As you can probably imagine, people often tell me what they are looking for in a partner.
A lot of the times, their match preferences can sound a bit cliche—sense of humor, tall, dark, handsome, family-oriented, successful. Do we all want to date the same person?
This week, I’m in NYC—truly in my element! I’m on a biz trip, teaching aspiring entrepreneurs about starting businesses in the love industry. Yesterday, I taught the matchmaker training-as the kick-off to The Matchmaking Institute’s International Matchmaker & Dating Coaches Conference-and talked a lot about what constitutes a good match.
On the regular, people tell me who they want, and I tell them who is good for them.
Chemistry. Compatibility. Similar Values. Lifestyle. Complementary Personality. Attachment Style. Vision for Future. There is a lot to consider.
While what is romantically attractive is largely subjective, there are some things that we can all agree are unattractive. I’ve had thousands of conversations with people about relationship turnoffs, and there is one type of person who turns off virtually everyone.
Without a doubt, if you are heavily invested in always being right, you are doing your love life a real disservice. Not only do people dislike this type of arrogance, they often see it as a relationship non-starter. Because if the Know It All always needs to be right, then they must think that you are……wrong. Who wants to feel like they are inferior all the time?
The not-so-secret-secret is: We want to be romantically involved with people who make us feel good about ourselves. A relationship with a partner who makes us feel bad on a regular basis typically has a short shelf life. Being a know-it-all- is the enemy of connection.
So the next time you are searching for the evidence to prove someone wrong, remember that you are literally repelling people. Would you rather be right and alone? Or wrong and loved?
Fyi, you can be right and loved too…..
In fact, sometimes being “wrong” in relationships makes everything in your life right.