Many young women feel the pressure “to settle down”. Whether the story they imagine unfolding in early adulthood includes a white picket fence or the penthouse, it usually involves a man, a ring, and a child or two—or more. You know, The Fairytale.

But what happens when things change course, and it doesn’t seem like the dream of becoming a mom is anywhere in sight? In other words, what do modern single women do when they are getting past the age where having biological babies is feasible?

More and more are freezing their eggs—which can be a great thing to do, but it is certainly no insurance. 

Of course, many turn to online dating apps and get into matchmakers’ databases in hopes of meeting an eligible bachelor before the clock stops ticking. I know this, because I am seeing many women apply to my own complimentary database at my boutique relationship consultancy, Rachel Russo Relationships, every day—and more so, lately, during “Love Month”. Younger women wanting kids. Older women wanting kids. There are a lot of women really trying to meet that man who is on the same page about wanting a family, yesterday.

I feel for those women. I was one of those women—until I wasn’t. Until I decided to take an alternate route. For some brave ladies, there is a new way to find your person—and it is after you have had your baby! As you may know, I took this road less travelled and have lived to write about it.

Last month, a journalist from Yahoo Life reached out to interview me for her piece regarding dating for solo moms by choice. I was happy to see this article with my insights-and those of other solo moms-came out this week, on Valentine's Day. Everything written here --totally relatable to me!

Its so awesome to have a community of other like-minded women who have decided to make this unique-and increasingly more popular-lifestyle choice. A lot of people have been referring me friends who are in the thinking stage. Some have even reached out on social media and hired me for consults.

I am so open to connect with any woman who is contemplating this rewarding and challenging path of having a baby on her own—and worrying what dating looks like after.

Personally, I am fully enjoying my little one, throwing myself into my work, and focusing on my own dating (a little!) later in the game. As for getting to be a woman who is defying society’s expectations-well that’s just the icing on the cake and the result of fighting for my own fairytale!

In honor of Valentine’s Day, I thought I’d share some things I have learned about love:

1. Some of the most basic things in life are the ones that can make us the most happy. Like: Something to eat. Something to drink. Someone to love. Someone to love is actually first, but pizza is a close second.
2. A lot of singles start feeling bad about themselves right about now, but it doesn’t have to be this way! Being in a relationship is just one way of doing life. Being single is another. Neither lifestyle is actually better than the other for all people, all of the time. You can definitely love yourself and your life, uncoupled.
3. Men are not projects. Men are not projects. Men are not projects. That is something I wish my younger self knew. All the time and energy spent trying to fix broken men…SMH! It could have been spent on me—on doing more for my own happiness and on building my own empire. PS: Women aren’t projects either.
4. If I had one message to give younger men and women looking for love: Love yourself first. Work on you. Then find your person to love. I’m a huge fan of coaching AND matchmaking. Preferably coaching before matchmaking.  The best version of yourself attracts the best partner.
5. Love attracts more love. There are many forms of love to celebrate around February 14th. While the focus is on romance, its always a good idea to be grateful for all the relationships that make you happy—whether its those with your family of origin, best friends, kids, or pets. 
6. There is no woman a man is more into than one he hasn’t slept with yet! (Sounds harsh or like a joke, but, there is some truth to this, indeed.) 
7. Love for a child is more likely to be unconditional than romantic love. Even though I help people find romantic love for a living, I decided to take a hiatus after my last relationship didn’t work out—knowing having a man isn’t the end all, be all.  I had a baby on my own via donor conception and that is one type of love which will always be unconditional.  I know I made the right decision doing the whole solo mom by choice thing, because I feel more complete and content than ever with my beautiful daughter. (Even though my life is chaotic, every day!)
8. Women could be the key to helping both men and women find love. In this spirit, I am having a Valentine’s Day Giveaway at my boutique relationship consultancy, Rachel Russo Relationships. THE PRIZE: A gift certificate for a one-hour massage at a spa of your choice! (Limit: $250.) Or you can have the cash—because, inflation is real! If you know men who are:  Age 50-60 and open to dating a 55 year- old woman with a teenager, Educated, professional, Based in NYC—or 30 miles from Larchmont, NY please email me at Rachel@RachelRusso.com If your referral goes on a date with my client, you win the prize.
9. You can find love anywhere. Despite all the options for singles in big cities, many struggle with dating for the purposes of marriage and family. Well-thanks, in part, to the popularity of all the dating apps- dating is pretty challenging in the ‘burbs too. Love is hard to find everywhere these days, but, it is totally attainable if you want it badly enough.
10. Life is short. We should fight for love!

Happy Valentine’s Day! 

Got that new moon energy…..new moon in Aquarius came in at 3:55PM EST—just as I had the intuitive nudge to put out a new and inspiring message for all those looking for a shot of hope for their love life!

I’ll be honest: My 2023 did not start off as magically as I would have preferred. In fact, I was so temporarily out of character I didn’t even make an official New Year’s resolution. Or update my blog and newsletter!

Well, onwards and upwards, I’m feeling this new moon energy is going to be transformative for my business in the love industry! I’m feeling confident that I am going to be able to help every single person that comes my way -in some way-for this entire year. That is my intention—to be of service to all who are drawn to working with me in a matchmaking or dating & relationship coaching context. And to learn the lessons that powerful work gives back to me.

I believe those who will be drawn to me will be drawn to me for a reason. I will have something incredibly valuable to offer them. 🙏🏻 Yes! I know it. This new moon is going to help me manifest it.

​Too “woo-woo” for you?! Whether you believe in the power of the new moon or not, it can bring transformation to many areas of your life—including dating and relationships.

My top tip: Set the intention for your love life within the next twenty-four hours. Write it down, and you’ll increase the chances of bringing it to fruition.

Oh, and, if you are single and feeling spontaneous? Go on an impromptu first date. At the very least, fill out a profile in my confidential database. I may have a match for you!

​The new moon is an ideal time to plant the seed for a new relationship. So start planting. Happy New Moon! ❤️

Without a doubt, there are definite challenges to being a woman in America today. 

As a female empowerment advocate, I see a real need for reform in this country. I think it starts with women caring for themselves and demanding better from their partners, from their employers, from their friends, from their family, and from themselves.

When I learn about the current dynamics in the dating world, I see so many women giving away their power for the chance to be in a relationship with men they perceive as high-quality. They fail to realize a quality man would enhance their power--not diminish it. I am committed to helping women realize this and only seek to introduce them to quality men through my matchmaking agency, Rachel Russo Relationships--and only if they are truly ready for a partnership.

That being said, I am currently doing two things to support this mission. You may be able to help connect me-yes, the ultimate connector, ha-with the right women and men who could help me help other women.

Still with me? 

I am excited to announce: I'm planning to conduct a unique social experiment, and I am looking for three single women to participate. I figured I'd put this out there, before I go really public in hopes of finding the right mix of women.

I am looking for women who are:
-Located anywhere in the US, UK, or Canada
- In their late 30s (ideally 38/39) and hoping to find their "person" for marriage in their early 40s
-Coachable- knowing they might have work to do before they find real love
-Willing to share their journey with the other women participating, as well as in a blog, on social media, and press 
-Believe in women supporting other women

Please email me at Rachel@RachelRusso.com for more information or if you or women you know are interested.

2. I am still looking for the right match for, "E",  one of my most extraordinary female clients. I am looking for spiritual/culturally Jewish men in their 50s and early 60s in the NYC tri- state area. If you are a good connector yourself, here are the details.

​Born and raised in Scarsdale, E is from a close-knit Jewish family with loving parents who have been married for fifty-eight years. She remains close with her sister and just adores her nephews.

Fifty-four years young herself, this Westchester- based psychologist and professor decided to take “the road less travelled” both personally and professionally. With a Ph.D from a top university, she’s founded an incredible, successful mental health organization that’s made a huge difference in the the lives of children. Extremely passionate about her work, E has written many papers and given hundreds of talks.

One of her most important gigs: Solo mom by choice to her (now teenage!) daughter. (Yes, I can relate!) What an inspirational role model E is—a trailblazer who lives life on her terms and refuses to get stuck in rigid gender roles. Her positive energy and light shines through to all who are lucky enough to meet her.

A soon-to-be-empty-nester, E is seeking a true partner. At 5’6’’ with a slender and athletic build, he should be able to keep up with her, as she works out regularly with a trainer, hikes, and even paddle-boards. Other interests include dining out, reading, and photography.

Did I mention E loves to travel? A trip to Costa Rica has been one of her favorites. She’d love to collect more stamps on her passport, share common interests, and have a great romance with someone special.

If you know her person, please email me at Rachel@RachelRusso.com  A referral fee of $250 will be offered for any dates I set up for E that are a result of your introduction. And if you think you are her person, by all means, please fill out a form in my confidential database for Rachel Russo Relationships here.
 
'Til then, let's keep trying to make the world a better place by empowering the women in our life. ​

This week, my article, "Why I Prefer To Date Single Dads" was published by HeyBaby--a new dating app for single parents and people who want to date them.

I don't think I'll be interested in seriously dating until my little Serafina is 1-2 years old-right now we are just about six months and starting solids- but it is fun to think about being able to have wine with dinner--and a side of adult conversation in the near(ish!) future!

I think dating dads has so much appeal. If you are a single woman contemplating their value for your love life or a dad who’d enjoy a boost of self-esteem, read this.

This piece came after another recently published article about how becoming a solo mom by choice would actually help-and not hurt-my love life.

Counterintuitive, huh?!

I admit that I was a little worried that it would come across like wishful thinking. This is technically a hypothesis, yes,  but I believe it  has the potential to be absolute truth for many solo moms-including myself-when the time is right.

I do believe there’s a light at the end of the tunnel in dating and relationships for single moms.  Our bundle(s) of joy could potentially also bring  six upgrades to our love life. Check this out for all the details!

Meantime, have a happy Memorial Day weekend—whether you are rocking a dad bod, mom bod, or…working on a summer bod!

Have you come across these dating red flags?

I  have listed four. Number three is my personal favorite! However, there are basically two types of red flags: Red flags for everyone and red flags for you--based on the type of partner and relationship dynamic you desire.
​
It is super-important for you to uncover what you really want in a relationship--by uncovering what you don't want. And, if you don't want an unhealthy relationship, you have to learn to identify both types of red flags and avoid, avoid, avoid anyone who raises them.
In the spirit of doing just that...

I’m co-hosting a three part seminar to help singles figure out their red flags, starting on May 4th, with the first, "How To Identify Dating Red Flags: Signs of A Toxic Partner"! I love talking about this stuff.

This is taking place at 7PM, EST, on Zoom with Dr. Legg, owner of a psychotherapy practice called, The Psych Center, that does Telehealth and in-person psychotherapy in NJ.
To register for event: Call 201 606 2529

More info: PsychCenterSeminars@gmail.com
Or, you know, just email me at Rachel@RachelRusso.com and I will provide you with all the details.
​

My guess is that you have probably heard someone share this quote:
 “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.”
By Albert Einstein. I think.

Well, judging by what I am seeing in terms of dating and relationship trends: There are a lot of insane people out there walking these streets! If you have an internet connection and a shot of courage, you don’t have to be one of them. I have an invitation for you…..

Next month, I'll be co-hosting three virtual seminars with Dr. Brian Legg, Psy. D of The Psych Center to help singles “spring” into love. They will be interactive and educational, fun, hour and a half-conversations in the evenings. We are doing this because we are passionate about helping men and women find healthy relationships.

There has been a lot of focus on people missing the signs of toxic partners lately from social media to documentaries on Netflix. I am not just talking about The Tinder Swindler; have you guys seen Bad Vegan: Fame. Fraud. Fugitive? Wow! I used to dine at that restaurant…..

Here’s the deal: You might *think* you know what red flags to look out for, but your past patterns-relationship history, family dynamics, etc- could be getting in the way. You could be sabotaging and not even know it. Enter, the “love block”. You don’t know what you don’t know.

Finding the right person to be your person is one of the most important decisions you’ll ever make. Are you prepared to make this choice? We are happy to help you-from the comfort of your home-if you’d like to make some changes in your love life by looking at your "stuff".

The cost of these workshops-considering our expertise and the value will be bringing-is an absolute steal!

To register: Call 201 606 2529
For more info: Email PsychCenterSeminars@gmail.com
If there are topics you’d like us to cover or questions you want answered, by all means, email me at Rachel@RachelRusso.com with your request.

But only reach out if you share my penchant for, you know, sanity…..