Cheers to more healthy, happy relationships in the world! In life, things sometimes go wrong so that you can appreciate them when they're right! At times, your love life can seem really unhealthy. But this doesn't mean you won't be in a relationship that can turn out to be healthy and happy. What's "healthy" and "happy" anyway?
Let me tell you what it isn't: Listening to other people who have no idea what is healthy and happy for you.... tell you what is healthy and happy for you. Same goes for those who say that a woman has to know right away whether or not a man is the man for her. Sure, some women will tell you they “just know” he was The One from the minute they met him. But the truth is, there are plenty more women who didn’t know they’d have a real future with a guy until many months or even years into the relationship.
In fact, as a matchmaker with over fourteen years of experience, I have talked to a lot of women about how they met their man. Asking older women how they met their husbands is one of my favorite pastimes! And I can’t tell you how many women I meet who say “I didn’t even LIKE my husband when I first met him.” Men really do grow on women. (It has even happened to me!) So, not instantly knowing that a relationship is right for you is NOT a sign that you will not be in a healthy and happy relationship! It can all work out magically--if you pay attention to the signs that you are on the right track.
Now, on to those ways you can know that a relationship can be healthy and happy for you :
You feel happy and content most of the time that you are with your partner. No relationship is perfect, and there will inevitably be things that your partner does to frustrate, sadden, or anger you, but for the most part you will feel at peace in a healthy relationship. Even when there are awkward silences or uncomfortable conversations, it still feels “right”.
You are confident that your match is good for you because you regularly feel really good around each other. You have fun together and probably haven’t had as much fun-for as long as you have- with many others! (And not just when you are doing fun things, but even doing routine errands or waiting on line at the grocery store.) You can be together in the same room-not even talking to each other- just doing your own thing and still feel happy and connected.
You are integrated into each other’s life.
When you are in the right relationship, you feel like you have a true life partner. You do not feel alone--like your partner is still acting single when you are a couple. This means that you are included in each other's daily life. You have regular communication via text, phone, and in person. You know the little and big things that are going on with each other. You spend time together. He/she wants you to take an interest in their hobbies and vice versa. You meet each other's friends and family. You are both eager to make these introductions because you want everyone to get to know each other. You get the sense that he/she wants to include you in every part of life. Of course, you will spend holidays together.
While your partner may have friends that he/she sees separately or interests you don't share, you know about them. By the way, this is healthy--as you’ll need to maintain some sense of independence. What isn’t healthy is to feel lonely lying right next to someone. If you have found the right match, you’ll be confident that this will never or rarely happen.
You have physical chemistry and can’t get enough of each other! The one thing that separates a platonic friendship from a romantic relationship: Chemistry! While it isn’t everything, it is part of the glue that can hold a couple together during tough times. Sex drives wax and wane in life, but mostly, you feel desire for your partner and are confident that you always will. Because you find him/her physically attractive, cute, funny, and with the energy that just melts your heart. You want to be close. You are affectionate, and you love being intimate. Maybe you still feel butterflies every time you touch. You are both really into it most of the time. Perhaps, you can’t even picture yourself wanting to be with anyone else.
You make each other want to be a better person. When you’ve met your match, you are in a relationship that is truly healthy and empowering! Despite the challenges and bad times, you don’t want to give up--in life in general or on the relationship. You feel inspired to overcome your greatest fears and hardships, because you have a supportive partner by your side who makes you want to be the best version of yourself. And you do the same for your partner. You notice that you are more motivated to cut bad habits, take better care of yourself, earn more money, be a kinder person, etc. You want to live your best life and you want to be the best version of yourself..together.
So, there you have it. If you are in a relationship with these four characteristics, my vote is to never let it go!
Are you in a relationship that is less than healthy? Struggling to find a relationship to begin with?Let me coach you on how to find or keep your true match by helping you figure out a plan to conquer whatever is standing in the way of true happiness in relationships. Sessions are normally priced at $250 for an hour long video or phone chat, but if you book by March 24th, you can enjoy $125 in savings.
You can book directly-and make a secure credit card payment through Square-on my booking site here.
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© Copyright Rachel Russo
Rachel Russo Relationships, LLC
28 Valley Road Suite 1
Montclair, New Jersey