it? To the point where you just want to shake them?
Some relationships are just a lost cause, and it is often because one person loves too much and the other doesn't love enough.
Just in case the person who loves too much is YOU-or someone you care about-I wanted to pass on a recently published Bustle article that I was quoted in.
Check out 5 Signs Your Partner Doesn't Care Enough About You, According To An Expert if you-or a friend-just isn't getting the love deserved.
Disclaimer: Reading this article might make you want to break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend, divorce your husband or wife, try to save your relationship, or never fall in love with someone who can't love enough again.
To that I say: Kudos to you!
Dating in NYC can sometimes seem impossible---if you are looking to get off the dating-merry-go-round and actually find as well as keep a relationship, that is.
A lot of New Yorkers agree on the root cause of the problem: Too many options! Of course, this isn't true in just the big cities. There are more options than ever everywhere, thanks to online dating sites and mobile dating apps.
On one hand, it is great that technology allows singles to connect with people they would not otherwise meet in their daily life; but on the other, some of these mediums can be quite challenging when it comes to finding your true match. Kind of like finding the red gummy bears in the bag, actually. Doesn't everyone want the red gummy bears?
The question is: How do you find the red gummy bears?
First off, you BECOME a red gummy bear. Like attracts like, ya'll! If you want to marry someone extraordinary, you need to be extraordinary. You must appear extraordinary on the dating apps, sites, waiting on line at the pharmacy, etc. The search for "The One" must start with you becoming "The One". Would you date yourself? If not, you have work to do.......
Once you are the red gummy bear-or if you are a brave red-gummy-bear-in-progress-you go out into the world and put yourself in places where you could improve your dating & relationship skills and meet compatible matches.
If you live in or near NYC, you have a wealth of resources! Not to mention the fact that you could be out at events with singles every night of the week......
Three upcoming events worth attending that I am involved with are as follows:
He Said/She Said Dating & Relationship Seminar: I am co-hosting this event, tomorrow,Thursday, July 14th, from 7:15-10PM with dating coach, Mike Goldstein, at Little Town Social in Hoboken, NJ
Summer Lovin Singles Soiree: I am doing mini-matchmaking interviews and considering all attendees for a complimentary matchmaking membership, as well as providing free advice for the broken-hearted at this event sponsored by Cheekd on Tuesday, July 19th, from 6-9PM at Parkside Lounge in NYC.
Elite Man Conference: I am one of the 30+ expert speakers at this self-development conference for men in Plymouth, MA on August 5th &6th. I will be doing a thirty-minute presentation, How To Get Over Breakups & Rejection, using both my professional and personal experience--with a hint of Italian American flavor! I am inviting people to purchase half-price tickets using my code "Russo50".
If you are unable to attend these events, but would like to explore the possibility of working with me on matchmaking or dating coaching from your location, just email me at Rachel@RachelRusso.com with the subject "Options".
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go find some red gummy bears......
I went to The Hamptons last weekend.
By which I mean I rented out an East Hampton house with my high school bestie, and we alternated between long, athletic walks on Montauk Beach and stuffing our faces with lobster rolls, lobster mac & cheese, and, umm, some more lobster. Got to love the contrast....
A lot of people think of The Hamptons as "stuffy" and pretentious, but my experiences there are usually pretty down to earth--despite all the lobster!
You get such nice contrast in The Hamptons--the beach, the 'burbs, the country, and everyone from NYC, all rolled into one!
Wouldn't it be nice to be in a relationship with The Hamptons? I mean, its really (almost!) everything one's heart could desire.
Contrast is good for relationships, you know.
We are intrigued by opposite qualities in our partner--i.e. masculine and feminine energies.
Doing strikingly different things keeps the relationship dynamic fun and fresh too. Especially when its for the long term.
After all, anyone who has ever read a Match.com profile knows that there isn't a single out there who doesn't appreciate a night on the couch and a night on the town. Or someone who can rock jeans & a t shirt and a three-piece suit with a pocket square.
We like variety. (Men. I am talking especially to you!) We heart new experiences. We appreciate the light and the dark. Sometimes,we enjoy the light even more because of the dark....
So spice up you love life with some contrast, why don't you?
No matter what your relationship status, you can improve things in the romance department by embracing different parts of yourself and/or your relationship. Don't allow yourself or your relationship to be defined by any one "thing"or identity, because you are so much more than that.....
Above all, if you want success in any part of your life, don't give in to being ordinary/blah/boring/cookie-cutter/run-of-the-mill.
Because your love life could be extraordinary......