Contrary to the popular belief of many people who live outside of NYC, The Big Apple -which was recently voted the third best city to find love-is not a place full of happy single New Yorkers who are psyched to date.
In fact, the city is largely filled with stressed-out-workaholics who barely have time to shave and wash their underwear! Although Sex & The City made it seem as if the lives of single women are all glitz and glam, for most, dating is nothing more than squeezing in a bunch of drinks with a bunch of uninspiring strangers into a schedule that is already jam-packed with meetings, social events, and work responsibilities. In other words, the motivation to dress up and look cute in nine degree weather for a random guy from Bumble-who met four other random girls this week- is understandably low.
Everyone says that dating is just a number game, and many regard it is a necessary evil. Even Rebel Wilson character in the new How To Be Single (which might be a more realistic portrayal of modern day dating admits: "I love relationships") In a city of endless options, I say: How about just picking one and trying to make it work?
Reaaaally? What's so bad about that? Maybe there is something to be said for putting all your eggs in one basket, after all.
Wouldn't we all be more psyched to have date nights with someone we are comfortable and familiar with? Someone we already know we are attracted to. Someone we are sure to have a good time with--even if they start doing that annoying thing again we have (sometimes) grown to love.
One of the number one things I learned in over a decade of matchmaking-a career that I've loved and have recently talked about in length on an episode of Brooklyn Savvy-is that a lot of people would be a lot happier if they just ended their serial dating stint and picked someone halfway decent to settle down with! And you know...settled down already.
I think that there are a lot of important things to look for in a partner--like common values, desire for a similar lifestyle, the tendency to not...act like a sociopath, etc. I don't want to minimize the importance of choosing well when it comes to your life partner, because that choice really can be endless. However, I do want to share that maybe-just maybe-the person that is right in front of us-can be the person for us! Maybe with a few minor tweaks or maybe even just as they are.
While no one has all the answers to achieving relational bliss, picking someone and committing to work on making that relationship work would sure solve the problem of being stuck in the God-awful dating scene.
What do you think? Do you want to retire from the modern day dating scene? Are you at the point in which you would settle down with someone halfway decent and make it work? Or are you holding out for that perfect 10?
Send me your thoughts at Rachel@RachelRusso.com or comment below.