When it comes to dating for the purposes of finding a life partner or spouse, there is a lot to consider. Will this person want the same things as I want? Laugh at my bad jokes? Sit by my hospital bed around the clock if I'm suffering from some terrible disease? One thing I really stress to all my single clients is that they should seek someone who shares their same vision for the future. Do they want to be a power couple who travels the world? Or do they dream of settling in the 'burbs and being the best PTA parents to ever grace their child's school?
If a couple isn't on the same page when they get married, there may not be many more pages to their story. Perhaps one way to increase the chances of finding someone who has a similar vision for what they want out of life or how to raise children is to find someone who shares your race, ethnicity, or religion. While I personally know several interracial and interfaith couples who are going strong, I know plenty more who struggle with cultural clashes between their families of origin and kids who are so confused by two religions that they choose no religion at all.
While I'm not here to say one is better than the other-and am totally aware that we can't help who we fall in love with-I don't think it's a bad idea to at least try to date within our own race/ethnicity/religion or one that is similar. In regard to long term compatibility, I've seen more evidence for "birds of a feather flocking together" than opposites attracting. Consequently, I have no problem sharing my Italian American pride-the kind that inspires photo shoots/interviews + books- with anyone and everyone. And I certainly wouldn't mind if this attracted a man with some Italian American swag either!
No, I don't think there is anything wrong with Italians seeking Italians, Jews seeking Jews, or both groups getting together to make, ummm, pizza bagels. (Considering how similar these cultures can be, when it comes to successful intermingling, the chances are looking good!) So, in a sense, I'm saying that being politically correct is overrated when it comes to your love life. It can help with your career, but when it comes to dating, get real about what you want. You aren't ethnocentric, racist, or arrogant if you want to date someone who is more similar to you and your family. If, you, too, agree that it's totally okay to not interracially date and would like to connect with your own peeps, consider the following:
For NYC singles who’d like to meet others that share their religion/culture, there are a few upcoming parties worth checking out.......
The Almost-Thanksgiving Holiday Party:
The Holiday Party:
For singles who don’t want to meet other singles but just want to get over their (stunad) ex Italian American Style, join me this Saturday, Nov 22nd, at Barnes & Nobles in Freehold, NJ, from 12-1PM for book signing of How To Get Over Your Ex: A Step By Step Guide To Mend A Broken Heart Italian American Style.
Can't make it out to Jersey? Save The Date: February 5th for my NYC Book Signing Party at The Italian American Museum, followed by A Jewish & Italian Mixer at Goldbar, hosted by David Shapiro and I!