In honor of the recent National Daughter's Day, I'd like to share not just a photo of my sweet little girl-who I say was born with glitter in her veins- but a bit of hope for all of our daughters today.
The world is changing for women, indeed, and as I referenced in a previous blog—some of the changes aren't so positive. But they aren't all bad.....
In recent years-since the start of the pandemic-the dating landscape has been transformed.
Aside from the obvious trends-including an increase in online dating use and the normalization of “video dates”- there has been a change in the matchmaking industry.
Beautiful, well-educated, working women-moms, ex-wives, and those who never married-are hiring professional matchmakers in record numbers. As a relationship expert with seventeen years of matchmaking and dating coaching experience, I-along with many of my matchmaking colleagues- are finding more women than men are wanting to invest in matchmaking to find “their person”.
Besides running my boutique matchmaking company, Rachel Russo Relationships, I teach a course that I co-developed with the Global Love Institute. It is an online class for entrepreneurs to start up matchmaking businesses that I've taught weekly for over half a decade. Since the pandemic, more of my students are working with female clientele. I've seen colleagues searching for female clients in the private matchmaking industry groups I belong to as well. And, for the first time, I am personally matching an equal number of single men and women.
I was recently asked what I think of this current trend? My response: It is music to my ears!
As a new solo mom by choice- I conceived my adorable baby girl via IVF with donor sperm- I am proud to see that the future of matchmaking, is, in part, female. I enjoy working with strong women who have the courage to be proactive in their love life–matching them with strong men who value and respect them.
As I told Westchester Jewish Life, in a recent article, “It is healthy for both men and women when women don’t conform to rigid gender roles. " Every woman doesn’t want to sit in a matchmaker’s database and wait to be chosen. It is 2022; if she wants to, she can do the choosing.”
Without a doubt, there are definite challenges to being a woman in America today.
As a female empowerment advocate, I see a real need for reform in this country. I think it starts with women caring for themselves and demanding better from their partners, from their employers, from their friends, from their family, and from themselves.
When I learn about the current dynamics in the dating world, I see so many women giving away their power for the chance to be in a relationship with men they perceive as high-quality. They fail to realize a quality man would enhance their power--not diminish it. I am committed to helping women realize this and only seek to introduce them to quality men through my matchmaking agency, Rachel Russo Relationships--and only if they are truly ready for a partnership.
That being said, I am currently doing two things to support this mission. You may be able to help connect me-yes, the ultimate connector, ha-with the right women and men who could help me help other women.
Still with me?
I am excited to announce: I'm planning to conduct a unique social experiment, and I am looking for three single women to participate. I figured I'd put this out there, before I go really public in hopes of finding the right mix of women.
I am looking for women who are:
-Located anywhere in the US, UK, or Canada
- In their late 30s (ideally 38/39) and hoping to find their "person" for marriage in their early 40s
-Coachable- knowing they might have work to do before they find real love
-Willing to share their journey with the other women participating, as well as in a blog, on social media, and press
-Believe in women supporting other women
Please email me at Rachel@RachelRusso.com for more information or if you or women you know are interested.
2. I am still looking for the right match for, "E", one of my most extraordinary female clients. I am looking for spiritual/culturally Jewish men in their 50s and early 60s in the NYC tri- state area. If you are a good connector yourself, here are the details.
Born and raised in Scarsdale, E is from a close-knit Jewish family with loving parents who have been married for fifty-eight years. She remains close with her sister and just adores her nephews.
Fifty-four years young herself, this Westchester- based psychologist and professor decided to take “the road less travelled” both personally and professionally. With a Ph.D from a top university, she’s founded an incredible, successful mental health organization that’s made a huge difference in the the lives of children. Extremely passionate about her work, E has written many papers and given hundreds of talks.
One of her most important gigs: Solo mom by choice to her (now teenage!) daughter. (Yes, I can relate!) What an inspirational role model E is—a trailblazer who lives life on her terms and refuses to get stuck in rigid gender roles. Her positive energy and light shines through to all who are lucky enough to meet her.
A soon-to-be-empty-nester, E is seeking a true partner. At 5’6’’ with a slender and athletic build, he should be able to keep up with her, as she works out regularly with a trainer, hikes, and even paddle-boards. Other interests include dining out, reading, and photography.
Did I mention E loves to travel? A trip to Costa Rica has been one of her favorites. She’d love to collect more stamps on her passport, share common interests, and have a great romance with someone special.
If you know her person, please email me at Rachel@RachelRusso.com A referral fee of $250 will be offered for any dates I set up for E that are a result of your introduction. And if you think you are her person, by all means, please fill out a form in my confidential database for Rachel Russo Relationships here.
'Til then, let's keep trying to make the world a better place by empowering the women in our life.
This week, my article, "Why I Prefer To Date Single Dads" was published by HeyBaby--a new dating app for single parents and people who want to date them.
I don't think I'll be interested in seriously dating until my little Serafina is 1-2 years old-right now we are just about six months and starting solids- but it is fun to think about being able to have wine with dinner--and a side of adult conversation in the near(ish!) future!
I think dating dads has so much appeal. If you are a single woman contemplating their value for your love life or a dad who’d enjoy a boost of self-esteem, read this.
This piece came after another recently published article about how becoming a solo mom by choice would actually help-and not hurt-my love life.
I admit that I was a little worried that it would come across like wishful thinking. This is technically a hypothesis, yes, but I believe it has the potential to be absolute truth for many solo moms-including myself-when the time is right.
I do believe there’s a light at the end of the tunnel in dating and relationships for single moms. Our bundle(s) of joy could potentially also bring six upgrades to our love life. Check this out for all the details!
Meantime, have a happy Memorial Day weekend—whether you are rocking a dad bod, mom bod, or…working on a summer bod!
Have you come across these dating red flags?
I have listed four. Number three is my personal favorite! However, there are basically two types of red flags: Red flags for everyone and red flags for you--based on the type of partner and relationship dynamic you desire.
It is super-important for you to uncover what you really want in a relationship--by uncovering what you don't want. And, if you don't want an unhealthy relationship, you have to learn to identify both types of red flags and avoid, avoid, avoid anyone who raises them.
In the spirit of doing just that...
I’m co-hosting a three part seminar to help singles figure out their red flags, starting on May 4th, with the first, "How To Identify Dating Red Flags: Signs of A Toxic Partner"! I love talking about this stuff.
This is taking place at 7PM, EST, on Zoom with Dr. Legg, owner of a psychotherapy practice called, The Psych Center, that does Telehealth and in-person psychotherapy in NJ.
To register for event: Call 201 606 2529
More info: PsychCenterSeminars@gmail.com
Or, you know, just email me at Rachel@RachelRusso.com and I will provide you with all the details.
My guess is that you have probably heard someone share this quote:
“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.”
By Albert Einstein. I think.
Well, judging by what I am seeing in terms of dating and relationship trends: There are a lot of insane people out there walking these streets! If you have an internet connection and a shot of courage, you don’t have to be one of them. I have an invitation for you…..
Next month, I'll be co-hosting three virtual seminars with Dr. Brian Legg, Psy. D of The Psych Center to help singles “spring” into love. They will be interactive and educational, fun, hour and a half-conversations in the evenings. We are doing this because we are passionate about helping men and women find healthy relationships.
There has been a lot of focus on people missing the signs of toxic partners lately from social media to documentaries on Netflix. I am not just talking about The Tinder Swindler; have you guys seen Bad Vegan: Fame. Fraud. Fugitive? Wow! I used to dine at that restaurant…..
Here’s the deal: You might *think* you know what red flags to look out for, but your past patterns-relationship history, family dynamics, etc- could be getting in the way. You could be sabotaging and not even know it. Enter, the “love block”. You don’t know what you don’t know.
Finding the right person to be your person is one of the most important decisions you’ll ever make. Are you prepared to make this choice? We are happy to help you-from the comfort of your home-if you’d like to make some changes in your love life by looking at your "stuff".
The cost of these workshops-considering our expertise and the value will be bringing-is an absolute steal!
To register: Call 201 606 2529
For more info: Email PsychCenterSeminars@gmail.com
If there are topics you’d like us to cover or questions you want answered, by all means, email me at Rachel@RachelRusso.com with your request.
But only reach out if you share my penchant for, you know, sanity…..
Do you know your dating deal breakers? If you don't, you are dating blindly, and going into each date with eyes wide open could be a lot better for your love life.
Knowing those black or white non-negotiable criteria could help you to:
-Discover what you really want in a relationship
-Avoid wasting time, money, and emotional energy on people who you’d be incompatible with
-Prevent yourself from getting into a toxic relationship or marriage with an unsuitable partner
Being trained as a Marriage & Family Therapist-with more than a couple years of clinicial experience under my belt-I look at relational problems holistically. I see the issues as a result of the systems or institutions--like marriage and family. I have my matchmaking and dating coaching clients try to figure out their own dealbreakers by analyzing their family and relationship history.
Today, I will share a few tips with you, because, well, the world would be a better place if we all avoided our dating deal breakers.
Let's start with where it all began: Your family of orgin. You could really clarify your dating deal breakers by analyzing your family, so, go ahead, have a field day there!
To begin with, you should understand how your parents’ relationship and other models of relationships (in your extended family) impact your ideal relationship vision--i.e. what you want out of your love life.
You can do this by recognizing the positive and/or negative qualities of your parents’ relationship and/or those of other family members. For instance, if you grew up with a controlling mom, you might not want a controlling husband or wife. (And if you do, you might just be a masochist!)
Identifying the dating deal breakers is all about looking for your triggers. Take inventory of the qualities in your parents that would really bother you in partner. Make a list of your parents' "flaws", and, then, avoid, avoid, avoid! Focus on finding someone with the qualities you liked in your family members and ditch those bad ones to avoid the pain. Trust me, if they have bothered you in your family since your childhood, teen years, or early adulthood, they are going to look even worse on a partner.
Healthy relationships don't hurt---at least not all or most of the time. To attract one, your must understand your core values. To do this, you should-you guessed it-look to your family and thevalues that they passed down to you. Choose the ones you want in a romantic relationship, and make sure you are living out those values in your solo life first. Then, it'll be that much easier to find your person and live your best life with him or her.
As you can see, your family provides a lot of clues to discovering what does and doesn't work for your love life. Your own relationship history does too. If you are interested in learning how to discover more of your dating deal breakers by analyzing your relationship history, stay tuned for next week's blog, because I will cover just that. Meantime, be well!
PS: If you’d like help analyzing your dating deal breakers and coming up with a plan for finding or creating a healthier relationship, remember my St. Patrick's Day sale is still going on. I invite you to a half-priced Strategy Session -with an investment of $125-if you book before April 1rst. To learn more, send me an email at Rachel@RachelRusso.com, subject “Lucky” for details.
This St. Patrick’s Day is a special one! Its my lucky, little leprechaun’s first; and it is also one in which I’d like to make a very generous and important offer to my loyal clients and fans.
We are supposed to be seeing green today, but what if you are seeing red in your dating and relationships? Red flags, that is. Would you know the signs of a toxic partner if he or she was right in front of you?
If you aren’t certain, I would love to help you with a strategy session. Especially for the purpose of determining how you could learn to avoid toxic singles or determine if you are, in fact, already in an unhealthy relationship.
I will help you get really clear on what qualifies as a red flag. There are really two types: Red flags for everyone seeking a healthy relationship
Red flags specific to the type of partner/relationship you desire
The first category are the ugliest of red flags and include everything from abuse to narcissism to stonewalling to the refusal to treat mental health issues like depression, anxiety, or personality disorders. The second have more to do with signs that indicate a lack of compatibility which could involve factors like a clash of value systems as a result of different worldviews or an attachment style that triggers you.
Determining the red flags that can cause relationship distress requires you to be very aware of what is going on in your relationships. Sometimes, talking to a dating professional like myself can make all the difference. With a strategy session, you can see your dating and relationships through a different lens.
So whether you’d like help finding or creating a healthier relationship or have something else you’d like to work on in your life, this St Patrick’s Day, I invite you to a half-priced Strategy Session -with an investment of $125-if you book before April 1rst. To learn more, send me an email at Rachel@RachelRusso.com, subject “Lucky” for details.
Sometimes people get stuck in their dating and relationships. They desperately want a change but don’t know where to begin. They feel all alone in the search for a partner-like no one they know can actually help them meet someone-or that they can’t burden others with their relationship issues.
Are some people just luckier in love than others? What if you could make your own luck?
If you really sit down and brainstorm, you’d find there are many ways to find the relationship happiness that you desire—while staying grounded throughout the journey. Just like there are many ways to take a makeup-less selfie on International Women’s Day to remind ladies around the globe that real beauty comes from within, but anyways….
So here’s an unconventional tip to help you get lucky in love—just in time for that other holiday, St Patrick’s Day, and, guess what? It doesn’t involve an online dating site!
Simply, find a relationship mentor. We do it in business, why not do it for our personal life? What if you could find someone in your network who has the love life that you desire and interview them?
Have a “discovery call”, if you will, and find out the real story behind their success in dating and relationships. Just be curious and start a conversation. You don’t have to ask directly for advice. All you have to do is ask them to tell you their story that led them to where they are today. Then, see where it takes you. And if it changes your life, let it…..
Well, hello! Now that my maternity leave is over and Rachel Russo Relationships is back and fully open for business, I am hoping to bring you a little love. But ,first, that quick glimpse of my "little love"- pictured above- who has my heart overflowing!
Why love? Why love now? WHY NOT!?
While it is easy for many of us to fall in love with babies and puppies, sometimes, finding and keeping love with an actual adult human can be a little more challenging.
If you are up for the challenge, here are seven things you can do to keep the love flowing:
1. Manage your emotions: "Keep Calm & Carry On" is my personal mantra. Create a "mission statement" for your love life and make it a priority to stop any difficult emotions from getting in the way of you carrying out your vision.
2.Make decisions that are based in love--self-love, love for people, love for the planet, and love for God--if that's your thing.
3. Be "love-savvy": I think I just made up a word! The point is: Know how to love those around you by understanding their "love languages". Then, become fluent.
4. Maximize your relationship potential: Whether single or coupled, check in on your weekly progress toward your relationships goals and make plan on how to get more of what you want.
5. Eliminate negativity & insecurity: Just STOP talking about anyone and anything negative, complaining about things in your dating life or relationships, and worrying about things going wrong in present or future. Ditch bad habits NOW internally and externally.
6. Be authentic: Think about your personal brand and style of being in a relationship. Know who you are, be who you are, and watch how magnetic it is.
7. Seek what you are: Do not entertain anyone who isn't on your level in terms of their ability to love. Don’t waste any time on them. Focus on attracting & maintaining relationships with high quality people only. If someone you are already involved with isn’t adding to your life, think about...subtracting.
Ready to work on finding or keeping love? Email Rachel@RachelRusso.com, subject "Love Now", for details on a special offer--that your heart really won't be able to resist!
This Valentine’s Day season, I have love on the brain-and in my energy-more than ever! I'm writing from my couch, curled up with my sweet baby girl, Serafina Simone, who just turned ten weeks old.
“It goes by so fast,” they say. Well, I am savoring every single moment and doing all of the things-even those unpleasant ones like extra messy diaper changes and exhausting night feedings-with love and joy.
While I’ve been surviving-and often thriving-in my new role as Serafina’s mommy, I have also thought deeply about how I’ll balance my career and motherhood—not to mention my own love life, in the near future. That’s right: One day, I’ll soon be ready to find my own lasting love, as I chose to have her as a solo mom-sans the baggage from an ex-as I conceived her with donor sperm via IVF. I just prioritized motherhood, you see, but, of course I want to find my person—as do all of the people I help find their own.
Re: Lasting love …..
As I recently shared: Most single women probably don’t think that having a child on their own could help them find a partner, but, my knowledge of relationship dynamics from my career in matchmaking and dating & relationship coaching has convinced me otherwise!
Although one never knows what the future may hold, I wholeheartedly believe having my beautiful daughter on my own will actually help my love life! As I discussed in my recent episode of the Pregnantish podcast, it really takes the pressure off dating when you aren’t looking for the future father of your child. A lot of men are drawn to this lighter energy, as well as the confidence, boldness, and independence that comes with this life choice.
While I am not currently dating, I have already received my share of attention, genuine compliments, and even an offer for an infant car seat from a guy who never met me. I have been talking a lot about solo parenting and romance lately, both publicly (Hello, Instagram Live) and among friends.
I was so happy to see that a journalist from Insider heard my podcast interview and decided to do a story on my views of how solo motherhood mixes with dating, as I’d love to share my perspective with women who are thinking about doing this but are fearful that they will, you know, end up old and alone with cats. It doesn’t have to be this way, and I hope to be living proof! You can check out the article for more of my thoughts here.
In the meantime, I will enjoy my journey transitioning into a working mom —with the greatest love of all by my side! With my maternity leave officially ending in two weeks, I look forward to helping people- in the NYC tri- state area and beyond-create and maintain their own versions of happily-ever-after through matchmaking and dating & relationship coaching. If interested, feel free to email Rachel@RachelRusso.com for details on special Valentine's Day discounted rates from now through the end of February.
Indeed, this February 14th is an extra special Valentine’s Day for me, as I am loving this new version of my happily-ever-after. I hope it is a great day for you too—whether you are single or coupled. It is always a great day to have a great day.