For most people, getting first dates is easy. Second dates are a different story!
As a matchmaker with over fourteen years of experience, I help singles navigate the dating trenches and do everything in my power to help them get second dates. I am excited to share my secrets for a successful date with you, so that you will have the confidence to make a winning first impression. This isn't rocket science, you know. But looking your best and making the best first impression takes some work. After all, it is a competitive dating scene.
A successful first date starts with arranging the date. After you and your date have agreed to meet, be sure to promptly contact each other to confirm your availability and preferences regarding venue, cuisine, etc. Typically, the couples I introduce meet for dinner--sometimes lunch.
Usually men have the final say on the venue-as even though in today’s day and age, most men still pay in the early stages of dating- but, ladies, it is totally fine to let him know your preferences, location, etc. The jury is still out on whether ordering the most expensive item on the menu is a dating faux pas! My vote is "no" on that lobster. Also, don’t be too picky about venue, as it makes you seem high-maintenance and more interested in getting a free meal than exploring relationship potential. On the day before the scheduled date, either you or your date should confirm the date with a text. The two of you can continue a brief text dialogue to confirm/break the ice or have a quick phone call.
If you choose to do a phone call, please keep in mind that this can get awkward and go downhill quickly. (Trust me: I have seen many dates fail to launch because of a bad phone call and sometimes don’t even allow my clients to talk before a date!) You should not use a call as an opportunity to ask a bunch of first date type questions. You have each other's profile if you met online-or you know something if you met organically or through a friend/matchmaker- so perhaps you can make a little small talk and mention one thing that you are interested to know more about on the date.
Please do NOT stay on the phone for an extended period of time or send more photos. The goal is to get on the date!
As for conversation on the date:
- Keep it light-hearted and fun. Get to know each other and try to avoid negativity and serious topics--politics, religion, past relationships, etc.
-Tell the truth about you and your life. Just (mostly!) the positive truth--you can talk about how much you hate online dating, having anxiety, etc, once you win each other over. :) You do have to sell yourself a little bit showing your date that you have manners, are fun to talk to, and are relationship-oriented. But don't come across as if you are trying to too hard by bragging or talking too much about yourself.
- Ask him or her open-ended questions --things that you'd be genuinely interested in knowing. Try to stay on a topic for a while so it does not feel like an interview. Don't be afraid to have unique conversations, be playful, and flirty. Also a compliment goes a long way. Show your interest and confidence no matter what happens!
My advice specifically for the ladies: Let him walk you to your car/train/home and be open to a hug and/or kiss on the cheek--or kiss on the lips if there was clearly chemistry. If you aren't almost sure that he’d want the latter, do not do it! A lot of men still prefer to initiate a kiss. As a female, your job is typically to lean in and show with your body language, physical touch, eye contact etc. that you want it. I believe men should pursue, but if you have the confidence and want to kiss him, don’t let me stop you. Go ahead!
Both men and women just need to end things on a positive note! When you get home or the next day, you can send a thank you text. Stay positive about the date-even if he or she doesn’t reply right away. Every first date is either an invitation for a second or a learning experience. When you look at it that way, you will only have success.
If you are looking to up your dating game or could use help implementing some of these strategies, please shoot me an email. As there are plenty more secrets where that came from!
In every relationship, there are challenges that people need to work through. If you can learn to laugh at life, things can be a lot easier.
While no one can really predict the ups and downs any given couple will face-or if they will last forever- there are some relationships that seem to have more staying power than others.
How can you tell if your relationship will go the distance?
Step1: You can start by understanding what constitutes a healthy relationship, because healthy relationships typically last longer. If you haven't already, check out last week's blog post, "4 Ways To Know If Your Relationship Will Be Healthy & Happy". If your relationship doesn't seem healthy, what are the changes that you can make to improve the dynamic?
Secondly, you can assess whether or not you and your partner/potential partner are a good match. Chemistry is fantastic, but it is not everything. There needs to be a true element of compatibility for a relationship to work out for the long term. And here's the not-so-secret-secret of a lasting relationship......
You have the same vision for the future. If you don’t have synergy in terms of your vision for the future, that chemistry is a dead end. When you’ve met your true match, you are confident that you are on the same page. If you want kids, he wants kids. If you want to travel the world, she wants to travel the world. If you see yourself as an entrepreneur creating a big business that you work on with your partner, he or she can’t wait to be part of that power couple mission! You may not agree on every little thing, but mostly, you have similar values for the future. You can see the relationship working out, because it isn’t a huge compromise. You are truly well-matched, because you want the same things out of life. Does this sound like you and your partner or the person you'd like to be with?
Want to hear more about what I think makes for a good match?
Check out this episode of The Mountain Top Podcast for Men that I just co-hosted with Dating Coach Extraodinare & Founder, Scot McKay. I reveal all my thoughts on how tell if someone is the right match--as learned in my fourteen-year (and still going strong!) career as a professional matchmaker. Even though this episode is directed toward men, it is still totally relevant for women. Happy Listening!
Single and want to know if I can help you find your match? Taken and wondering if you are well-matched enough? You can book a complimentary consultation or strategy session on my booking site here.
Cheers to more healthy, happy relationships in the world! In life, things sometimes go wrong so that you can appreciate them when they're right! At times, your love life can seem really unhealthy. But this doesn't mean you won't be in a relationship that can turn out to be healthy and happy. What's "healthy" and "happy" anyway?
Let me tell you what it isn't: Listening to other people who have no idea what is healthy and happy for you.... tell you what is healthy and happy for you. Same goes for those who say that a woman has to know right away whether or not a man is the man for her. Sure, some women will tell you they “just know” he was The One from the minute they met him. But the truth is, there are plenty more women who didn’t know they’d have a real future with a guy until many months or even years into the relationship.
In fact, as a matchmaker with over fourteen years of experience, I have talked to a lot of women about how they met their man. Asking older women how they met their husbands is one of my favorite pastimes! And I can’t tell you how many women I meet who say “I didn’t even LIKE my husband when I first met him.” Men really do grow on women. (It has even happened to me!) So, not instantly knowing that a relationship is right for you is NOT a sign that you will not be in a healthy and happy relationship! It can all work out magically--if you pay attention to the signs that you are on the right track.
Now, on to those ways you can know that a relationship can be healthy and happy for you :
You feel happy and content most of the time that you are with your partner. No relationship is perfect, and there will inevitably be things that your partner does to frustrate, sadden, or anger you, but for the most part you will feel at peace in a healthy relationship. Even when there are awkward silences or uncomfortable conversations, it still feels “right”.
You are confident that your match is good for you because you regularly feel really good around each other. You have fun together and probably haven’t had as much fun-for as long as you have- with many others! (And not just when you are doing fun things, but even doing routine errands or waiting on line at the grocery store.) You can be together in the same room-not even talking to each other- just doing your own thing and still feel happy and connected.
You are integrated into each other’s life.
When you are in the right relationship, you feel like you have a true life partner. You do not feel alone--like your partner is still acting single when you are a couple. This means that you are included in each other's daily life. You have regular communication via text, phone, and in person. You know the little and big things that are going on with each other. You spend time together. He/she wants you to take an interest in their hobbies and vice versa. You meet each other's friends and family. You are both eager to make these introductions because you want everyone to get to know each other. You get the sense that he/she wants to include you in every part of life. Of course, you will spend holidays together.
While your partner may have friends that he/she sees separately or interests you don't share, you know about them. By the way, this is healthy--as you’ll need to maintain some sense of independence. What isn’t healthy is to feel lonely lying right next to someone. If you have found the right match, you’ll be confident that this will never or rarely happen.
You have physical chemistry and can’t get enough of each other! The one thing that separates a platonic friendship from a romantic relationship: Chemistry! While it isn’t everything, it is part of the glue that can hold a couple together during tough times. Sex drives wax and wane in life, but mostly, you feel desire for your partner and are confident that you always will. Because you find him/her physically attractive, cute, funny, and with the energy that just melts your heart. You want to be close. You are affectionate, and you love being intimate. Maybe you still feel butterflies every time you touch. You are both really into it most of the time. Perhaps, you can’t even picture yourself wanting to be with anyone else.
You make each other want to be a better person. When you’ve met your match, you are in a relationship that is truly healthy and empowering! Despite the challenges and bad times, you don’t want to give up--in life in general or on the relationship. You feel inspired to overcome your greatest fears and hardships, because you have a supportive partner by your side who makes you want to be the best version of yourself. And you do the same for your partner. You notice that you are more motivated to cut bad habits, take better care of yourself, earn more money, be a kinder person, etc. You want to live your best life and you want to be the best version of yourself..together.
So, there you have it. If you are in a relationship with these four characteristics, my vote is to never let it go!
Are you in a relationship that is less than healthy? Struggling to find a relationship to begin with?Let me coach you on how to find or keep your true match by helping you figure out a plan to conquer whatever is standing in the way of true happiness in relationships. Sessions are normally priced at $250 for an hour long video or phone chat, but if you book by March 24th, you can enjoy $125 in savings.
You can book directly-and make a secure credit card payment through Square-on my booking site here.
Okay, there’s no polite way to say this: Breakups SUCK!!
Whether it was a short term relationship or you are divorcing a spouse, a broken heart is one of the most difficult things to mend! In the days and weeks following a breakup, common sense is not so common for many of us.
Trust me, I’ve been there--even wrote a book about it! When we are in such a vulnerable state, we can lose sight of what we need to do to bounce back after the loss of a significant relationship. The key, ladies and gentleman, is to have the confidence in knowing what to do to move FORWARD--not backward. (As in no stalking your ex’s social media for this very reason!) After coaching tons of men and women past heartbreak and suffering through three painful breakups of my own, here are my top tips:
You must accept that your relationship is over, and there is no turning back. A breakup is like a death. I suggest that you treat it as such. It is crucial that you let yourself go through the stages of grieving without getting in touch with your ex. You may think that a quick phone call or a-just-checking-in-text is innocent enough, but trust me, it can set you back. If you want to move on, you need to adhere to a strict no contact policy—at least for a considerable amount of time. I’m talking thirty days or more.
If you are tempted to reach out to your ex, text a friend instead. (Or even text yourself the message that you’d write your ex.) But don’t be afraid to lean on your support system. This is the time to let friends and family be there for you--to let you vent, to be a shoulder to cry on, to distract you with fun, food, and drinks.
A good idea is to sit down and make a list of all the reasons why your relationship is broken and why you are better off without your ex. Read it and reread it until you believe it! The truth is: You will never have a new future if you keep such a tenacious grip on your past.
Actually, you should make this list even if you aren’t tempted to text your ex. If you don’t sit down with a pen and paper, you run the risk of keeping everything jumbled up in your head. If you don’t detangle and learn from your mistakes, you’ll just make them again with someone else. A really helpful strategy in making sense of it all is to write down all the facts and events that took place since you met your ex. You should record all major interaction leading up to the breakup. If you have an inkling that you may be leaving things out or misconstruing what really happened, you need to check yourself.
If you’ve kept a journal throughout the relationship, you can go back and reread your past entries for clarity. If you were seeing a therapist or coach when you were with your ex, you can ask him or her to offer some perspective. If you don’t have these luxuries, you can talk to your friends and family in order to validate the truth. Go through your list with your best friend, and see if your list matches up with his or her view. After a breakup, you have a lot of questions to answer, and it doesn’t hurt to get several other opinions. Once you fill in your blanks and figure out what really happened with your past partner, you’ll be more able to process the pain and more emotionally available for a partner in the future.
In the short term, don’t be too quick to get into another relationship. Just do YOU! Self-care is super-important at this time. Make your health and well-being your number one priority. Treat yourself with compassion and extra love. Do things that make you happy. Pursue new hobbies, revisit old ones, or travel somewhere special. Live your best single life, and you won’t be single for long.
Use the time to get to know yourself again and figure out what you want for your next relationship. Once time passes and you can see your past relationship more clearly. you’ll be more desirable as a single.
Unfortunately, a lot of people do not learn from their breakups and stay stuck in the past. This is a shame, as a breakup provides an incredible opportunity to learn from your past relationship, so that you can find a better MATCH. Just keep in mind: It’ll all be okay! Whether just a little bit of rejection, a traumatic breakup, or the divorce from hell: You get to DECIDE how long you will stay in pain. You can make the choice to heal. Its hard, and it isn't linear. It takes time and likely fighting with all you've got. Every. Single. Day. But don't worry: You've got this!
As you can probably imagine, people often tell me what they are looking for in a partner.
A lot of the times, their match preferences can sound a bit cliche—sense of humor, tall, dark, handsome, family-oriented, successful. Do we all want to date the same person?
This week, I’m in NYC—truly in my element! I’m on a biz trip, teaching aspiring entrepreneurs about starting businesses in the love industry. Yesterday, I taught the matchmaker training-as the kick-off to The Matchmaking Institute’s International Matchmaker & Dating Coaches Conference-and talked a lot about what constitutes a good match.
On the regular, people tell me who they want, and I tell them who is good for them.
Chemistry. Compatibility. Similar Values. Lifestyle. Complementary Personality. Attachment Style. Vision for Future. There is a lot to consider.
While what is romantically attractive is largely subjective, there are some things that we can all agree are unattractive. I’ve had thousands of conversations with people about relationship turnoffs, and there is one type of person who turns off virtually everyone.
Without a doubt, if you are heavily invested in always being right, you are doing your love life a real disservice. Not only do people dislike this type of arrogance, they often see it as a relationship non-starter. Because if the Know It All always needs to be right, then they must think that you are……wrong. Who wants to feel like they are inferior all the time?
The not-so-secret-secret is: We want to be romantically involved with people who make us feel good about ourselves. A relationship with a partner who makes us feel bad on a regular basis typically has a short shelf life. Being a know-it-all- is the enemy of connection.
So the next time you are searching for the evidence to prove someone wrong, remember that you are literally repelling people. Would you rather be right and alone? Or wrong and loved?
Fyi, you can be right and loved too…..
In fact, sometimes being “wrong” in relationships makes everything in your life right.
Happy Valentine's Day! Whether you are single, happily dating, or in a committed relationship, I truly hope that your day is filled with LOVE!
As I shared on my social media: I know today is sometimes a hard day for some of us. Valentine's Day often gets a bad rap as "Singles Awareness Day" or just another "Hallmark Holiday". For some of us: It is JUDGMENT DAY! Will he call? Will he text? Will I get flowers? For others, it is just another day. Cause, you know, we don't need a day to tell us we should love our partners, because that should be every day, and blah, blah, blah....
Whatever the case may be, I have a message for you about the point of it all-LOVE-right here. You see, I believe that the more love you have within, the more love you are able to give back to the world.And that is always a good thing!
Want to claim your power in your love life? Claim you free goodie first! I recently put out a very informal little video on how you can learn to let more love into your life--no matter what your relationship status. I just wanted to keep it real-the way love should be- and I invite you to check out.
If you want the more formal version-yes, I clean up nice- you can come out to The Great Love Debate to see me on February 19th at City Winery in NYC. Although I won't be on the panel this time, I will be mingling with the crowd and offering my take on modern day love--both on and off camera. I will be interviewed by Nightline, and they will be filming throughout the night. So don't be camera shy. This show is SO much fun, and it will teach you lots about how to successfully navigate relationships in 2019. Get your tickets, and come say "hi. I'll be in VIP! :)
Meanwhile, if you aren't in NYC but you are in a situation where you aren't as happy as you can be with your love life, I have the perfect offer for you today for some virtual coaching. To be clear, you can take advantage of this even if you are in the NYC area.
Right now, I am running a seven day sale on my strategy sessions for all first-time clients who could use dating or relationship advice. I am offering a 50 percent discount to those who book their session before February 21rst here. (That's $125 in savings, total, y'all!)
If you want to learn what you can do-step by step-to make the next Valentine's Day your happiest yet, this is your chance. Regardless, I am sending you lots of love today!
With Valentine's Day quickly approaching, I figured it was the perfect opportunity for me to help you get your romantic priorities in order. Whether you are as single as a dollar bill, in a long-term relationship, married, or somewhere in between, I personally invite you to check out "A Matchmaker's A-Z Guide to Valentine's Day". So here are a few thoughts on how to love your love life-no matter what your status- just in time for February 14th! Trust me, there's something for everyone here......
A: Always choose "love". The verb. Sometimes loving both yourself and others is more challenging than you anticipated. In fact, that's probably an understatement. Choose love anyway. As Gandhi once said: "Where there is love, there is life".
B: Bloomingdales! Specifically, The Valentine's Day Collection of The Carousel at Bloomingdales. Yes, I am a "Bloomies" girl, and I think these gifts would be AMAZING for most anyone. Looking for something a little more cost-effective? Try Barnes & Noble. They always have super-cute Valentine's Day gifts.
C: Chocolates! Champagne! Candles! Cards! Candy Hearts! So many things you could bring your Valentine that begin with the letter "C"......
D: Date night, obvs! Whether you are making reservations or making a home-cooked meal for your sweetie: Make it special! If you are ever going to be romantic, be romantic now.
E: Exes: Avoid them at all costs! Unless you are single, think they are "the one who got away", and see a miraculous change in their behavior: Stop talking to them. Quit thinking it will work the second, third, or fiftieth time around. If you find this challenging, pick up a copy of my book, How To Get Over Your Ex: A Step By Step Guide To Mend A Broken Heart Italian American Style for the tough love that you need.
F: "For me? You shouldn't have." You've got to give love to get love, but don't just give for the sake of getting! Earn some karmic points for your love life by surprising someone you care about with a thoughtful Valentine's Day gift. This holiday isn't just for lovers. Celebrate all the people you care about.
G: Galentine's Day: Speaking of which, this is a THING! Ladies are celebrating ladies everywhere---even in the fantastic NYC suburb where I do most of my living, working, loving, and playing.
H: Heart-shaped everything. Especially this Open-Heart Necklace by Sincerely Silver. Want one for yourself or a special lady in your life? You can order here and get 15% off with my discounted code, "MTCDMP". Personally, I can never have enough heart shaped necklaces. This one is so simple, elegant, and beautiful. It might just be my favorite!
I: Intimacy: Although many people will roll their eyes at the idea of scheduling sex, it is not a bad idea! On Valentine's Day, if you have a partner, its kind of "in the bag", right? Well, sometimes people need convincing. Think the fact that sex is a very efficient calorie-burning activity could convince your partner to get "in the mood"? Check out: Seven different ways you can burn calories during sex--and exactly how many calories you can burn! Make your case!
J: Jewelry: Guys, it is likely that your girlfriend or wife can't get enough of this. They don't say that diamonds are a girls best friend for nothing. If you don't want to get her a gift that makes her question your level of interest and ruin your relationship: Put down that electric can opener! You can't go wrong with the jewels.
K: Kisses! Nope, not the Hershey's kind. You can either burn sixty-eight calories in an hour or you can eat them. FYI: One Hershey's kiss is twenty-two calories. Also, not a bad idea....
L: LOVE! That's the point of this whole holiday. Love starts with self-love, so don't forget to take care of you. Love is delicious. Fall in it. Stay in it. And if you love someone for God's sakes-TELL THEM! Life is to short, not too.
M: Matchmaking! Duh! I always refer to matchmaking as a matchmaker's Christmas, and I get to make extra magic happen this year! I just arranged an incredible Valentine's day date for one of my clients with a girl visiting NYC and enjoying front row seats at Sleeping Beauty-The Ballet on Valentine's Day evening. Maybe you are reading this thinking I'd hate the ballet. Guess what? Its likely I know other singles I could match you with that also hate the ballet! Every lid has a pot. There is no better time than NOW for me to help you find your match. I am offering discounted matchmaking packages-to both men and women-from now throughout the month of February. Email me at Rachel@RachelRusso.com for more info or apply to my complimentary database here.
N: Never give up on your dream for your love life by settling for someone who doesn't love you and/or isn't good enough for you. By the way, if your partner doesn't truly love you he or she will never be good enough. No matter how perfect on paper....
O: Online dating: If you are single, my advice is: Don't rule it out--even if you have tried and failed. I make online dating really fun for my clients. Success starts with an amazing profile and photos. I set my clients up with my photographer for a photo shoot-get them hooked up with makeup and hair- and I even come on the shoot if they are in the NYC area! I write a killer profile-or teach them how to-and even help with creating and editing messages to singles I choose on the sites. There is a better way. You can figure it out for yourself if you try hard enough--or you can hire a professional like me to cut the learning curve for you. Did I mention, I got my very first online dating client married by contacting his now wife-of ten years on Match?!
P: Phone. Pick it up and call people for a change. Reach out to an old friend, your mom, your grandparents, or your neighbor just to say hello and tell them you care!
Q: Quizzes. Like.... "What type of romantic are you"?" Google some. With or without a partner. They will spark an interesting conversation or make you see yourself in a new light.
R: Romantic Roses. Because nothing says Valentine's Day more than a dozen roses! And maybe a cute teddy bear....
That you will subsequently throw in the garbage and shred to pieces when he dumps you.....
Ouch. Just kidding! I believe in flowers, teddy bears, and fighting for love!
S: Singles events for singles. Spa days for EVERYONE! Put yourself out there--from the dance floor to the massage table. Life is meant to be lived. Luxuriously while you are at it!
T: Toast. Champagne, please. Yes, I'd like some champagne to go along with my Valentine's Day nails. But, why don't you go ahead and toast? As I always say: Cheers to love and life! Note: It's better to celebrate things that happen in the romance department when they happen--instead of bitching to your friends about how they won't happen, aren't happening, will never happen, etc. Be conscious of the way that you speak. Negativity breeds negativity. Keep your word positive and watch yourself attract all the positive things that you desire.
U: Unexpected Bouquets: It's nice to get flowers when you weren't expecting them--especially when they are from someone you actually like! Ladies, if there is a guy you are crushing on-who, say, works in your office-that hasn't quite made the move you wanted him to, don't be afraid to bring back the oldest trick in the book. Yup, you can send yourself flowers. Signed, Secret Admirer. Nothing like a little friendly competition to make a man chase you. Even one of my favorite matchmaker colleagues suggests this!
V: Vacation: The couple that stays together plays together! Go somewhere fun with your partner--even if it is just a quick weekend getaway. If you are single, use travel as a way to meet men. Business travel and conferences can be a great (tax-deductible) excuse. Last week, I was in Del Ray speaking at the iDate Dating Industry Conference and networking with some pretty impressive people. I can't tell you how many men I met, just out and about in my travels. Hint: Sitting at the sushi bar in a hotspot works REALLY well!
W: Wine & Dine: 'Enough said.
X: "Xrtra" Valentine's Day Love For You: Check out a video I recently filmed on my top tips to may lasting love flow in your life. It is part of The Love Virtual Summit, launching Feb 12-14th. Signups are still open and free for the first 100 people. This could just be the extra support you need to be able to find and keep the love you want.
Y: You know what your heart wants. Listen to your heart and your head.
Z: Zoom, Skye, FaceTime, WhatsApp, Facebook: Want to do a video or audio call with me to see if I can help you achieve those romantic priorities this Valentine's Day? I do complimentary consultations with all who are serious about hiring a coach or matchmaker. Book one here. If my A-Z Guide To Valentine's Day really resonated with you--then it is likely I am the person for you---to help you along the way in your journey of love and life.
Happy Valentine's Day!
Well, hello, from Del Ray Beach, Florida!
So, this is me here at the iDate2019 Dating Industry Conference. I'm happy to be investing in my business and myself.
I must say: In addition to enjoying the educational piece of matchmaking and dating industry conferences, I really have fun re-connecting with colleagues that I've known for years, as well as meeting new people who work in the dating and relationship space.
These are my peeps! Well, a lot of these people are my people--but not all of them. That's not only okay; it is the way it should be.
While I truly believe that every person I meet has value and is a new door to a different world--not all doors are meant to be opened by me. Or you!
It seems obvious, but.....
You don't go to the hardware store for milk. Tiffany's doesn't try to sell diamonds to teenage boys. And, as one of my matchmaking colleagues implied today, you don't match "toothless truckers" with attractive, educated, professional women in Manhattan!
As another colleague said in her presentation on matchmaking hacks, people should look and feel like they match up with their partner. (Ever noticed how people start to look more and more like their significant others?) I, too, believe couples should look like they go together in some way. This doesn't mean they must physically resemble each other, but that its best they have some kind of synergy. Like "two peas in a pod", if you will......
Knowing who is like you-who your tribe is- can not only help you achieve happiness in dating and relationships but promote success in business and life in general too.
As it turns out, recognizing who is not for you is just as important as knowing who is for you.
So draw your line in the sand and never be offended if someone decides you aren't for them in your personal or professional life. To quote my ex-boyfriend: "It is what it is".
When you let go of what isn't for you, what is for you will come front and center.
There's a dirty little question that comes to mind for a lot of people after they read a sentence that includes the words "love" and "money".
Can you truly have BOTH?
Yes, I wholeheartedly believe that some of us can!
I'm also of the belief that black hair and rose gold highlights can peacefully coexist. And, so, yesterday- instead of promptly writing this post-I did this.
Sorry. I am getting better about delivering your content in a timely fashion. I promise. It's just that this was kind of urgent.....
Valentine's Day is right around the corner! I even started doing my telesummit video for the latest Global Love Sumit that I am a part of. If you are looking for love, definitely consider registering here. Speaking of money, it won't cost you a thing, if you are one of the first one hundred to register. So, get on that.
Now, for the good stuff.,,,,
Do you want to make both love and money?
Look, you are going to have to WORK at finding and keeping love or money. This is non-negotiable. It is about your mindset and your behavior. Talk to people who have made it, and they will tell you it is not mostly about luck. It is not about get-rich-quick-schemes or finding-love-in-ninety-days-bs. While it may look like many successful people have had luck, chances are, there was a lot of blood, sweat, and tears going on behind the scenes.
But, its also not always about making tremendous sacrifices either. Yes, you are going to have to give up something to get both love and money. Like time spent partying, for instance, as you will be working. You will likely have to give up dating multiple people if you want to win the heart of one special one.
But you could work smarter and not harder. You don't need be doing slave labor--making rich people richer, right? When it comes to love, you will likely not get every single thing on your wish list. And, if you do, there will be some other undesirable trait that comes with the package. No one is perfect.
However, you don't have to marry someone who will have you "earning every penny" or settle for a partner who has you less stimulated than you would be watching paint dry on a wall. How fun would making love be in that case?!
There are other options. There is an in-between.
I am not here to tell you to dig for gold, to sign that prenup, or to build your own empire and never let anyone touch it. Nor am I here to suggest that you'd be better off with someone funny, or fit or whatever else is on your wish list. Because I don't know your own unique psychology and true desires at this point.
I can only give you specific, personalized, life-changing advice when I get to you know you better. If you are in the market for a coach or matchmaker, and you want me to tell you exactly who I think IS and ISN'T for you, that may be possible. You can start by booking me for a complimentary consultation so that we can explore the possibilities...
What I would like to tell you today is that I might have opportunities to help you make love and money!
First off, I am HIRING! If you want to be a Love Agent for my matchmaking & dating + relationship consultancy, Rachel Russo Relationships, check out my job post and learn about how you can get paid for referring your friends, family, colleagues, and other singles.
Secondly, if you want to increase your chances of making some serious cash in the matchmaking industry, I invite you to come to learn how to become a real mover and shaker in the industry by joining me at Matchmaking Institute's next Global Love Conference, March 6-8, 2019 in NYC! FYI: The early bird special is still being honored! And this conference is SO worth it.
Now, back to this LOVE thing....
As I posted on Insta today: The heart wants what the heart wants.
But, if you heart wants THIS, it is time to start using your head.
Want tips for getting started?
Have a listen to my interview on the He Said What Podcast, Episode 92 Dates in 1 Year with Rachel Russo. Yup, I really did once go on ninety-two dates in one year and blog about them--though I keep my love life much, much, more private these days! Listen to what I have to say about that--plus more on first dates, people who ghost, not dating based on potential, spotting the red flags, and all you need to know about modern-day relationships there.
Meantime, if you have any additional thoughts on making love and money, shoot me an email at Rachel@RachelRusso.com. I'm looking for people and ideas to help me make more of BOTH!
Whether you are single or in a relationship, you aren't going to just magically improve your love life because you want to.
Just because you have a vision board, just because you have prayed, or just because you know your deserve more than this.....
Things don't change unless you are sick and tired of how they are.
You don't stop being single until you are so over being single that you finally do something that will make a difference.
If your relationship is broken, things won't improve just because you'd like them to. Unless both you AND your partner are fully committed to change, you are just going to get more of that same unsatisfying dynamic. PS: If you aren't willing to WORK at a relationship, stay single.
Confession: I learned the latter the hard way, and more than once too! Sometimes, it takes a while for things to sink in, and as they say: The lesson repeats until you learn it. When it comes to trying to work on a broken relationship, giving an ex a second chance, etc., it is crucial to make sure that you aren't fooling yourself.
Are you more invested in the relationship than your partner is? Are you doing all the work? Do you want it to work more than he or she does?
No matter how "in" you are, it the other person has a foot out the door, the relationship has a shelf life. If you are the one with your foot out, kindly let the other person go. Don't hold on for selfish reasons-out of comfort, loneliness, etc-when you know a relationship is wrong for you. The relationship will not be right for either of you unless you both have a strong desire to change.
You must also both have the ability to work through your issues. Is it realistic that things could change enough for you to both be happy? Ideally, you'd have evidence that change is possible before you waste one more second in brokenness. There is always a risk in love, but, in my experience, giving even a fractured relationship another go on a "chicken wing and a prayer" is a risky, risky business. Protect your heart and invest wisely, my friends!
But, if all else fails, and your heart gets broken.......Don't worry, life will go on.
I am saddened by all the people who give up on love after a bad breakup, abuse, divorce, addiction, or any other trauma. And I get it. It is hard to move on. However, I truly believe it IS possible to heal your heart and get over even the worst things you can imagine! This is why I'm so excited to support Jacinth Headlam, award-winning actress and motivational speaker, with her new book, Love After.
Next month, I will be participating in her NYC Book Launch Event! I will be making a special guest appearance, giving a brief talk, and selling copies of my own book, How To Get Over Your Ex: A Step By Step Guide To Mend A Broken Heart Italian American Style, at her launch party in Brooklyn, on Feb 9th. For more info & tix, go here.
To stop fooling yourself and get real about transforming your love life, book a complimentary coaching consultation with me today!