Being "stuck" is no walk in the park.
Your mind draws blanks. Your heart races--and breaks. Your veins pop out of your neck. Your remind yourself to breathe. Or something like that!
We’ve all been there—getting stuck is human nature, you know?
It doesn't have to be like this. What if you just planned on getting stuck in dating and relationships?
Because it is bound to happen. You might as well expect it, and hang on for the ride.
You can bet your bottom dollar that there is a solution to every problem. And not just one either! Here are three solutions to three problems that I see happening to those who are dating, in relationships, and (still) single.
When in doubt, just do this.....
What To Do If He Or She Isn’t Texting You
There are few things in life that are more annoying to the relationship-oriented girl or guy than someone who isn’t texting back! As a Matchmaker, Dating & Relationship Coach, as well as a relationship-oriented female myself, I am both professionally and personally acquainted with how widespread and frustrating this behavior-or lack thereof-really is. Whether the guy or girl who is guilty as charged is your partner, the person you’ve been casually dating, or the one you hooked up with last night at the bar, you may find yourself feeling disappointed, depressed, angry, or anywhere in between. While everyone’s circumstances are unique, and there is no-one-size-fits-all approach that is guaranteed to get anyone texting you back, I know some strategies that will be most successful.
Its ironic that my friend and colleague, EZ Dating Coach, Mike Goldstein, just asked me to write about this topic for his blog, because I recently had the unpleasant experience of this happening to me! Stay tuned for my upcoming blog post that will tell you exactly how you can make what worked for me work for you too.
What To Do If You Want To Improve Your Relationship With Someone Who Is Sabotaging Everything
First thing is first: I commend you! Clearly, you are wise enough to know that relationships take work and are willing to put in the work to make yours successful. However, you have to realize that a tremendous amount of effort from both parties is required to truly fix a broken relationship. If you feel like your partner hasn't been pulling his or her weight, you have to get real about how damaged your dynamic really is. Then you have to take an honest assessment of your partner: Does he or she actually have the desire and ability to do what is necessary? Do they understand what they have to do to give you what you want? Do you believe they will take action? Will their action be sustainable, or will they just improve their behavior for the short-term but go right back to their destructive ways? If you need help answering these difficult questions, check out my advice which was recently published in Bustle's 5 Signs Your Partner Doesn't Care Enough About You, According To An Expert.
If you decide you care enough to give the relationship a fighting chance, tell your partner how you feel and what you expect of him or her. If it seems his/heart isn't in it, don't try to force things. You'd be better off to let it go-as much as it may hurt-and focus on yourself and the whole-getting-over-your-ex-thing. As I've realized, the people who are meant to be in your life come back--even after you let them go. And if they don't, well, I'd venture to say that there is something better in the cards for you! Let it happen!
What To Do If You Are Single & Want To Discover Why You Really Can't Find/Keep A Relationship
This one is easy. Let's be honest: I probably KNOW. Or I could know if I knew you and your unique circumstances. Having met so many singles, I am quickly able to assess whether or not their "match criteria" is reasonable and what their strengths and weaknesses are for finding and keeping the type of relationship they desire. To get to the true answer, I also take a look at their opportunities-or lack thereof-for meeting potential suitors, as well as any threats that are standing in their way. If this sounds interesting to you-and you've been reading this newsletter for some time or just started-you should probably just book a session with me already! You can attempt this as a DIY-project, but be warned: You have limits and blind spots. I promise, it is amazing what an objective perspective can do for you, if you let it!
Speaking of which, if you want some more expert opinions on why everyone is still single in NYC, you can can come get an earful at StandupNY on the evening on Sept 12th , as I sit on the panel of The Great Love Debate-- "a unique, interactive Town-Hall style event where leading local experts and an excited, engaged audience will dish, discuss, dissect, and debate the current state of the date". Fun times, huh? And that's what your love life could be too..........