Originally published in the November edition of Our Town Magazine
Do you ever notice that people start putting things off until the new year—right about now? They may squeeze in doctor appointments in hope of meeting deductibles, but business projects, diets, home renovations, etc., they all begin in 2023.
There’s also a slowdown-but definitely not a lockdown -when it comes to how people do dating, relationships, and marriage during the holiday season.
Sure it is engagement season (no pressure!) and no one likes to be alone during the holidays, but it is also an awkward, anxiety-provoking time that makes some singles, well, just want to stay single.
For the newly dating, the vibe can be high pressure.
Should I buy her a present ? How much do I spend without looking cheap or overly interested? What do I wear to the family dinner? Do I really have to go to this only after a month of dating? Will we spend New Year’s Eve together?
I think its pretty easy to understand why some put dating apps on hold, and others run back into the arms of their ex.
The devil you know is better than the devil you don’t know, right?! Highly debatable, but I digress….
In the matchmaking world, many clients assume everyone is traveling, so we sign contracts for membership now and start fresh in the new year.
For some of the “married folk”—including those who were lucky enough to meet organically or in an AOL chat room twenty-three years ago:
The holidays aren’t a walk in the park either. Let’s just say you wouldn’t be the first person to dread attending your spouse’s annual company Christmas party.
Wait, am I allowed to say Christmas party?
Then there are fights over the finances, the gift-giving, the division of labor, and which family you are spending which holiday with which year.
For couples on the brink of a breakup or divorce, it is really not the most wonderful time of year. Some of you may choose to procrastinate cutting ties with a partner, because you think it is kinder thing to do. While your desire to avoid ruining a holiday is noble, there is no good time to end a relationship—especially when the other party doesn’t welcome its’ dissolution.
Considering the way the holiday season slowdown impacts people-no matter what their marital status-chances are something I’ve shared resonates with you.
If you are wondering what to do, I say: Do what you want during the holidays—and always.
Our love lives aren’t always rainbows and butterflies; cobwebs and nasty bugs can creep in at anytime. Relationship don’t permanently change just because the calendar says it is time to drink eggnog with Aunt Gertrude—in your ugly Christmas sweater.
But they could change if you actually commit to your New Year’s resolution. Life is short, so seize the day. And, you, know, have the happiest of holidays!
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© Copyright Rachel Russo
Rachel Russo Relationships, LLC
28 Valley Road Suite 1
Montclair, New Jersey