Ya'll ready for this?
I'm about to spill the beans!
But first some context.....
Last night, I co-hosted a pre-Valentine's Day workshop and mixer at The Core Club in New York City. At this private members-only-event, single men and women really opened up about the challenges they faced in dating and relationships.
They even answered uber-personal questions that were placed on the back of these chocolate hearts. The questions were designed not only to break the ice but to help people flirt. How fun is that? Some say laughter is the best medicine, but I say it is flirting.
Anyway, as it turns out, one of the best flirting techniques discovered was simply being totally open and authentic--showing warts and all. As one woman asked: "Who knew vulnerability was the ultimate accessory?"
Well, actually, I kind of did. I mean, its nothing that ten+ years in the matchmaking and dating industry wouldn't reveal.....
Vulnerability makes you attractive to others, because it shows that you are real. And most people-excluding those in Los Angeles- like to be in relationships with people who are real. Because they relate. To the imperfections. To the TMI (too much information). To the secretly being happy that your ex liked and then unliked that photo that was deep into your Instagram page. (Now, let's be honest: The latter is what is realllllly the best thing ever, but if it makes you want to go back to said ex, you should, you know, totally read my book.)
If you want to find or keep true love, you absolutely have to be vulnerable. You have to trust someone who is pointing a gun at your heart-like I was (OMG!) pointing this gun-not to pull the trigger.
If you can be vulnerable, your relationships will always be exciting. If you can't be vulnerable, you just may be destined to boring, sex-less Valentine's Days for the rest of your life.
The choice is yours.
And a Happy Valentine's Day to you too!