Long-lasting relationships have a foundation of truth and trust. People often say that honesty is the best policy, and I agree with that--not just because it's easy to forget the lies.
Sometimes, though, it is really tough to tell the truth. It often seems easier to tell a half-truth. Or to think that you don't owe anyone a real explanation.
I get it: Honesty can make us feel more uncomfortable than a pair of stilettos after a night of dancing on chairs at Bagatelle and booths at Le Souk. (Not that I ever did that...Wink. Wink.)
Have you ever gotten really anxious over having to tell someone close to you something that would be taken negatively? Even though the scenario you built up in your head was probably worse than the reality of telling that person the truth, I am willing to bet it was still pretty uncomfortable.
Despite these temporary feelings of discomfort that will occur when we get real with people in our lives, it is best to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Even when it hurts. Especially when it hurts, perhaps.
Are you wondering why its best to have integrity and not just do whatever the (bleep) you'd like in this life?
Well, when you lie to people, you suffer. And the people you lie to suffer too. When you lie to yourself, it's even worse.
Hey, you over there. Don't think keeping the truth to yourself isn't a lie. Lies by omission can be just as destructive to relationships. ( I see you!)
When you ignore the problems in your relationship, bad things happen--like affairs. If you would just tell the damn truth, maybe you wouldn't be that guy writing in to my He Said/She Said column at this messy link here.
Look, I don't make this stuff up! I'm just the messenger here. This tale is as old as time. Back to The Bible, in fact.
"The one who lives with integrity lives securely, but whoever perverts his ways will be found out."
- Proverbs 10:9 Holman CSB
Hmmmm....isn't security what long-lasting relationships are about?
If you want to secure a long-lasting relationship but have been unsuccessful, is it possible that you aren't living in integrity?
What does living in integrity look like for you? How would your life be different if you started being who you are on the inside on the outside 24/7? Most importantly, what are you waiting for? Tell me in the comments below.
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Rachel Russo Relationships, LLC
28 Valley Road Suite 1
Montclair, New Jersey