My guess is that you have probably heard someone share this quote:
“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.”
By Albert Einstein. I think.
Well, judging by what I am seeing in terms of dating and relationship trends: There are a lot of insane people out there walking these streets! If you have an internet connection and a shot of courage, you don’t have to be one of them. I have an invitation for you…..
Next month, I'll be co-hosting three virtual seminars with Dr. Brian Legg, Psy. D of The Psych Center to help singles “spring” into love. They will be interactive and educational, fun, hour and a half-conversations in the evenings. We are doing this because we are passionate about helping men and women find healthy relationships.
There has been a lot of focus on people missing the signs of toxic partners lately from social media to documentaries on Netflix. I am not just talking about The Tinder Swindler; have you guys seen Bad Vegan: Fame. Fraud. Fugitive? Wow! I used to dine at that restaurant…..
Here’s the deal: You might *think* you know what red flags to look out for, but your past patterns-relationship history, family dynamics, etc- could be getting in the way. You could be sabotaging and not even know it. Enter, the “love block”. You don’t know what you don’t know.
Finding the right person to be your person is one of the most important decisions you’ll ever make. Are you prepared to make this choice? We are happy to help you-from the comfort of your home-if you’d like to make some changes in your love life by looking at your "stuff".
The cost of these workshops-considering our expertise and the value will be bringing-is an absolute steal!
To register: Call 201 606 2529
For more info: Email PsychCenterSeminars@gmail.com
If there are topics you’d like us to cover or questions you want answered, by all means, email me at Rachel@RachelRusso.com with your request.
But only reach out if you share my penchant for, you know, sanity…..
Do you know your dating deal breakers? If you don't, you are dating blindly, and going into each date with eyes wide open could be a lot better for your love life.
Knowing those black or white non-negotiable criteria could help you to:
-Discover what you really want in a relationship
-Avoid wasting time, money, and emotional energy on people who you’d be incompatible with
-Prevent yourself from getting into a toxic relationship or marriage with an unsuitable partner
Being trained as a Marriage & Family Therapist-with more than a couple years of clinicial experience under my belt-I look at relational problems holistically. I see the issues as a result of the systems or institutions--like marriage and family. I have my matchmaking and dating coaching clients try to figure out their own dealbreakers by analyzing their family and relationship history.
Today, I will share a few tips with you, because, well, the world would be a better place if we all avoided our dating deal breakers.
Let's start with where it all began: Your family of orgin. You could really clarify your dating deal breakers by analyzing your family, so, go ahead, have a field day there!
To begin with, you should understand how your parents’ relationship and other models of relationships (in your extended family) impact your ideal relationship vision--i.e. what you want out of your love life.
You can do this by recognizing the positive and/or negative qualities of your parents’ relationship and/or those of other family members. For instance, if you grew up with a controlling mom, you might not want a controlling husband or wife. (And if you do, you might just be a masochist!)
Identifying the dating deal breakers is all about looking for your triggers. Take inventory of the qualities in your parents that would really bother you in partner. Make a list of your parents' "flaws", and, then, avoid, avoid, avoid! Focus on finding someone with the qualities you liked in your family members and ditch those bad ones to avoid the pain. Trust me, if they have bothered you in your family since your childhood, teen years, or early adulthood, they are going to look even worse on a partner.
Healthy relationships don't hurt---at least not all or most of the time. To attract one, your must understand your core values. To do this, you should-you guessed it-look to your family and thevalues that they passed down to you. Choose the ones you want in a romantic relationship, and make sure you are living out those values in your solo life first. Then, it'll be that much easier to find your person and live your best life with him or her.
As you can see, your family provides a lot of clues to discovering what does and doesn't work for your love life. Your own relationship history does too. If you are interested in learning how to discover more of your dating deal breakers by analyzing your relationship history, stay tuned for next week's blog, because I will cover just that. Meantime, be well!
PS: If you’d like help analyzing your dating deal breakers and coming up with a plan for finding or creating a healthier relationship, remember my St. Patrick's Day sale is still going on. I invite you to a half-priced Strategy Session -with an investment of $125-if you book before April 1rst. To learn more, send me an email at Rachel@RachelRusso.com, subject “Lucky” for details.
This St. Patrick’s Day is a special one! Its my lucky, little leprechaun’s first; and it is also one in which I’d like to make a very generous and important offer to my loyal clients and fans.
We are supposed to be seeing green today, but what if you are seeing red in your dating and relationships? Red flags, that is. Would you know the signs of a toxic partner if he or she was right in front of you?
If you aren’t certain, I would love to help you with a strategy session. Especially for the purpose of determining how you could learn to avoid toxic singles or determine if you are, in fact, already in an unhealthy relationship.
I will help you get really clear on what qualifies as a red flag. There are really two types: Red flags for everyone seeking a healthy relationship
Red flags specific to the type of partner/relationship you desire
The first category are the ugliest of red flags and include everything from abuse to narcissism to stonewalling to the refusal to treat mental health issues like depression, anxiety, or personality disorders. The second have more to do with signs that indicate a lack of compatibility which could involve factors like a clash of value systems as a result of different worldviews or an attachment style that triggers you.
Determining the red flags that can cause relationship distress requires you to be very aware of what is going on in your relationships. Sometimes, talking to a dating professional like myself can make all the difference. With a strategy session, you can see your dating and relationships through a different lens.
So whether you’d like help finding or creating a healthier relationship or have something else you’d like to work on in your life, this St Patrick’s Day, I invite you to a half-priced Strategy Session -with an investment of $125-if you book before April 1rst. To learn more, send me an email at Rachel@RachelRusso.com, subject “Lucky” for details.
Sometimes people get stuck in their dating and relationships. They desperately want a change but don’t know where to begin. They feel all alone in the search for a partner-like no one they know can actually help them meet someone-or that they can’t burden others with their relationship issues.
Are some people just luckier in love than others? What if you could make your own luck?
If you really sit down and brainstorm, you’d find there are many ways to find the relationship happiness that you desire—while staying grounded throughout the journey. Just like there are many ways to take a makeup-less selfie on International Women’s Day to remind ladies around the globe that real beauty comes from within, but anyways….
So here’s an unconventional tip to help you get lucky in love—just in time for that other holiday, St Patrick’s Day, and, guess what? It doesn’t involve an online dating site!
Simply, find a relationship mentor. We do it in business, why not do it for our personal life? What if you could find someone in your network who has the love life that you desire and interview them?
Have a “discovery call”, if you will, and find out the real story behind their success in dating and relationships. Just be curious and start a conversation. You don’t have to ask directly for advice. All you have to do is ask them to tell you their story that led them to where they are today. Then, see where it takes you. And if it changes your life, let it…..
Well, hello! Now that my maternity leave is over and Rachel Russo Relationships is back and fully open for business, I am hoping to bring you a little love. But ,first, that quick glimpse of my "little love"- pictured above- who has my heart overflowing!
Why love? Why love now? WHY NOT!?
While it is easy for many of us to fall in love with babies and puppies, sometimes, finding and keeping love with an actual adult human can be a little more challenging.
If you are up for the challenge, here are seven things you can do to keep the love flowing:
1. Manage your emotions: "Keep Calm & Carry On" is my personal mantra. Create a "mission statement" for your love life and make it a priority to stop any difficult emotions from getting in the way of you carrying out your vision.
2.Make decisions that are based in love--self-love, love for people, love for the planet, and love for God--if that's your thing.
3. Be "love-savvy": I think I just made up a word! The point is: Know how to love those around you by understanding their "love languages". Then, become fluent.
4. Maximize your relationship potential: Whether single or coupled, check in on your weekly progress toward your relationships goals and make plan on how to get more of what you want.
5. Eliminate negativity & insecurity: Just STOP talking about anyone and anything negative, complaining about things in your dating life or relationships, and worrying about things going wrong in present or future. Ditch bad habits NOW internally and externally.
6. Be authentic: Think about your personal brand and style of being in a relationship. Know who you are, be who you are, and watch how magnetic it is.
7. Seek what you are: Do not entertain anyone who isn't on your level in terms of their ability to love. Don’t waste any time on them. Focus on attracting & maintaining relationships with high quality people only. If someone you are already involved with isn’t adding to your life, think about...subtracting.
Ready to work on finding or keeping love? Email Rachel@RachelRusso.com, subject "Love Now", for details on a special offer--that your heart really won't be able to resist!
This Valentine’s Day season, I have love on the brain-and in my energy-more than ever! I'm writing from my couch, curled up with my sweet baby girl, Serafina Simone, who just turned ten weeks old.
“It goes by so fast,” they say. Well, I am savoring every single moment and doing all of the things-even those unpleasant ones like extra messy diaper changes and exhausting night feedings-with love and joy.
While I’ve been surviving-and often thriving-in my new role as Serafina’s mommy, I have also thought deeply about how I’ll balance my career and motherhood—not to mention my own love life, in the near future. That’s right: One day, I’ll soon be ready to find my own lasting love, as I chose to have her as a solo mom-sans the baggage from an ex-as I conceived her with donor sperm via IVF. I just prioritized motherhood, you see, but, of course I want to find my person—as do all of the people I help find their own.
Re: Lasting love …..
As I recently shared: Most single women probably don’t think that having a child on their own could help them find a partner, but, my knowledge of relationship dynamics from my career in matchmaking and dating & relationship coaching has convinced me otherwise!
Although one never knows what the future may hold, I wholeheartedly believe having my beautiful daughter on my own will actually help my love life! As I discussed in my recent episode of the Pregnantish podcast, it really takes the pressure off dating when you aren’t looking for the future father of your child. A lot of men are drawn to this lighter energy, as well as the confidence, boldness, and independence that comes with this life choice.
While I am not currently dating, I have already received my share of attention, genuine compliments, and even an offer for an infant car seat from a guy who never met me. I have been talking a lot about solo parenting and romance lately, both publicly (Hello, Instagram Live) and among friends.
I was so happy to see that a journalist from Insider heard my podcast interview and decided to do a story on my views of how solo motherhood mixes with dating, as I’d love to share my perspective with women who are thinking about doing this but are fearful that they will, you know, end up old and alone with cats. It doesn’t have to be this way, and I hope to be living proof! You can check out the article for more of my thoughts here.
In the meantime, I will enjoy my journey transitioning into a working mom —with the greatest love of all by my side! With my maternity leave officially ending in two weeks, I look forward to helping people- in the NYC tri- state area and beyond-create and maintain their own versions of happily-ever-after through matchmaking and dating & relationship coaching. If interested, feel free to email Rachel@RachelRusso.com for details on special Valentine's Day discounted rates from now through the end of February.
Indeed, this February 14th is an extra special Valentine’s Day for me, as I am loving this new version of my happily-ever-after. I hope it is a great day for you too—whether you are single or coupled. It is always a great day to have a great day.
Its been a while since I last wrote, and it may be a while since I write again, but I wanted to let you know about some exciting, limited-time offer opportunities.
If you haven’t heard the news: I am now very pregnant, a proud single-mother-by choice-to-be, with a Blessingway and (Surprise!) Virtual Baby Shower under my belt, and my article “A Matchmaker’s Perspective On How Single Motherhood By Choice Could Upgrade Your Love Life” set to be published in Pregnantish Magazine soon. I look forward to my labor, birth, and slowing down as I transition into mom life with my baby girl; I just wanted to say: Its time for last call!
If you are in my database at Rachel Russo Relationship, you may know that I have been working to transfer database member profiles to another highly-respected company I am working with-Maclynn International- to double the chances of getting matched while I am on maternity leave (for the next three months) and beyond. If you haven’t completed your application for open membership: They have hundreds of clients throughout the US and internationally, and it would be no cost to you to be an open member. It is also no cost to be a database member at Rachel Russo Relationships. so if you aren't in the database, you can get in here.
If you want to know more about this matchmaking opportunity with Maclynn simply email Rachel@RachelRusso.com. I am happy to speak with you and/or send you information about their terms and conditions of open membership. If you want to actually hire a matchmaker, I can make referrals to colleagues, and I am also available to support you with 1/2 price coaching sessions. Last call for dating and relationship advice-via virtual coaching-at the reduced rate of $125 per session. This offer stands until November 2, 2021 when I will officially go on maternity leave. To apply to Maclynn after November 2nd, please select open membership, and use the code “RachelRusso”.
As always, I wish you luck in love and life, and I look forward to being in touch soon!. Feel free to follow me on Instagram for more on my solo mom by choice journey in the meantime.
One of the major perks of a matchmaker’s career is that it provides the matchmaking professional with so many opportunities to connect with interesting, accomplished people. And on a deep level while we are at it!
From venture capitalists and small business owners, to NFL players and entrepreneurs, I have helped all types of people find and keep fulfilling romantic relationships throughout my sixteen years in this industry.
I really enjoy the “member to non-member” business model that I have been using for the past several years, as it allows me to consider the whole world as my database. In the past when I worked for companies that did not do outside searches or executive recruiting, the success was limited. I felt confided in my matchmaking process, as I could only match clients with other paying clients in the companies network. I could only do the best I could with what was in front of me.
At Rachel Russo Relationships, I have taken a different approach. As long as I have one paying client-whether male or female-I am happy to go out into the world and scout singles. I often focus my search online-utilizing social media sites like Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn as well as dating apps and sites. One day “offline” recruiting might mean calling up a matchmaking colleague who could help me match a client; the next it could be stumbling upon the perfect woman while picking up my iced green tea at Starbucks, and the day after, it could mean paying a recruiter to find singles at the hottest event in town!
I am very big on collaborating with other matchmakers, as it has led me to make several successful matches and also compensate love industry professionals with generous commissions for the work they have done in creating their network of singles. If you are interested in being considered by some of the best matchmakers in the United States and internationally, reply to this email—as I have connections that could lead to romantic introductions that won’t cost you one cent!
In my business, I am currently doing a matchmaking search for a forty-year old eligible bachelor in Bergen County, NJ. He is a successful entrepreneur looking for someone special-with both brains and beauty-to enjoy life with. She should be anywhere from her late twenties to late thirties and located within one hour of his residence in Northern NJ—excluding the NYC area. (Yes, he needs a lady with a car!) Also, she must be beautiful and interested in a true partnership!
Does this sound like you? If so, please apply to be considered-at no cost to you- by filling out a profile in my confidential database here.
Note: Your information will not be shared with anyone without your consent; your profile is for my eyes only—unless you authorize that I pass it on. Upon receiving your profile, I will be in touch to let you know if you are a fit for this client or someone else I am working with.
Do you know someone who may be a potential match for my client? Please send me an email at Rachel@RachelRusso.com with photos and details of the single woman you’d like to nominate. If you will accept, I will gladly compensate you ($150) for the referral—or provide a complimentary coaching session to you!
Yup, that’s matchmaker life for you!
Million Dollar Question: Can women have it all?
Society seems to tell us we should be beautiful, fit, well-educated, successful in a career, in a happy marriage, with 2.5 kids, a thriving social life, and a vacation home. People think it should all unfold on the perfect timeline too.I believe some women can have it all-- but not necessarily all at the same time!
Last week, I sat down with my lovely matchmaking colleague, Julia Bendis, and attempted to answer this question on this episode of her “Someone Had To Say It” podcast. I opened up about my decision to become a mom without a partner. I talked about all the details of how I became pregnant this past March, how Covid factored into it all, my advice for women-with a ticking clock-who currently want children but aren't in a relationship. I've done many podcast interviews throughout the years, but this was my most personal yet; it was such a pleasure to speak with Julia--a matchmaker who truly "gets" it!
Its been so rewarding to share my solo mother story, and so many people have reached out with love and support--and to let me know that my participation in the Solo Mother Instagram Challenge has inspired them!
If you’d like to learn more about my journey, you can check out my daily Instagram posts since July 1rst or read my recent feature in this Yahoo Live article about the benefits of solo motherhood.
That’s all for now.
There is no doubt about it: The pandemic changed things--and the dating culture was no exception!
As many singles have discovered, "video dating" is a thing now that is here to stay. The apps are still alive, well, and generally as awful as ever, but: Some people are still finding success. And I am happy to help them navigate the ups and downs along the way. Sometimes the right coach makes all the difference.
Meanwhile in the matchmaking world: A lot of us matchmakers are wondering: Is dating officially back? Are people serious about finding relationships or will it be "a hot girl summer"?
I'll be honest: I am getting a lot of women wanting to be matched up from NYC, New Jersey, and Long Island, but since the pandemic, it seems there have been less men reaching out for matchmaking!
Hence, the ad in Newsday. Don't get me wrong: I am always looking for quality women to match with male clients, but right now I am wondering:
Long Island men, where are you!? I am especially looking for very successful men there and in NJ.
Know any? Feel free to refer to me in exchange for generous commissions. Single yourself? You can always apply to be in my confidential database here.