On Figuring Out What Really Matters In Life

Last. Blog. Post. Of. The. Year.

For whoever needs to hear this:

Shortly after trading in my usual “quarantined work from home look”, and getting camera ready for an interview with a casting producer, I thought about all the things that didn’t matter for me this year.

Makeup. Nail Polish. Pants With Zippers.  
And the people and activities that were just “fillers”.

Then, there were the things that mattered a lot.
Daily walks. A good Wi- Fi connection. Hand Sanitizer. Curbside Pickup.
Staying connected to true friends and close family members.

Relationships-even when they looked very different-are what really mattered to many of us in 2020.  

​The desire for human connection was evident to me in speaking to my matchmaking clients who were willing to embrace video dating when dating was “cancelled”. Or dress, mask up, and have dinners in parking lots-with strangers from online dating sites-when the restaurants re-opened for outdoor dining.

In the safe space of coaching and therapy sessions, my clients talked about the pain of isolation. Or the dissatisfaction with being stuck in an unhealthy relationship. 
They contacted their exes, wasted time swiping, repeatedly fought with their partner, or just numbed out with sweets, alcohol, porn, Netflix, or their preferred drug of choice. When they weren’t feeling connected, it felt harder to cope with all the adversity. They needed an escape.

In the midst of the holiday season-with the pandemic still raging on- I am again reminded of how important maintaining healthy relationships is to staying sane while navigating the pandemic life. 

Has cultivating both platonic and romantic relationships been one of your priorities too? Or have you taken a hiatus? How has this all worked out for you? Somewhere between the struggle being real and a walk in the park, perhaps?

The truth is: There were a lot of priorities that got twisted for people in this first year of the new decade. Many of us have never been more alone. We were scrolling for the latest election news, freaking out about the spread of the virus, crushing cardboard boxes from Amazon, managing remote learning, and dealing with the overwhelm of Zoom meetings. Some of us have lost sight of what is important, because we just didn’t have the experiences that allowed us to regroup. 

Often the “game changers” are those interactions that let us experience ourselves in relation to others. With the general consensus being that everyday seemed the same and that there wasn’t much to look forward to socially, we’ve needed each other more than ever. But we were “together, apart”, as they’ve said. 

As we continue on throughout the holiday season and close out this year, I invite you to take stock of your priorities and celebrate all the important relationships in your life. Do you know who matters, who never did, and who always will?

Wouldn’t it be great if we can take some time now to figure out who and what really matters? To make a plan to manifest our vision for love and life in the new year? To just learn to be happy-together or alone-in this moment? 

​If you need help on that quest, just book a Strategy Session here for 2021. I’d love to “see” you then and guide you along the way.

Meantime, be well. Enjoy the holidays.  And know that you are probably doing the best you can.....

XoXo, Rachel