Surprise, surprise: Even some of the people with the most beautiful-happily-ever-after-love-stories didn't have perfect beginnings.
They didn't know the perfect things to say and sometimes talked with their mouths open on first dates at overcrowded tapas restaurants with subpar ceviche.
They didn't enter the dating scene with knowledge of what they were really looking for in a match or the skills to actually keep the person they stumbled upon who was everything they never knew they always wanted.
And they most definitely didn't snap their fingers to the most magical wedding proposal that occurred between Christmas and New Year's Eve and resulted in decades of relational bliss + non-Colic babies who grow up to be supermodels and Harvard grads.
No one has the perfect love story because their relationship is the epitome of perfection. Instead, perfect love stories are created because people realize they are imperfect but worthy of love anyway. They upgrade their love lives by focusing on achieving what they desire--despite all the blemishes and bruises they encounter along the way.
Want to apply this concept to your love life? Well, I'm happy to be your not-so-secret Santa (or at least the sexy elf) and give you the tools you'll need to make it all shine brighter than those Christmas lights in Dyker Heights Brooklyn!
My suggestions for upgrading your love life-no matter what your status-this holiday season are as follows:
Single & Thinking You Should Mingle: Think out of the box to attract an extraordinary love or just do something different so your next relationship isn't same s**t, different day! Wear a crazy red Christmas suit like this random guy I met on the train, attend a holiday party solo, or God forbid, date in your hometown--but not before you read these tips.
Kinda Dating: Whatever you do, don't let the holidays define your relationship. With all the expectations and pressures of gift giving and introductions to the family that come this time of year, it's no wonder it is breakup season. The way to prevent your non-relationship-relationship from becoming another Christmas casualty: Stop thinking about what you *should* be doing and let things unfold naturally. Just because Susie's boyfriend bought her the 5K Channel bag from Saks doesn't mean you won't get it ..next year. You just aren't there yet. Enjoy where you are at. But, umm, don't hold your breath for Channel.
A Heartbroken Hot Mess: It's hard to be in the spirit when you are devastated by a recent breakup. Just remember this too shall pass and you might as well enjoy the holidays because even if you don't, you are still not getting your relationship back. Unless of course your ex comes back, in which you should most likely turn off the Mariah Carey's All I Want For Christmas Is You, spike that eggnog, and sit down by the fire with my Italian American themed breakup advice book so you could decide if you should get over your ex or brace yourself to get back on the roller coaster.
Committed/Married: This isn't your first time at the rodeo so you know the holidays can take a toll on your relationship. Just understand your triggers and avoid them like that annoying relative who is always asking to be your house guest right about now. For instance, if you are already irritated with your hubby, you should know that a trip to the mall could be all you need to put your relationship over the edge. The lines are long, your bags are heavy, and if that b***h with the backpack hits you one more time, you are going to take your shopping cart and ......
Look just don't take it out on your spouse. Keep calm and carry on and be grateful for the fact that you don't have to experience the crazy season alone.
And that my friend is how you upgrade your love life. So take what you will from this Christmas love story and pass it on to a friend who needs to get the message. Always remember that love, life, nor the holidays are perfect, but enjoy them anyway.
And a very merry Christmas to all!
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© Copyright Rachel Russo
Rachel Russo Relationships, LLC
28 Valley Road Suite 1
Montclair, New Jersey