Once upon a time, I was dating a guy who was really a great catch--minus a few unforgiving "flaws" which have resulted in me no longer dating him.
Although he did well planning dates in the beginning of our relationship, it wasn't long before he started slacking, as many men do once they get comfortable with a woman.
I nicely told him several times that I would appreciate if he could go back to planning in advance, as my schedule is tight and my desire to look forward to our date nights is high. I also shared that advanced planning makes me feel more respected and valued. After these "talks" he'd apologize and go back to asking me out ahead of time for a week or two, but then he would revert back to his non-committal ways.
How could this be? Had I gotten involved with the "stunad" that I wrote about in How To Get Over Your Ex: A Step By Step Guide To Mend A Broken Heart Italian American Style ?
Oh, hell no.
If my honest straightforward approach of telling him what I wanted wasn't working, I would have to pull out the big guns. Because actions do speak louder than words.....
I'd have to start being unavailable. While I never accepted his last minute plans, I always offered another day to get together--but no more! I was not going to be around to see him as much. He would learn that if he wanted to see me he would have to make plans ahead of time. After all, I wasn't just dating to date. I wasn't doing research like I did with my ninety-two-dates-in-one-year-reality-date-a-thon either. I was dating because I wanted a serious, committed relationship that could work out for the long term.
I was doing this on purpose. Because I was dating with a purpose.
Now, I am sharing my insight on how to be a purposeful dater with others. If you are in or near NYC, I invite you to come on over and join in on the fun!
Next week, on Tuesday, March 29th, I will be joining three other awesome experts on Dating Panel II, hosted by The Date Meister, discussing all kinds of issues that people face in their love lives today.
Check out the details here .
And while you are at it, why don't you tell me what you did on purpose in the comments below or via email at Rachel@RachelRusso.com?