At some point in your life, you will probably have to look for a job, place to live, or person to love.
Sometimes, you may even end up looking for all three simultaneously. As people call you cray-cray.
Whether you intend to or not, you might get stressed out. Let’s face it, life transitions and searches for that which can potentially make or break your happiness are pretty, ummm, stressful.
Recently, I sat down with Heather Cooper, a seasoned Licensed Real Estate Salesperson at Town Real Estate, and I realized that we speak a common language. In other words, there are things that Heather and I both “get” that could help those searching for a home and/or someone to come home to—especially in good ol’ NYC. Clearly, there are similarities between what she does in real estate and I do as a matchmaker. Not to mention, the parallels we share with those who have a career in human resources!
Whether you are looking for a career change, apartment, or your last first date, keep in mind the following not-so-secret-secret for success: You could have already found something great if you would only stop being so damn picky. And you should probably just stop already, because the grass isn’t always greener.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not suggesting that you settle. Knowing your must-haves, preferences, and deal breakers are the key to finding happiness in whatever it is that you are looking for. But having a laundry list of unrealistic criteria isn’t.
Heather and I both know what it takes to get our clients the home or relationship of their dreams, but sometimes our clients have no idea. Surely, we try to bring their sky-high expectations down to earth as we build a rapport with them.
In the real estate world, people typically want what is priced much higher than their budget allows and they don’t always understand that they can’t get it at the price they want. Heather says: “Everyone wants bells and whistles, but they don’t want to pay for bells and whistles.” She strives to give clients what they want but also sees it as her job to encourage them to be a little more open minded. This can mean anything from asking them to think about an apartment on York Ave to encouraging them to reconsider swearing off walkups forever. She finds that people can find a place that makes them happy if they bend just a little bit.
Likewise, as a modern day love broker, I am all too familiar with the lists that single men and women cling to. I know countless men and women who want to date those significantly younger, richer, thinner, and/or more attractive without bringing something to the table that is desirable for such people. These are the guys who make themselves five inches taller on their Match.com profile, hoping they can compensate with a fancy dinner. And the women who hope their beautifully-lined- big-brown-eyes will distract a guy from the twenty extra pounds that weren’t apparent in their Tinder photos. Newsflash: This never happens.
Lately more than ever, I encourage people to think outside the list and be open to new possibilities. I find that some of my clients initially have problems trusting me to know what is good for them. But after a while they come around and see that anyone I introduce them to might just turn out to be the one that they never knew they always wanted.
The truth is: Sometimes you never know.
Did you ever find something great in your personal or professional life by being less picky? Please share your comments on this blog post below.
As always, if you are looking for love, contact me at Rachel@RachelRusso.com to be considered for my database of eligible bachelors and bachelorettes.
If you are looking for a NYC real estate professional who will deliver, you can learn more about
Heather at the link here http://www.townrealestate.com/representatives/heather-m-cooper-700/. Contact her at HCOOPER@TOWNREALESTATE.COM
6/12/2014 03:17:12 pm
People who cannot settle are deceiving themselves when they say they are looking for a relationship. When people are seriously, legitimately looking, they usually find a mate within a year or two in my experience.
6/13/2014 03:25:12 am
Thanks for sharing, Brad! I tend to agree with you. Sometimes people think they are really looking for a relationship, but they aren't ready.
6/19/2014 07:58:31 am
I think for all three looking for a job, an apartment and a relationship it has gotten much harder because people are looking for something perfect. News flash life isn't perfect
6/20/2014 04:33:03 am
Amen to that, Melis!
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Rachel Russo Relationships, LLC
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