Not Just Another Happy Holidays

As the holiday greetings flood our inbox, and we are prompted to send a card to yet another person we haven't seen in months, we are reminded that this is the season of giving.

As I said in a recent media interview, the best "present" we can give anyone else is the ability to be present and loving in our relationships. Yet many of us are slacking in relationships with friends, family, and romantic partners. Some of us are so bad at being in the moment and treating people with kindness that Santa would surely put coal in our stockings.

When we are broken- hearted, we push away those who care about us most. Whether we don't want them to see our weakness or hate to burden them with our misery, we disconnect from them. We focus so much on the person missing from our life that we don't acknowledge the amazing individuals who were there cheering us on all along.

When we are single without any prospective NYE dates in sight, we sometimes get disillusioned with the holidays. We decide NYE is just another night when there is no one special to share it with. So instead of calling up all the friends we've had special bonds with in the past and present, we make no plans. We either say "eff" it all and ring in the new year in our pajamas with Ben & Jerry or do something lame at the last minute with someone else who thinks holidays are only worth celebrating when we have an other half.

And when we do have an other half, well, we tend to take them for granted in the middle of all the holiday-party-shopping-decorating-madness. We might make them string the lights on the Christmas tree alone after ten years of marriage or decide a Christmas tree is too much effort after twenty.

Well, newsflash: The holidays and the relationships you have with the people you spend them with are not meant to be half-assed! My advice during this time of year is to treat the people in your life in the best way you can. It will make you feel better about love and life--no matter what your status. By the way, if your status is broken-hearted, now is as good of time to get over your ex as any!

In the meantime, in the spirit of giving, I am offering complimentary fifteen minute consultations for any of my newsletter subscribers who could use some advice in the relationship department. Just email me at [email protected] before the end of 2014 to reserve your spot! If you aren't subscribed, you can subscribe today on this website for free once- weekly posts delivered to your inbox, with love.

 And, oh: Happy Holidays!