You need what makes you happy. There, I said it. Now, let me tell you why..........I had no business getting pneumonia this summer.
I grew up with my mother giving me tablespoons of Cod Liver Oil, eating my fruit before I could have dessert, saying 'No" to drugs, and reading the medical book like it was part of the Harry Potter series. (Clearly, I was before Harry's time.)
As an adult, I am pescetarian with a mostly vegan diet. On a daily basis, I drink eight glasses of water, get eight hours of sleep, and take more vitamins and supplements than I can fit in a pill box. I take probiotics instead of antibiotics. I don't smoke cigarettes or abuse drugs. I drink more green juice than vodka. I work out several times a week. And I think its okay to have the salad on a date.
I do yoga, I do Zumba, I meditate, and I write down my stresses in a cute, pink journal. I always wear sunscreen. I try alternative medicines, say positive affirmations, and remove toxins as well as toxic people from my life. I follow a to do list, have a great support system, and am able to give and receive love. And PS: I've never even had bronchitis.
So how the **** did I get pneumonia?
The point of this isn't to figure out the cause of my illness-which is finally cured, thank you-it is to illustrate that I am an example of someone doing nearly everything one can to create and maintain physical, mental, and emotional health--who getting it all right still gets sick.
Before you think that I am suggesting that you cancel your gym membership to binge on booze and French fries because what you do doesn't really matter, allow me to clarify.
It does matter. Most of it matters. Most the time. Like maybe if I wasn't so healthy, I would have had a more serious case of pneumonia and a longer recovery time. Yet some stuff, in the scheme of things, really doesn't matter. So go for the French fries every now and then.
Sometimes, doing what isn't "right" but would make you happy turns out to be right, after all.
This isn't just about me giving you permission to finish that entire order of disco fries. It is about me giving you permission to give yourself permission to LIVE YOUR LIFE.
Especially when it comes to love.
Dating and relationship rules are great. They are useful. They keep people from acting batshit crazy. But sometimes they should be thrown out the window. Along with "check lists" for marriage partners, "scripts" for what one should say and do in every stage of the relationship, and expectations from the friends and family who will never have to live with the choices you make in your love life.
Those things may or may not bring you what you want in your love life. Sometimes, you can be single and ready to meet The One. You could be visualizing your soul mate, and blocking all of your exes from social media--cause you understood me when I told you to fuggedaboudit! You could be putting yourself "out there", having the right body language and not giving your body to anyone or everyone. You could be waiting for someone special.
You could be doing all these RIGHT things and still not meet anyone dateable--let alone The One. Other times, you could be doing all the WRONG things-even, God forbid, sleeping with your ex in a drunken stupor before puking in a public place--only to find that the guy holding back your hair is your future husband. (By the way, this is NOT based on a true story!)
Some things are just meant to be, while some things aren't. Maybe its fate. Maybe its just the luck of the draw.
Lately, I've been thinking that if you really want to hit the jackpot in love, you should quit doing what is right sometimes and start doing what makes you happy. If they are the same thing, well, congratulations! You just won the lottery!
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Rachel Russo Relationships, LLC
28 Valley Road Suite 1
Montclair, New Jersey