I don't know about you, but I really like productivity. While I see the value in leaving some things up to God/The Universe, I also appreciate the fact that x + y = z.
People tend to get a little lazy with their love life over the summer. They think that just because the sun is shining, a new love will show up or sparks will be rekindled in their relationship.
Sure, some of us get lucky. But the reality is much less gltiz and glam for most. It is more like blood, sweat, and tears. Maintaining a long term relationship takes work. Today is my parents' thirty-seventh wedding anniversary! Trust me, I have seen it firsthand.
I believe that we (mostly) have success, because we do THE WORK---even in our love lives where we think things are supposed to naturally fall into place if we are with the right person.
If you are looking for something practical that you can do to jumpstart success in your love life right now, I have three ideas for you. No affirmations required...
#1 Stop listening to the wrong people.
There is a lot of bad relationship advice out there. A LOT! From your friends who project issues from their own relationships into yours to really generic-sounding tips that are posted on Instagram, it can mess with your head!
Instead of asking everyone and their mother for their opinions on your latest dating saga, mostly seek counsel from: 1.Experts 2. People who have the love life that you want
If you want to really jumpstart things by getting advice from experts-and you do because you are reading this-make sure you listen to the audio and video interviews I put out there too, as I share all my freshest ideas.
The latest I did just came out today on a great podcast, Simple Self Mastery with Mike Miller. You can download my episode 055 on Matchmaking, Dating, & Breakups on Soundcloud here or on iTunes. (Of course you can feel free to subscribe and comment if you like :)
#2: Ask yourself the most important question.
What it all boils down to is this: What do you really want?
You must realize that in any dating situation or relationship, there WILL be some type of compromise.
If you have been single forever and want to be in a relationship, you do not have to "settle" but you do have to compromise on something. It is often making a choice between two contradictory things. I recently read this awesome article, "When do you give up and marry a resume instead of a soulmate?", that really puts things into perspective.
If you want to have success in your love life, you must fearlessly acknowledge and accept the truth. And you must ask questions like the questions in that article to get to the truth.
#3 Do something-anything-to get you closer to your #RelationshipGoals
Rome wasn't built in a day! You have to start somewhere.... Time is non-negotiable. Things take time, and every second that you are not doing something to bring you closer to the goals you have for your love life is a waste of time.
Once you know what you really want, you can start the process of figuring out how to get it. Again, you have to get really honest.....
Like, is it really possible for you to meet your future husband when you over-focus on your career, only go out to places that do not attract high quality men, or do not go out at all, and refuse to download a dating app? Or would it be better for you to let a matchmaker set you up--no cost to you?
Do you stay with a man/ woman in a dead-end relationship just hoping things will get better with time? Or would it be better for you to do a consultation with a coach and make a plan for figuring this thing out once and for all?
Okay, okay, it is clear that I am offering you the advice and the resources. Will choose productivity? Or sit right back down where you were and forget all about this email?
Its' your life. And its up to YOU!