Do you remember when you were a teenager and you started reading all those magazine articles about how to get him to like you? Ask you on a date? Make him feel special? Get him to commit? If you were shy, you’d try to be more outgoing and flirty ..….
If you were overweight, you’d try to shed the pounds …….
If you were needy, you’d try to tone it down……
You’d make all these changes to modify yourself to appeal to him. The thing is: You do not exist to please men! Making changes in your looks and behavior is more beneficial if you are making those changes because they appeal to YOU.
But, if you are like most women, you do a lot of what you do to please men. And somewhere along the way, you lose sight of what is really important to you. You approach dating with more concern about winning him over than figuring out if he’s actually someone worth the win. You do more to accommodate him than he does to accommodate you. You cater to his schedule more, you commute to him, you decide to put your goals on hold for him. You cook, you clean, you take care of his kids, and you help him in ways that he does not help out. You’ll have what he’s having, and, sure, you will relocate for him.
You’ve been making his needs more important than yours. And, then, you wonder why your relationship is imbalanced or why he’s lost interest. Being accommodating seems like a plus in relationships, unless, of course, you are never accommodated in return. If you don’t make yourself the most important person in your life, who will?
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Rachel Russo Relationships, LLC
28 Valley Road Suite 1
Montclair, New Jersey